So funny! Ha ha! - Qzone log
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Reprinted from alumni of the user at 19:51 on September 7th, 2010 Read (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
1, the girl said: I'm pregnant. Men continue to bow to eat, said: I had a ligation. Shocked for a girl: You're kidding me. Man raised his head and looked at her, drink some water, said: Me too.
2, the morning bus, a mobile phone from his bag and dig to see the time, and then simply said, an air conditioner remote control
3, at university, the toilet is kind of a row of old-fashioned pit-bit, and no doors. One night lights broken toilet, found himself a pit-bit, squatted down, when a strong lift up a hand hip, a deep voice rang: It was!
4, the company smoking, so there is a small compartment of the WC became the brother-specific smoking room.
brother to WC smoking yesterday and found that WC was accounted for, brother reluctantly, to withdraw ~
10 minutes later, WC has been accounted for, Columbia tolerance, withdrawal ~ ~
20 minutes , WC is still occupied, and Costa angry: Hey! There are no one ah?
half a minute later, there came the weak voice of the weak: brothers, there is no paper ah?
sweat, so brother handed the paper towel through the crack,
cheap timberland boots,
the past five minutes later, which still did not movement,
anger Brother: Hey, you in the end that not come out ah?
half a minute later,
timberland boots sale, handed out through the crack, I just handed over a half stack of toilet paper,
and then there came the weak voice of the weak: Brother, can you help me to dip some water ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kao, brother collapsed, feeling so long, dry it! ! !
5, one day with her boyfriend to go to Shenzhen SEG Plaza, Huaqiang North, (more people to be squeezed out of the feces), in the elevator, I suddenly stand on the two frames and then turn around, very loudly on her boyfriend said: Just after the Four-year-old had never been seen before are the beam directly on the bike sitting in my father, sitting side with a long time feet will be linen, very hard to accept! Grandma finally have time to go home, I suggest taking a back seat, because that foot is not Ma! Agreed! Haha, go! ! Results to the cup when the destination place ... I forget Dad to directly step down from the back legs, and then kicked me down directly ...
7, day into the city, suddenly urgency So find a quiet corner ready to work, who knows by a police discovered a rush to scold me, I shall also fine, I was angry and loudly replied: do not look out into ah! I burst into tears, you too have motivated the TM!
9, the school's male and female toilets connected. Forget to bring a girl to the toilet tissue, is embarrassed when the man next door came the bathroom toilet, girls Huarong pale and loudly asked, class, female teacher's pants zipper open. One girl stood up
cautioned:
11, an art teacher at a local there are so little known, a newspaper has a greater coverage, along with a photo, so the opening blow in the class: severe, had been published in newspapers on the photos ... ...
12, Middle School, geometry teacher is a old lady, love boast, especially annoying. Day in class, said:
13, once I see my sister in the paint Uncle Tai Po, suddenly cried out: , just the door. Just my aunt to go to the bathroom. She hastened to greet customers, said: with your Chinese curse What is the most classic .. I thought it curse the X. .. you tell him. ... His mother may feel that they are cattle of the ... day of classes X, he had just see them into the classroom of a country who has come such a mouth on the classic ... so time has come .. the other is calm and the Huileyiju you. mother. B. .....
2. I am a man lying on the school .. the first thing ..
have to pay to a school .. his mother gave him 100 dollars .. but the day of the class after school confiscated ... .. see the roadside selling snacks .. do not hold back ... my buddy bought three dollars back home to eat .. ..
his mother: pay to it?
buddy: Today confiscated.
his mother: Oh, the money then?
buddy: to.
mother asked: how not 100?
man: Oh, I came back lost three dollars ...
Mom: ...
hand touching face sound ....
3. sleep holy is the nickname of my high school at the same table, the person of a particular study hall to sleep, wake up early the next day had study hall, then in the winter, the black northern winter is still seven o'clock, the people think is going to night classes after class, HLL back to quarters and fell down asleep, wake up until noon before.
I do not know how he was admitted to Tsinghua University and Dr. all the way to read the Chinese Academy of Sciences.
few days ago he came to our hospital, his head is Wu Qing, I was shocked: I watched, I fell asleep, stumbled in the quarters that, I feel uncomfortable wearing clothes came off, GF, and sister sit in the front did not find, then Lao Zhangren back, thought we were playing **, kick my face ... University where the green as the school's main colors, so the school souvenirs, the mascot, T-shirt, notebook or something, without exception, are bright green-green, including the hat. . .
While foreigners who run it, and there is no taboo, but as a Chinese,,, anyway, I bought a bunch of green souvenirs, except hat. . .
saying I have a Venezuelan students, handsome guy, who is also very good, but a little smug, dress up every day towards the development of flowers, especially like the bright clothing. ... Small group on Friday probably bought a new hat. . . Fresh green fresh green. . . Very happy guy, kept to show off before the class, but also to spread to Colombia to help him take pictures on facebook. . . Brother laughed language. . . I thought better not to tell him the profound meaning. . .
this class, young man listlessly lying on the table, look very depressed. So the last inquiry. . .
originally appointed him cheating on his girlfriend home to find a new joy, he was formally notified yesterday kick. . .
. . . That guy looked
-green-green top hat ... brother ... not know what to say ah this is the wisdom of our ancestors!
5. My mother, 52, but the mentality of the young especially, to dress the same with 30. then called her my arm (I male, 180 stature, had just shaved bald poll) suddenly felt a huge hand from my left brain photographed, and then I fell to the ground on HLL's. That was Avenue, ah, I just remembered playing on the heard the familiar voice sounded especially the I'm her son ... Helping you quickly look ah!
everyone: Do you use perfume? ? Han brand? ?
relinquish strengths: SIX GOD ah, I just use that.
All: Niubi ah,
mens timberland boots, never heard of, ah, Sha Yangzi ah? .
Relinquish strengths: Six Florida Water God, you who took it?
all :.............
7. For a moment I wanted to study whether it can be stored fart, so I can use a bottle as a container, Alignment of each fart and then put the former regard the bottle, put the end to seal with plastic wrap. So next time a fart, and to repeat the action.
stored this way for two days, I want to see results, so the unsealing, solemnly smell a bit ... ...
proved fart can indeed be stored ... ...
8. first day, we have that the school mess.
a day, small Cangnan the stairs, a high-grade bully, hastily ran down, picked up a small Cangnan clothes: in money, he was calm, so he said the word pun:
shocked for a few seconds: said no,
timberland outlet, you can search my body get to give your search, but now I really do not have money you do not believe it ... ... !
scolded:
9. Friends of the crying, asked the reason!
said its third year know a school girl, hot fast, and often spend the night do not start! its principles can not wear the wedding dress for her to Do not untie her buttons! the high school dropout, diligence exception, their women are Chushoubufan! school girl want to drop out of school, the threat posed to say: do not break on the University and Seoul! school girl hard then! consider an undergraduate School school! the then increasingly hard to make money! During the three years, not one penny of economic house! full payment of the school girl! still insists on not moving the school girl!
school girl near a car accident, medical decisions: a body of two life !
its howl, saying: I TM to send someone else's door but his wife three years to weave a green hat!
10. My college buddy buddy with a legend, he has school for several years, but his story is still circulating Ji X university said it ......
graduation BH buddy to do when the election is entitled: perpetual motion machine manufacturing .. .....
in front of that guy in high spirits about his theory, this time under the teacher can not help but whisper (discussed under this man is not sick.)
gorgeous this time came, this man broke the chalk 向那 teacher threw his back, with the added sentence: .
12. with a phone call father grandfather, father of a then say: hey, Dad it! ? back when there was a beautiful girl, I love, one day see her play with a ruler, the ruler with sparkling top, hit upon evil, to ask her to lend over secretly in your mouth (it was first kiss, though indirect) in my back to her, thinking she could not see. While some people did not poke me, I was still drunk yet, is who told a moment did not react, he turned to suck when the ruler was still hard, her face hidden bitterness, said: give it to me .......... ......
Since graduation she has been despised.
14. the words of the year, or primary, as is short, the teacher arranged in the first row.
day math class, is pretending to listen carefully when, suddenly feeling the belly does not have the urge to fart. . So I very carefully very light to put it out slowly. . Haochou. . Really Haochou.
students collectively cover their nose and three rows plus mutual suspicion. Of course, this kind of thing can not be recognized! So I pretended to pretend innocent victims. But it is unfortunate that the guy sitting next to me suspicion to me, up against the risk of vomiting next to me to hear to smell. . I kept pushing him.
results must be the teacher saw. Teachers know the truth, that we in the rough, so very strong, said: stand up at the same time, I found the corner of the guy sitting next to me lying on my seat smell! Ah lie heard in my seat! !
with great speed so I know the result of a math problem on the blackboard that the answer (in fact, when my elementary school math scores well --b). And then forced, and very fast, gorgeous and sat down!
the guy was about to rise to the seat again and I had close contact, and with a
teachers and angry: absolutely not mistaken and remember very deep! now I think, should be the teacher's slip of the tongue, he should be trying to say is saddle)
whole class laughed, the boys next to me sit up and look aggrieved and want to plead but do not know how to say, little face up in the red...
writing on the blackboard the teacher turned to writing when the child turned his head he kept on sitting in the back of the students whispered: fart that he put ! fart is his amp!
This time it was Colombian blush....
15. My classmates tragedy. and the people with him will be particularly unlucky, said he had elementary school, sitting with him as long as unexplained nosebleeds occur, the road was copied from school gangsters, forgot to write the name of examination papers copied penalty, was looking for counterfeit money to buy things ... sort of misfortune. then listen to his junior high school students After very afraid, try not to touch him, but what a group of Spring and his people fell into the lake, he likes the girls in the examination result of sudden illness hit test, a road every day and his home such things as a boy in a car accident or the tragedy happened. but more tragic is that there is a mathematical model failed the test class, other classes are also exam, the teacher asked the class is very strange why not pass a lot and found the results of investigation the day is that person birthday ...
16. playoffs the past two days, I think of high school. high school classrooms have a TV, we look at the rocket after school playoffs are Hi skin... but we supposed class squeeze.. . We put the TV sound off, the screen dims. TV right in the head teacher, then, the teacher was surprised to find everyone that hold back the rise of lectures ... ... ah, can not call
17. I Two very naughty kid brother, all day around getting himself into, once they make a mistake, kneeling by his aging mother ... his aging mother in the living room is also cruel, the Pro out of the lost sentence: I come back you do not kneel on the dead ! then went out. We two brothers are also very stubborn, kneeling on the knees, is more afraid! to as boil, over time, the question came, I looked frowning brother, said brother ... my brother so I did not finished, immediately take words: urinary urgency, right? Well I had heard, he said: I hurry!! how to do? brother looked at me meaningfully and said: What mom never let up ... ... and then Soon his aging mother back, opened the door enough to create misunderstandings, the two kneeling boy also face arrogance, but more than two beaches in front of the liquid, but also enjoyable twist was like, it is truly elegant!
18. days of hot, I often drink plenty of water, has been forget to buy a cup. often use the company's paper cups to drink water. the day before I go to work, see the table stood a large glass moon material. and it is kind of cute, beauty manager, colleagues said to me . I was especially touched by a bit to pick clean water to drink. Shuo Liu cup water with a big sense of unique personality, a very respected colleague to cast eyes. noon, I eat dinner, take a cup to drink water. suddenly came Beauty Manager shocked to see me there ... and then she said: This is my little trash can send you, am anxious to give you forgot to put the lid, and this to send you a cover ... I went to Le
19. day school, math teacher because we test the temper somewhat less unhappy.
noon I get sick, twisted a few times, released a giant smelly P.
students have protested, chaotic classroom, the teacher's wroth tales.
teacher was very angry, P will not be put out to put it? Chousi! national cadres. Professor of retirement to play the old heat, the international radio station every morning to do a profile of programs to learn English every day.
program is broadcast early in the morning. Babaoshan international radio stations in the vicinity, far away . So every day before dawn to the old professor went there.
one day, the old professor too late. can not be late, and quickly taxi.
coming.
old professor master anxiously grabbed the shoulder:
We sat around a table
5, eat with ferocious, a dish up, meal loot, on the empty plate.
new dishes on the Romantic side, then removed an empty plate.
As more people
restaurant, serving slower, we devour, the table actually has only one plate.
Finally finished, we burped, carrying a fourth of the dish, just want to go.
first came to dinner next to a classmate looked at us and said:
>
22. high school that would be a thing of the small restaurant opposite the school, from a shop called temperature + full,
timberland kids, at first every day, walking from the front, but also did not find anything wrong, and later, and a classmates through the store, how the students told me how this name, I suddenly realized ... not a month later, the shop was closed down a business, store cards are demolished, and a fine of 1,000 yuan ...
23. a mm, while QQ is very simple to leave auto-reply still there? not! Hey, you too much, your sense of shame still there? not!
24. graduated, we Yikusitian. I think of my last things. is summer dress I wore high heels and fell from the stairs to go. the process is not the point, here ignored. then went to the hospital to allow doctors to view. I'll carry her off in the hands of pantyhose. She saw my huge swollen and full of bruises and scratches legs bloodstain after children face a very dignified manner Miaole Miao my hand. ... and then say: so strong Where did you buy socks
25. the first two days and the LP to buy clothes , pick two, I try in the dressing room, heard on the outside and the proprietress LP bargain: a 38, one 58, two pieces of a total of 100 well, the fraction of wiping out on the line. proprietress said, no We this is special, and a penny is not cheap, 100 sold vain!
Finally, I came out pay, the boss money, 96 ... ...
26. 4:00 work , vice president of the Land Rover open home, halfway off cigarettes, purchase only 11 found the body. on the bus can see the oil life display to run 41 kilometers. was surprised to open the GPS, the results show the precise home to 42 km. passing gas stations, very hesitant to add 10 of the oil. or go in the period of insurance.
.
remember the only telephone company front, then use the gas station a landline. a security guard answered the phone and asked him how much money, the answer is only 120, I said enough of it back to me quickly. so that NB taxi over, fare 38. continued to tears ran.
call to the financial, but fortunately the cashier did not go. Half an hour later the cashier, the neatly packed with business models that paid the money. suddenly feeling really happy money .
cashier so happy to send back home, to send the security back to the company. pocket complete circle and then passing gas stations, but also angrily turned away several glances BS. The results come back to me and tears ran out.
fuel life display: can mileage: 41 km. I harbored feelings of anger and drove into the gas station.
faint little boy looked at me: or 100? see that no one help help it. this time to see next to a PLMM, so he took his daughter to the edge with her daughter, said: The first reflection of the fire is a foot up ...
29. summer vacation back home, pulls out a childhood ...
sentence of this essay question, continue: cars keep from me in the past ...
30. Friends college entrance exam with a non-mainstream dress MM, very, very seductive, the escape of MM at least sit down and bottom one-third said that good ... is sitting in the white good white friends left front, so This brother was the scourge of Rights, while writing a paper side of the ditch can not help but look to the others ass. hard look,
timberland uk! invigilator tragedy be a warning, and then the uncle of a proctor to him to see his eyes down, eyes fixed grid after two seconds decisively put the glasses back to the podium, and then returned and stood behind this brother, this brother the entire focus of the exam invigilator ...
· someone to go to Shanghai on business lost a dollar in the street, police said: left the company the Ministry of Personnel, one day go to the bar, the bartender says: Patrick, I heard you recently quit the personnel matter?! Zhang heard great panic, bartenders busy changed his tune, I heard that you are not in the personnel matter?! Miss
· a U.S. abortion doctor deliberately get the pain, cried Miss: pain! can not stand! doctor: can not stand have to be, who told Hello when do not come by me.
· ramen shop counter, a pretty girl is waiting in line. to her, ramen master asked: Do you want thick or thin? Girl A: I'll have whatever you pull.
· bookstore salesperson with a straight face: Do not look, here is selling books is not the library! Customer: What is your attitude, not a little smile. Clerk: You're here to buy books, or to buy a laugh?
· a meteor across the night sky, I immediately promised a wish, I hope you will become more beautiful, who knows just finished Xu wish meteor Is it?!
· an accident boy donated blood, his girlfriend, the boy asked after breaking his blood also, the girl fiercely to throw in the boys face ***: I will pay you monthly installments! br>
a dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I'm getting is not normal, what to eat pull anything, eat cucumber pull cucumber, watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? doctors silent for a moment, you can eat feces was.
· Ah Yuan in the field study. One day, he found living expenses have run out ahead of time, they sent a telegram to the family busy for help. telegram only two words: exhaustion. just a few days, A Yuan received the call back home: resist!
· you know our friendship to me is full of rich meaning, when you cry I cry, you laugh when I laugh, when you jump out of tall buildings, I would not hesitate to head out: Die strange! found that the door has a sign that read university dormitory has a buddy, one day Hing Fat song, sing Richie's Benxiong drunk Gohan on Benxiong said: When I told my wife to marry him, a full kneeling for an hour, you kneel it? Benxiong proud to say: My wife says I am free to kneel, and the opportunities of the future! ......
· bin Laden sent a letter to Bush: qs-IHSIN, Bush understand, the FBI can not do anything, so she sent six British ** love to answer is: against the President to take, with Hanyu Pinyin to read!
· a ** walking in the street, was stopped, say you ugly, you deny, was beaten up: hypocrisy! stopped the next day and say you are ugly You acknowledge, beaten: No modesty! third day was again stopped, not to respond was beaten even worse: such a scandal drag!
· have a very flat chest girl, she was afraid her boyfriend to know tell him to never hold anything. They first go to bed, turn off the lights, blanket drill, the men began to touch, he touched the girl's chest. Then he said: Honey, do tummy sleeping ah!
* I looked at the stars, counting the day you met, there are more than three years, but we only met twice before, you'll still be there. but please do not blame me do not often see you, but unfortunately ah ... ... the zoo is too far from my home friends!
· Fang and her boyfriend dating in the grove, the voice can be heard singing a terrible boyfriend. Xiaofang: You're not a singing, the trees others scared! boyfriend: is this effect to be, or how clear the scene!
· If hungry country? to shabu shabu hot pot were! If thirsty country? to the river around! if I had not the money supposed to? to find a fool deceive! If Modan country? to find Osama bin Laden and thought! If think you supposed to? to the pen to see!
· raw edge of the Taklimakan Desert of students admitted to a university, villagers beat drums and gongs to celebrate, he was grateful tears. just about to thank the old man was accidentally heard a roar: there is still one people and we rush to drink!
· still around to finish, he has been running non-stop, 44 laps, and I anxiously watched him, he ran so calm, so leisurely. I was alone and silently count: Five, four, three, two, one! bell ... ... the class was over!
heard that your phone is not SMS, so send this message tests. If you have received, confirmed and I send SMS text messages, please give me reply: I have, is your !
· single Lao Li Wang Q: Why is the law a man can only marry a wife, Lao Li said in earnest: you will find, after his wife had, in fact, this law is to protect man .
· there shall come out to feed the wolf, and heard a woman in the lessons children, said: cry cry'll throw you out to feed the wolf! night, said the results of wolves: his mother's! the old ladies say not count ah!
· car guy put on a loud fart, sitting next to a woman called out to him three times straight, Department narcissism, the owner to drive it. sow Road pine belt, the five precepts brush your teeth, toilet quit six, seven quit drinking, do you know Journey?
· rabbits that fled from the gray wolf, the wolf angry Jizhui, rabbit to wipe soil play gray rabbits body, wearing glasses to read the newspapers, the wolf asked: can see a rabbit? Rabbit: The rabbit is the wolf ruined it? Wolf shame: by! published in the paper so quickly was?
· Drifting to participate in math exam invigilator staring at the beads around his neck looked a long time, sneered: Hey! the thinking disguised as such, and not think of cheating, soon off to!
· I see her face with a shy, sweet demeanor, can not help the hearts of a swing, whispered: dance.
· natural class. teacher asked Yingying: When cherry pick the most appropriate ah? Yingying blushed and whispered: when nobody!
· bottom of a bureau under way out, the most useless people quit, and suddenly was told Liu: I really useless!
· traffic police car outside, said: Where is my trailer to go after? B: you do not leave his wife over it! A: That guy can not signed the letter!
· A: You know, children of God live it? B: live toilet. A: Why? B: Because every morning I heard my father knocking on the door when the toilet is always said: 'God, ah, how do you still inside? '
Learning English for so many years, suddenly found an interesting phenomenon:
clever clever
honest honest
intelligent wisdom
noble noble
excellent excellent
smart clever
elegant elegant
put these words in English the first letter of
put together is: Chinese --- Chinese
junk junk
adult goat
prostitute bitch
ass ass
nasty dirty
evil devil
scamp rogue
excrement smell dog feces
the first of these English
put together a letter that: Japanese --- Japanese!
is the Chinese people in a group where each of your first
please send to each group and let the Chinese people proud of what
read the following statement in Mandarin!
a language teacher for the students to read a poem entitled stupid donkey), shore like green (I was an ass), through the green shore like (I is the donkey), through The Tender shore like (I was the first stay donkey)!
Recommended QQ: 269749463 More Comedy graphics do come in to welcome you watch! Definitely makes you funny, do not see the funny if you call me please!
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