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Reprinted from alumni of the user at 11:08 on May 12, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (2) Categories: funny
why the parents can not get good paying painstaking return, our children really are supercilious look wolf? If you are a parent is full of confusion, or you are a do not want to encounter this confusion the parents of the future, Please join us and push the fog of confusion that group to see the truth hidden behind the fog - the famous Gestalt parenting coach Chen Pengyu education teachers, through the accumulation of a large number of cases to explore how self-righteous parents out of love destroyed Originally confident happy children out of ten common problems, you may wish to control a look.
1. placed high expectations of children and the pursuit of perfection
usual argument is that expectations and disappointment, in order not to disappoint his only continue to put pressure on the child. In this case, the child will meet the parents, meet the teachers, or even to meet the social assessment as a
took him such a high price paid was to the children with mental illness,
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2. When children do not disparage his own satisfaction, in fact, children can not punish him
when parents have been very satisfied with the guilty, this time most in need of love from their parents to accompany, assist and support. Parents ignore children's feelings dominated by their emotions,
new balance shoes, just thinking: You are my child, you give me claiming credit, you want me to have face, you can not lose my face! And more with your own odd rules and framework to bound children. But children are often more tied more rebellious, the more you control, the more he do not listen!
Peng Yu teacher's house has a baby daughter when the holiday started playing games every day, the evening hit go to sleep until 12 o'clock. Home mom,
new new balance shoes, aunt and grandmother both contain themselves: this every day playing on the computer, do not write how to do work! Blame the child, the child overturned the nose, Peng Yu teacher that I'm back, is anxious to catch up with his wife for that matter. He entered her room: her daughter back called out He said: playing computer it, all right, you play! And then hand on her daughter's head, half-jokingly said: Dad to give you the energy to send some love, do not detain you play, you continue to play. Ten minutes later, he let go , said: Well, do not want to play to go to bed earlier ah, do not be tired!
That night, my daughter fell asleep at half past ten.
give them some space, let the children remain in a state of guilt can be loved, the children will have a submissive as well as the possibility of self-responsibility. The child that you do not so satisfied he knew of something, without a word, companionship, love, simply give them support even more important!
3. to take their children with all parents than others
is a common problem. Peng Yu teacher said: When you put
4. conditions to meet the needs of children first test
you to buy shoes! you into the top five we for the whole family to travel! many parents regarded the child as a reasonable measure of reward and punishment open! everyone knows, it brings the child subliminal message is: parents meet the standards, is loved. Then children will love to get their parents to pay the cost of losing their own!
Peng Yu teachers have no expectations for her daughter to learn from, even jokingly said: Eyeing the teacher in trouble! Her father said: Dad,
new balance running shoes, today it asked me to eat KFC! The father said: Good! But Dad did not because you have to ask you the third test. Daddy loves you, even if you consider last on the third last, eat KFC, Dad would ask you!
Children said impatiently: Well, Well,
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5. Reprove the child is not
; parents are most willing to reprove the child, to teach children! teachings of parents are particularly keen to every thing, some people feel from the teachings of their own dignity, it was from experience the thrill of conquest. Whether the child is in full
mouth convinced, or convinced my heart! However, the best teaching is Reprove the child is not, not let the children lose confidence is to let the children lose self-esteem.
6.
prophecy predicted a mere boy, there are two consequences of a mere boy, first, the more you say he good for nothing, he The more good for nothing, completely lost the fighting spirit and ability to learn, and ultimately your predictions! another child, the more you say that he good for nothing, the more he proves himself to be promising, but a lifetime living in the also lost the wisdom of life and make his own happiness wisdom.
grew up in a rural girl, she had a brother above. Parents prefer young brother, identified promising than her brother. She was very frustrated, very convinced. So the opportunity of bettering themselves, we must Zhengkou Qi parents look to see if she is not able to stay on a par brother. Later, she really Bi Gege better results, go to college, have a good work, form families. But because the amount of time and energy to prove to her parents to see the passage of time so intolerable to her husband, wants to divorce her ... ...
7. Instead of children to do Select
children there are three stages of mental independence, which are 3 years old,
new balance sneakers, 9 years old and 12 years of age. When small children to eat, parents should be caring and non-interference, not to mention the clothes you eat, and I'll feed it! Then kids want to wear clothes or have chosen for you! There quietly for the children reported to the piano classes, are unwise.
parents always use You are deprived of certain aspects of child development, children lose a certain capacity.
8. limit their children to do what he wanted to do
parents like to say: Do not, Do not do that!
However, the child's nature is, the more you do me the more I want to how to!
9. always worry that their child
do not think that children have control, do not think that children can in fact! so - you get the desired results are not the best way is to worry about,
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have a mother in the child is still in first grade, when a cyber cafe in the time after Warning kids: do not see, this is Internet cafe, a lot of bad kids go in, you can not go in! day after day, children do not understand the beginning, but very curious mind, and finally one day the boy could not help, to go look into this cafe.
addiction of children and then later! children are confident, depending on their attitude towards their parents.
10. do not believe that the child
do not believe the child is the root cause parents do not believe in themselves. When the child said to his mother: Well, I am a man at home, homework, and you get busy now! Mom wanted to shut the door, the children must play on the computer at home, too! This response will make the child feel that parents do not trust me, do not like me, does not respect me! do not believe the child is in the destruction of the child's self-esteem. Parents always strive to the success of their children toward the direction of culture, is committed to developing the child into a A variety of problems as well as more and more children.
Peng Yu teacher thought : the process of parents to educate their children, is to adjust your status to the process of peace and joy,
new balance mens, peace and joy of the state is love! child's education process, but also the heart expand the amount of the process! to change the child is easy, when you.
little by little he will learn from their parents
parents should trust their children is excellent! Every child belongs to his own good a place! Do not compare children's self-esteem killer!