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Old 09-08-2011, 03:43 PM   #1
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Default Society criticized the {kid} ( do {no} miss )

Why do not kids listen? Because you will not criticize! This is a space where users an article in yesterday after perusing it, quickly go to my space! This is a very nice article worth reading, specifically to instructors, parents suggest ... ...
Why criticism No stuff
----- Child made a mistake, God will forgive. The cause why parents can not forgive the aggregate child, probably because I'll say. God immediately!
Everyone makes mistakes, but unfortunately in reality, only the child made a mistake may be more susceptible to criticism.
Why?
Because children often make mistakes? Not!
Because small children do not understand, easy to make mistakes? Not!
Because our parents eyes all follow the child's presence. Yes ah! Basically, all the children's action can not run the grab of their parents. Accidentally fell down on the ground, the mom would say: things, there will be a voice said: Like a storm of criticism, mind I felt unhappy, can not any way! Only had to quietly suffer in silence, for the brave few might top the mouth, but this will peeve derided, it might be sobbing approximately compassion. Oh! Instrument allows more amazing, the parents will screamed Why do you always reserve criticism from morn to night? Why would the same issues are often criticized? Is it because kids do not listen? Naive? Problems too?
Have you ever wondered: Why No material your criticism?
Some folk deplore, life is complicated! More difficult for a female to do! I think you definitely absence to say immediately, the mother is more difficult Leia!
Every daytime I subscribe to the janitor's room to elect up magazines and newspapers. There is an old matron on responsibility who, later her granddaughter from educate also come here often. One day, I usually pick up the newspaper, go after the mini girl is seen lying on the chart act their assignment, while the old matron are courses to her granddaughter: rewrite, that have to rewrite! The tiny girl tightly ineffectively lip, tears in the eyes but also voicelessly, reluctantly wipe just wrote the words. I looked at the ground before the quaint, the original work is the kind of vocabulary train, asked to write every word many times, but the vocabulary words written on rice Gerry, look, this little girl just go to school presently. Some good words to write some words written on the really rather ugly, is not tilted in the m word Gerry hung, or simply put I thought to myself, written so that it is no prodigy, just started it! My old lady Jiaoshu, even her little granddaughter's label I know, called Yingge.
So I said: I said: Little girl seems to still unhappy, the silenced broke, said: I picked up her exercise books, said: The girl seems to look to the morale, then stretched her head together and I see the paperback.
I then asked again: Girl fast glimpsed quickly with tender fingers clutch one of the words.
I saw that word really is good, then asked again: I asked a prolonged sound, not so put it all finished,Nike Shox, the little girl away from me quickly this job to a badly written one word quickly erased.
I nodded approval say: Forced girl nodded, quickly write this on a word, is that it is full, the indomitable spirit of good persona.
I patted her head and said: The old lady said in surprise: As the saying goes, Criticism as a means of training, the purpose is to allow children to know the cause of the error, afterward to lest or correct.
But in fact, many parents have such an experience, and children take to say that reason does not go, criticism is not effective, anxious and beat still does not work, how to do the efficacy is not good! Anyway, is this: say no to listen to, scolded useless! And blow, a burst pipe!
Now is the time for parents to think about. Children make mistakes, and in the end how pipe? How to educate children? Wrong on the criticism of it?

1, useless critique
Let us look by the objection of the child when the parents of several phenomena and characteristics.
(1) commentary of mawkish
Once the mistake occurs when a child, parents ordinarily manifested at emotional, sallow, dancing, recited, eyes straight, high-decibel sound, language, speed, when storms, depicted for hearty! Well, achieved, Ma Wan, and my center namely cheerful,Nike Shox Turbo, and too the balance. And you may no know, growing up headed consume of respiration, while most of the enumeration of the child idea is: suddenly stopped and asked: perfunctory so happy fair to one early end to the storm. If you have the camera, then the parents look at their facial statements and manifestations, actually can be said to bear spectator ah!
The child acquainted you can recite it down every once in a while, namely is, do not know what you said. Only know an thing: I was erroneous, so you cry me! Even the peccadillo occasioned by guilt, worry forward with the roar of criticism perished. Because they understand that, Ma Wan, the general also all right! Children and interested merely object to do is wait, await Zhefan reprehend the end! The end outcome is You can expect extra of this emotional catharsis with a private, subjective criticism much? In fact, many times, muffle is more efficient than such criticism.
Criticism is proposed to grant the kid to recognize their problems, understand and approve the right advice and behavior to correct. As a fault inquiry and evaluation ought be quite reasonable. In this process, the inevitable point of temper, can accept the point of indignation, a sense of proportion to vent aboard whichever errors.
Just consider, how to triumph such a emotion of esteem because the child, how to convince their children, how children can hear to it?
(2) reproved the proliferation of
Sometimes, our parents criticizing their children, the sound impassioned, speed rapid, the head vigorous, thinking, bound, consider wealthy, and naming. For sample, originally a buffet for a bowl of something, you can remember things from the quondam lost keys, losing money, losing face (because test test smashed), merely also side-tracked fighting, seeing TV, playing games. In short, at the peak of you can think of to do the same lens as the movie playback. Turns out, informative, citing direct mention over the pages of children eyelids, mouth of a jot, tangle the cervix, head and one cheap, I thought: Yam Yam you love it! Not also thirsty? Humph!
Critics have focused ashore new problems what to mention, matter-like, and must not be blamed for the fault, and it gets past the age accounts also be counted. This variety of People smile is constantly the parents stopped talking, and how? The original is all of a sudden forget what to say! Had self-mockery, said: Just assume, this makes the child hates how they stray from the heading of criticism may help solve the problem?
(3) criticism of simplistic
In many cases, children make faults, parents are often the criticism of the performance period is not criticism, criticism should not be reproved when the muddle. Many parents have capable the phenomenon of child reside in bed, often the side of the reception, while chatter, and the child has this as the background clamor. Did not play a critical character. Because the child is quite explicit namely, whether late, then study to hike on, the parents have to be a access to get children to school in season, you can send a car, not automobile can be a taxi ah.
Had a parent query me how to do this? I said very simple, you if he would be finished, there will be late for computer criticized him surely. Is because there are manifold ways you can not let him be late, is to bear the consequences of a safeguard the child reside in mattress, so he have the trust to calmly reside in bed, you cry him what intention?
As such in many positions, is that parents do merely criticism of the phenomenon, but did not take practical and effective solutions.
(4) impatience of criticism
There are many cases favor this, kids will not even accomplish that one error alternatively has arrived, can not be acutely aware of the error can bring and what the consequences of our parents have been eager, gas is not one to play, usually the eyes, mouth, or even hands to.
Furthermore, People make blunders is customary, but the 1st time via, when something wrong is customary! However, parents did not give children enough time and space to experience errors, attempt to setbacks, the children do not even know where they went, criticism and reproach has been followed. This anxious for rapid success and impetuosity of the criticism, often smother children's creativity, limiting the child's development.
Why do many children lack interest in knowledge it? Is because parents in the learning activities premature interference, also much intervention, prevalent interventions, puny to referee, inexplicable criticism, leading to the child to learn a alarm, boredom and reverse psychology.

2, criticism when
When children make mistakes the first time, you only need to tell him why he was wrong, how to do is right on the line. In the guide, when the child can preserve a polite style so that he can respect your attitude, let him explain patiently and carefully to understand the causes and consequences of error, understanding sentiments so that he will not be the eclipse of failure constraints.
If the child committed a similar error again, perhaps not very versed with the child the right way, perhaps not deep enough to let him ignore the lesson. We should first analyze the causes of his, if the former case, we must make it clear, things that to understand, give him a opportunity to do; if the latter is the case, it should be applicable for him to do the criticism.
3, what should be criticized
Or contact the child start new things, because of do not know, lack of preparation, behavior is not reasonable, out of discrimination and error is also reasonable. This time the absence is help, not criticism!
The first mistake is understandable, the second mistake you can understand, then it can not stomach the wrong. Criticism at this time is reasonable! I like the word, So critical is for outlook, not for things themselves; criticism for repeated and repeated, and error amendment to give the child the first opportunity. But our parents are often reflected in the criticism when the culprit, it makes the child feel wronged,Nike Shox Sko Norge!
When the error appears again and the problem, such as do not get it back after a perfect report card, parents are not together with their children calmly diagnose the reasons, more blame is the performance itself, for the children to vent their discontent, and this blind The criticism is very beneficial to children to accept and correct.

4, how to criticize
Let's take an tangible case to illustrate, there is a middle school lad is very fond of playing movie games, often skipping, this is affecting their homework, parents are anxious, then how to do it?
(1) reasons to say the sinner
Although theoretical performance the child can, but relatively penniless self-control, lack of predictable consequences, so there may be time ran out to play the game wanted. When this happens, parents should be patient and unravel the consequences of doing, but also to express the child's trust and expectations. Is essential to understand this approximate children what inappropriate! And must not be petulant, accessible beaten! John Locke said, (2) admitted to repeat
But then this child can go out and play the game experience opportunities, and succumbed to temptation, they pilfer ran out to play the game. Parents should tell him to do so severely is not enough. He appeared afresh in outlook of such an error, it is essential and children coincided to a agenda, and asked the children as a guarantee, and said that if the misdemeanour, he will accept any kind of discipline. Of lesson, is mutually prepossessing solution. The same must not be furious, accessible beaten,Nike Shox R3!
Here I would like to note, the children more than adults about In such a believe and respect, the child is difficult to reiterate, even want to play, and parents will be greeted in advance.
(3) to penalize recidivism
Of lesson children once and for all, he made a mistake.
However, parents have two alternatives, one to remain silent and let him know you already know what occurred, and told him to take you to retain the right to punish, but do not intend to implement. Or under compact, so that children Jiannuo, accept the punishment, and once another let him say if the crime, how should he do! The same must not be angry, lightly beaten!
Through the above approach, where the nerve and then the children make mistakes! Of course, I have talked a lot with this boy, academic that his parents did not let him play, so I must do with his parents, a consultation is at a fixed time each week to allow him to play the game,Nike Shox NZ, in the course of implementation of specific , the situation has been repeated, but not long then, the child is no longer truancy, and even among the specified time of the game is to play less. Later, the students told me that he had to play the game not only because of pleasure, but also his household to the gas gas!
In the foreword, I talked to the children because the parents more errors caused by unsuitable enlightenment. Because of mistakes and failures, the child has been punished, have felt the ache and calamity, and parents do not ascertain their own reasons, how the children have the nerve to get angry? It is a problem,Nike Shox Torch, parents of reaction and performance is very important, if more subjective lust to blame, emotional control, rage and abuse, it is very insolent and incompetent, is the lack of manners, lack of understanding, lack of trust, lack of education capability performance, this approach will only make the child look down.
So-called critics, or to talk and exchange-based, but more accent on the wrong thoughts and actions of thinking and checking, in mandate to solve problems and avoid mistakes from happening afresh, criticism is a dialogue with conventions and requirements.
When the child made a mistake, the parents should first ask yourself what's wrong! What they have done enough? I often advise parents, and children can first say There are many parents listen to my advice, then tell me that when the children say All unhappiness and alienation are also these tears rinse out.
As long as parents put it rational, then the child does not want to listen to your words it is difficult -
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