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Reprinted from 277953371 at 08:24 on December 15, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
I was able to talk about family education in this experience, because I did too much contact with children. I teach at the university from the beginning, New Oriental has to do later, to the east from the new going out now more than 700 million students. I've seen a lot of happy students, but also see a lot of the students was delayed; see the success of many parents because the child feel very happy, also saw many parents because the child is not successful and you'd rather die; I have seen many poor families Finally, because the child of promise and life's full of happiness; I also see a lot of billionaire families, parents and even the last question because the child suffering from schizophrenia. Many parents and I said, Yu teacher, I put all the money donated to you, as long as you can my child into a normal, happy child. I often say to them, now you say that it is too late, because the child is from birth to 18 years on the basic shape, all things must be done before the age of 18.
There is an old saying in China: 3-year-old to see a large, 7-year-old look old. Now the transformation of Chinese society at large period, from an agricultural society look into the business community. And now the China business ethics and business ethics itself, without a complete understanding of the Chinese people in the business community in the swindling of the signs are everywhere. Many small businesses are caught in the middle of a panic, and in such a panic, how should we educate our children? For example, we educate our children and sincere, but sincerity and then the child bullied by others on the outside; we educate our children good, the good results we found that children are not recognized by the society. We will reflect on, is not to teach children the opportunistic thing, is not that teach children a little more aggressive. Some of the things we adults do, sometimes unwittingly give children shows bad things, the child's own values and world view, a major impact on the formation of life. Therefore, we educate our children approach a problem.
family education a top priority - character education
now on family education in China has entered the era of very complex, there are standards of society, the family there are standards, and that these standards also may be the wrong standard. For example, our standard is to require children in the class into the top five, the child can be admitted as long as Beijing University and Tsinghua University is considered a success, to Harvard, Yale, the more successful. Although this is standard, but in my opinion, is wrong standard. Why the error, as it eventually turned into a family's only standard. The child's growth there are many standards, for example, whether the virtuous character is a standard, whether individual health is a standard, things have creativity, imagination is a standard, there is no spirit of bearing hardships, there is no diligence is a standard there fell to the ground and the spirit of courage to get up a standard. China is now the society, the limited success of a particular narrow range, test scores for kids, good grades is the standard; children five-year-old will play the piano, you will be rewarded. The adult world, we Chinese never have a man how many true friends as a standard of success, our adult world standard is that people have money, rank, there is wealth.
I fell into such deep pain, many people said to me after seeing my first words: Some people think I am a winner it? If I was a penniless,
new balance outlet, must rely on their own effort to make money people, would someone come and tell me: friends, the real recognition of my success. I personally think he is a winner, not because I have a new East, I made money, but I have a basic principle in life, I always think I am a good person, I am a person they have no evil thoughts , from small to large, I have not done a thing to hurt others. Of course, sometimes accidentally said something on the words hurt others, then it is possible. Blurted out some words, other people will feel uncomfortable, I can apologize to him, but the wicked things that I certainly have not done.
from my experience I would like to tell parents, if your child does not educate, out to stir up trouble, people will accuse you of the child, said: New Oriental Foreign Language did not teach well, aunts and uncles did not teach well, people will say: After the problem children grow up, parents must be planted roots. The success of children with parents of children is closely related to family education is correct. We teach children is to teach character and ethics, whether the child's good character and moral education is the key to the success of the child life. As long as he was respected figure, his life will live particularly well. Parents can think about is you want to be a popular person, or against a person to be everywhere? Many parents are teaching children virtually petty, teach children to take advantage of, how to think of ways to teach children more than others, to trample on others, the final result is that children do not understand how to survive in this world. What you give a child, the child is the future what kind of person.
my daughter is now in the middle level of learning, but I never want to work as a daughter of the standard. My wife and I the opposite philosophy of education. My wife is the daughter into the top five will get angry, and I am just the opposite, my daughter the first 15 I am very happy every time I said to her daughter: 25 individuals, more powerful you are,
new balance sneakers! Children can pull away from the real life large, people doing things with his character issues are related. Character of the set from the power of example, parents as role models children can not escape. We ask what the child has no effect, because the parents failed to do. For example, while the parents playing mahjong while scold their children to learn, the children certainly do not want to learn. When the father said: Why must I go to college it? Parents are their children the best example. But I encountered a lot of problems setting an example, my job is to use the computer, but I turn on the computer, my daughter will think I'm doing other things. Although I tell my daughter is at work, but my daughter did not believe it. No way, as long as my daughter was learning, I took a book next to my daughter see, this way, there is a sense in which the rules, models play a very important role.
my parents I play a very important role. My parents are not literate,
new balance shoes, but the advantage of parents who I monasteries, the criteria to be my life. I am in my father as an example. My father was a carpenter, is the frame beam, and he is 15 years around our experts. My father was a can not wage a happy person, because the planes were needed to have a large drink Leong, my father had a drinking pleasure not for money. Do not get back to the house because of money, my mother told my father fought, my father looked strong, my mother is very thin, the results every time my father beat my mother, my father never fight back. I learned from my father, no matter what others say, he especially does not matter, at any time not hurt my mother. My mother is particularly strong personality who sometimes say I listen all kind of uncomfortable, but my father never even had a mouth. So, how my wife is training me, I is not talk back, and I think I should learn from his father. His father's generosity became one of the advantages to me. My mother brought me something more, there are two things that I learned from an early age. First, industrious and brave. The city's parents that their children home education is the most industrious and brave heart of things. A lot of people would say, even our children are too busy to learn lessons, how diligent and brave ah? I have done to help him home, and how hard he was brave ah? Although I am now the conditions are favorable, but I still think of ways to let their children are industrious and brave. Like me at that time, you do not work, then to starve to death, destined to the rural environment that I do not need my parents would do it.
my mother brought me to the second point, to be helpful. My mother is a special person to help others, a child there are two things impressed me the most. The first thing, and once the next big rainstorm, I was eight or nine, this time the most vulnerable children affected by their parents. At the time, basking in every household of corn, my mother took my sister, me, my father, we put together a family of four neighbors are all taken away the rice, until the rice to receive our home and found that rice has been poured wet. At that time I did not understand, my mother gave me about two things, first of all, people have a difficult time you have to help people, not their home, and if we do not help their income, their home will be leaching of food a year wet. Second, if the neighbors get along well, is not possible in times of difficulties help each other. My mother told me with real action, The second thing, crop failure one year,
2008 Great summary!, our family is less than 20 pounds of food, the mother half of the food actually ceded to the neighbor, I was very reluctant, and the mother said: less, you can use mixed vegetables with rice to eat, many people and there is no rice neighbor, regardless of their rice to the starving people will be. They think we are good people. To the present, my mother is the most respected people in our village.
do any one thing, you have to think about it, I did not hurt others. For example, we adults sometimes like to say that neighbors and colleagues in the back ill, and when that does not evade the child. I told my wife to such a situation occurred, we discuss the East West at home parents is short, which people of good character, which one character is not good, which were stingy, which were not cheap. Once the results came back my daughter from school, the students told me what her class is good, which is not good students, which students stingy, which students snob. I told her that we can not say bad things about the students, the students every day with you, their body's shortcomings if you think you in my heart, more importantly, you have to learn the advantages of students. My daughter immediately ask: Since then I told my wife set a rule, can not talk in front of children the shortcomings of others, some other good things to say.
cultivate children's love of life - feeling Education
As mentioned above, is now a top priority of family education to do is to educate children with good character, and the second is to the heart of education. My daughter was born more introverted, is a very quiet child, my son is very outgoing, climbed up and down several times every day, my daughter do things slowly, my son is more irritable, which are inherently different. In addition, the child's IQ is different, I have not seen my daughter and son have any IQ differences, because they are relatively small age gap. We will see in this situation,
Studio site on the line - Qzone log, in a class, some children will always be the first or second, his intelligence is really high. And no matter how hard our kids are in the middle, or even behind. In such circumstances, how should parents do? Child is different, but as long as your child not to the idiot level, as long as the children into the classroom can be a normal, able to make important event. Hu is only two months on the example of school, but eventually became the most powerful businessmen, but also harbor great ambitions, this is a good example.
I was vice president of the Chinese Entrepreneurs Association, the Association has more than a thousand entrepreneurs, Peking University Tsinghua University Fudan graduate less than twenty, and the rest are all college graduates, and even the farmers, workers, college students,
new balance mens, secondary school students, etc., but they have become successful entrepreneurs. Therefore, education can only be decided as part of life, can not decide everything.
our parents must have a skill, in any case, both to push their children to progress, while maintaining the child's self from harm. First you have to ensure that the child happy, have the last one is also happy to let the children feel that life is beautiful in the world, to cultivate children's love of life, is one of the most important tasks parents. American movie Once he met a New York Stock Exchange smiles in front of the person, that person is a stock broker, stock broker when he was very happy that, so he worked to when a stock broker. Later, he met a stock broker training in the people, the man began to look down on him, and later found him playing Rubik's cube is very powerful, and this person happens to have the same hobby, they were the person's Cube skills deeply attracted, the two of them became good friends. The people have won the opportunity to become America's most famous stock broker, to achieve a billionaire's dream.
This movie is based on the true story, and in the film's end,
午后的阳光 - Qzone日记, the man spent half an hour to tell his own story. He inspired each of us, true happiness is not sent by someone else, but his efforts earned. And now the parents of the child is very spoiled child whatever I ask. Fancy a toy such as a child, parents do not buy he does not go, no way the parents can only give the final buy. So this child will have a psychological, as long as he insisted the parents will be concessions. I buy things before her son, will analyze what he is reasonable, if the firm is not unreasonable to buy, if you can not be reasonably easy to buy him, I must let the child complete a task was to buy him. For example my daughter to school in a foreign country, the class of children each have a laptop. Although my home desktop computers, laptop computers but would be more convenient, but not short of money at home, do not buy her is not right. I told her that Daddy will buy you, but you know, this world is not without paying anything, you are now a big boy, you need to get what you want to pay labor. If she can recite 30 New Oriental English inspirational articles to buy her. Results less than two weeks, she was back in verse, and I bought it for her laptop. This form of education so that children learn to pay to get the truth, but also the way the kids like to do another thing into her power.
appropriate to encourage and inspire the unlimited potential - Encourage Education
on how to encourage children to question, I first tell a story. United States, a famous physicist, beginning in junior high school physics, his physical performance is poor, had only a 8 points. Physics teacher talked with him and let him take physics. Students learn that I do not like is bad, the teacher particularly smart, he told the student, other students are 60 minutes pass, the next time you just pass the exam to 9 points even. Students in a program I can be a hook to be able to pass, it is easy, so I agreed, the results of the exam the next 28 points. Although 28 points, the teacher still no reason to praise him in front of the class, because whether or not pass marks. The teacher is very smart, she let the class to the last results of the examination results and make a subtraction, the last test 90, this is 90, a cut is 0, the last 95, the 93, a Less is? 2, which reduced the final to 20 points the rest of a student, that is, the students. Teacher test scores of all students twice a difference on the board, ask a question: points. This encouragement has not insult the color, but also a great incentive color. The students look to excited, he wanted to test whether my class 48,68,88 are the most improved, I have many room for improvement. The teacher did a smart thing, the children feel a vast room for improvement, from the child liked physics, and eventually became one of the world's greatest physicists.
of education is very important teachers, but parents of education is more important, more emphasis on the parents because the child's every move.
me give a simple example. If your child is the last class, how do you treat your child? The reactions are most parents and beat or scold meal. Children know they are wrong, but there is no way, he had 0 points test you how to do? He also continued to hurt you, in the end he might not learn. I suggest that parents friends think about standing up long-term perspective, the first and the last one in the end the number of gaps. Do not college kids on the unpromising life yet? Absolutely not! Like I said, as long as the child a good education, regardless of what is of promise. I can give examples of their own. In the college entrance examination, I did not plan the first year, not admitted to the second year, third year was admitted. I spent three years and my classmates fight for a year, when I graduated at the university, our class of 50 students, I was fifth last class, but the results did not hinder me make my career .
human growth is a lifetime thing, definitely not you in primary school, the University received a score decision. Score is very important for children, but not because the child scores low on the view that a mere boy. Parents must be altered, to determine your success. Children with high scores is one of the criteria of success, but do not use it as a necessary standard, but not as the only criteria. Otherwise your children would be numerous injuries, because any one examination only one first. If a class has 40 students, are in addition to the first, the remaining 39 children are fool? Is failure? Absolutely not! So I have a statement of self-mockery: In fact, when the first also is not easy, because he went so hard, Wang Qianmian a look, people do not have a catch up, to the back of a look, the whole class in the chase themselves, chase own dead than alive, so there is no good when the first of. When the last more than one happy Yeah, a look forward, is to recover the dead than alive, by their own people back and saw a man chasing his own do not, you want this kind of life more chic it!
course, this view can not be said the child, you must learn how to encourage their children. The last test first, the next time I will encourage him to the penultimate test, this time he was 20 points test, the next time I will encourage him to test 30 points. Do not say your children, this test was 60 points, you tell him not test the next 90 minutes do not enter the house. You say so, of course, some children tried to learn, but some children can not reach 90 points like mad, then how can he do? What really would not let him enter the house? You must let him enter the house, you let him enter the house means that you speak to does not count, since the child will know, my mom and dad are talking does not count, then I do not care since he will not let me anyway enter the house, so parents are a child stabbed.
so parents have to remember clearly, you must not let the children live and eat, what to absolutely not to do. Educate children and domesticated animals are exactly the same, many parents do not like a zoo animal trainer. Animal trainer animal trainer in two ways, first, to encourage and absolute encouragement; second, limited, or even punishment. I once asked a domesticated dolphin trainer, why he training of dolphins leaping from the water, and drilling from the circle so high in the past? In fact, he said the dolphins do not start, he put that ring on the water, and training of dolphins who were drilling in the past give it a fish, no drilling is not the last to eat. Dolphins are not stupid, and soon learned to eat fish the way, and later formed a kind of dolphin conditioned reflex. Of course, animals certainly not as clever as we, like, for example, I tell you, this ring you are drilling in the past, I let you on the North, you are sure to drill later, because you know this thing in your favor. Dolphins will not know the relationship between interest, but understand the principle of dolphins, as long as I drilled this ring I had fish, no drilling in the past will go hungry. Followed by an animal trainer from the water put half of the circle, so that the dolphins continue to drill. Dolphins are not found in the water cycle, and can only jump. Gradually, the circle is increasing, probably put 10-20 times a year or so, the training of dolphins jumping circle is complete. We have not noticed, when watching the dolphin show, who jump from the ring of dolphins will swim to the side members to be domesticated fish, because it can eat that stuff every jump.
dolphins from the example above, parents should understand the principle of encouraging and limited to the process of educating the children is very important. For example, children had 0 points, you have to encourage children to consider the next 10 hours, the child of a thought, consider the 10 points was quite easy, you can add some conditions. For example, the children love to eat McDonald's, you can use it as a temptation, promised the children to test 10 points to take him to eat McDonald's,
new new balance shoes, and then add the child's score a little bit to go. For example, test your child for 60 minutes, you do not say next time you want to test to 90 minutes, or the child gave it. You want your child, and 60 minutes has been pretty good, next time you can not take 70 minutes, I do not put your classes in the students than I look at your progress today than yesterday, and you progress tomorrow than today, this depicting a child's scores will go up. He went up a little of each, you have to encourage him. When a lower score on the test, you should tell the child, this may be the occasional mistake, parents support you, do not hurt the enthusiasm of children to learn.
to encourage the same time, parents must set rules for children. My son especially likes to eat ice cream, my wife let him eat a lot every day, to eat bad teeth. I do not go on like this approach to require him to eat an ice cream one day only, and must be half an hour after dinner to eat. My son was just 4 year old, do not know what the concept of half an hour. I told him, that long walk where the needle is half an hour. While my son look at that clock, half an hour read 100 times. Finally coming to a half hour, and can not wait to eat the ice cream. The next day, they become read a dozen times, and to become the third day to see two or three times, and the fourth day he knew that anyway, do not eat short-lived fad to go for fun, until he remembered to eat when the half-hour has passed. As long as the right thing to do, parents should encourage children to give their children the same time set the rules. After established the rules, parents must not be arbitrarily changed, change will be a problem.
Finally, I want to talk about the other parent will commit a wrong, called to syndrome. Parents want their children into a small special genius, in fact, this is a parent's vanity at play. Chinese parents will be guilty of the two problems, first thing he will not let any children will, I hope the child in a field of achievement. So many parents to force their children to this school from primary school that, no meaning. Child's most important is to let him grow up slowly. My daughter likes to play the piano, began playing from the age of 5, playing impact on the taste, and was admitted to a level, every week classes, sit for an hour each time could not move, the results of my daughter kill all interest in playing the piano out. My daughter did not want to learn, but my wife forced her to learn. I asked my wife, your children over the age of 10 when the piano ten, does she also learned after the age of 10 do not learn to play the piano? If she does not learn after the age of 10, then 1-year-old from her piano lessons to 10-year-old what's the use? If you do not want children to develop into a great pianist, you let the children through the age of 10 ten tests is not justified. Second, you let the children learn so let her lose interest in the piano, she does not love playing the piano. My daughter said, Dad does not force you to learn, do not let you Grading Test. Dad regret this life thing is not playing an instrument, play a musical instrument can resolve depressed. Learning the piano is to make you Grading principle, but to help you find a channel to express feelings. Future,
new balance 574, you will enter social circles, if you can sing at a friend when the piano accompaniment, so you will get the respect of others. If you do not want to learn, can not maintain your current level. My daughter is very like the piano, and the assignment tired to play the piano for half an hour. After that she once every week with a teacher, learning the piano more and more concentrated the interest.
summary, family education, character education is most important, followed by the feeling of education, and the third is to encourage education. Finally, the parents let the child learn to suffer.
Finally, I want to tell parents
friends, you take everything, your life, wealth, status, left to the child, your child will not necessarily happy life. You only teach your child how to be a successful person, teach your child learn to pursue their own goals, learn to enjoy to achieve goals beyond happiness and fulfillment, your child will be really happy.
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