Poor youth male 's luck memo ( a )

Part I the entire of China's poorest pauper
2005 年 7 月 Saturday 30 I am 30 years old woman. I have no house to live in her parents home. Every day, I slept until ten o'clock in the morning to get up, cook a big bowl of noodles, mercilessly fill his abdomen, and then go out Do not eat anything during the day, and to 7:00 pm, I Two meals a day to eat, never the exception. I Internet content is very complicated, read the news, visiting the forums, or playing games. If money online, I would to a person alone in a remote place, sat quietly trance - this is my In short, I would escape people's attention, and all acquaintances play During this time all of my income comes from his wife and brother. Wife in a state-owned transport company parking lot at work, one thousand yuan a month income. I am always a month for manifold reasons wives to a thirty-two hundred dollars, if occasionally ran into my wife feel good, you can be more than a hundred dollars. Brother opened a The so-called company, will spend 600 yuan a rented office, there is no product, no staff, neither even a business prerogative. I have this All of our revenue comes from his brother to help people repair computers, aged fifty to earn a monthly elementary no money left. However, whenever I talk to my brother for money, when his brother always try to meet. My overhead is very simple, the monthly cost of Internet access, two dollars a pack a day smoke, occasionally a few dollars to buy football stamps. If you run into him more money left, I will find a few people who know the community 'fight Landlords. I take it blocked the chasm. I have a son, but I am basically not very tube, her parents are retired at home to help take care of. Son, I will bear some of the spend, usually playing cards to win money, to buy milk immediately. This is my life the past few years, is the poorest I have some time. Many times, I have them in a desperate anxiety, can not imagine my future.
Why am I the first part of
poor?
2005 年 8 Tuesday 2 overcast
I think my penury is a gradual process, which is about my upbringing. I was born in 1975 in a remote rural areas, there are three sisters and a small I-year-old brother. Read a college, I would be home only intellectuals, because the three sisters have read only a primary school, while his brother is also read-only high school for a year. After graduating from college, I entered a state-owned corporations to work. The following year, bankruptcy, and I suddenly became homeless, was the starting of my working vocation. I think I only work half the time, the other half is looking for work. Then it was very poor, but because juvenile, I still wish for the future, always felt he was a good time people. In 1997, I came to C City, first working in a mechanism and electronics companies, and later after several conversion, three years after the successful entry into a public company, and served as a branch of the company's general manager. This is my working career, a position which fared the best, but the income of the general, known as yearly salary of $ 80,000, in fact one year, I only keep more than 20,000 yuan. First, I spend generous on the other hand, a lot of expenses the company shall not be reimbursed. In listed companies, which more than a year,Puma Shoes Australia, I found a girlfriend, she is a subordinate introduced. Shortly after my departure from the company, will use much of the deposits and marital her. Her name is Zhou Yuan, four years younger than I am, the city only child, family conditions fairly well, which makes her some spoiled, some insufferably proud, but she was either talking or doing things, not the point total drip, case in point, could have been said east of things, two sentences later it may be side-tracked to the west. Nazhen newly married kid, the problems I for her proboscis, even a good idea of ​​transforming her, but as my situation was dying, and she gradually loses challenge the clout. I decline from 2002, and then I just leave that listed companies. Secondary school students can do a small branch of listed companies charge, so I feel confident. At the same time, the job for my future significance is that when I can not find similar work, I will miss the job, and felt very lost. Anyone want Hunde Hao little bit, getting along better and better, but no one provided the latter than the sometime job on a certain good. I came out from the listed company, has talked to a few, but there is no comparative listed companies I work, my heart will feel some value plunges feel wastage of face. So, I'd rather not go to work, refused to placing him below, very false high definition. On the one hand can not find what you want to work on the other hand do not want their grievances, then waiting for my confidence slowly while away. So I finally could not help but ask for the time, only to find even a little bit of work times easy to find, so he had to await. This is a vicious surround. Finally, I inevitably reached a low point, until destitute. Therefore, a person Zoubei Yun, how unjust is not the fate, mostly disappointed with the breach between ideal and reality, reasoned by low self-esteem. Until now, I have been desperate to find a good job, like bottom of the frog has been cooked up weakly. People at the base when the heart is always a lot of grievances. So I do not see who is pleasant to the eye, could not find anybody on their own, so do not contact anyone, mantled themselves tightly. Around my own, erected a thick wall, which is completely my own earth. I became a loner, do not care about other people, and no one to care about my day, quiet, live like air.
first part of the no action, it will always be meager
2005 年 8 Tuesday, 30 cloudy
this month, is the hottest day of Super Girl. During this time my life is very regular, every morning after breakfast, I will come to Internet cafes, super woman cared about the process. At night, I will reserve looking in front of the TV gossip about the super-woman. Although I am down and out, but since that was a logical person, super-woman relationship and I have not a cent, because of Malaise, I did add in the amusement. In fact, a lot of things comprised with the boring, and when you are engaged, you will have Xianxin caring thing? I am bored, so I partake. Tate's husband a baby, doing nothing all day, watching over chasing women, say it will be a joke, but I am not tall up, I just want to pass the time. Nothing like a person walking down the street and saw some people fight, they stand on the corner of watch, at intervals advise about helicopter, remark on who is in the performance to express themselves. I think Super Girl is such a mentality. Gradually, I actually fell in adore with this hearing. This interesting than watching a TV sequence, screenplay result is fixed, but the sequel of this procedure can be changed. As long as you send text messages, it is likely to alteration the results, knowing that is misappropriating. During this time, I have been reading posts in the bar top posts, and one actor for the generous contribution of 15 messages. 15 messages is 15 dollars ah! This is my money a week of smoke, but I do not feel a little compassion, because the 15 dollars I expressed my thoughts. Expression there will be a pleasure, everybody wants someone to listen to their views, reflect about their existence, but I have not found a confidant of. Nothing of the little people like me, the dog does not love pigs too, who Xianxin to listen to you meander? So, I only spend money talk, called the poor happy. Super Girl compete is over, but I did not prosperity from the super-woman out. Every day, I'm still wandering the Internet, every now and then to glue it to see the super-woman news. I was very envious of them. If those are the elemental Super Girl pheasant, then a few months time, they have become a golden phoenix. This also led to some of my thinking, a person is not too far from successful, may only need a few months time. I right? It should be said, is often an ideological shift from a touch event may be small. Super woman like me to send a touch, and this is the only woman I see super gains. I decided to elect ourselves up, plan a appropriate way. In fact, I never stopped to consider the future, but I think much more, do less. My lack of mobility. This time, I decided to take action. Golden Phoenix became like those super-woman, as they do not sing well, but they try, and to act, and this is the basis of their success. So I have action.
2005 年 9 cloudy Thursday 1
My first step is deed
ring network. Is not no longer online, but not into the Internet. Internet is a place to pass the time, a silly people into the coffeehouse, it will become interesting to boring; same time, the Internet is a place where teens and animation swallow, is a place for collective fall, when your hands touched the mouse when you mouse has been defeated. Ring network to make this decision is the moment thing, but today after getting up, I unwittingly came to the cafe door to door until suddenly thought, I have decided to leave the web. Deterred for a long time, struggling for a long time, I finally reluctantly left. Addiction, better than smokers quit.
2005 年 9 月 cloudy overcast on Tuesday, 6
I decided to find a job, even now it is also just missed the line, first practice your hand. Went several times to the artist market, I found myself really unfashionable. First, I do not have professional technology; Secondly, I did not perfect diploma. I want to find a little bit of relatively cheap requirements, such as sales and the like, but most of the recruitment of sales elements are necessitated to the age of 30 years of age. A job for people who, 30 years old, what if you have no expertise, it really is an old man.
2005 年 9 Thursday, 8 February overcast
today, I saw a unit sales staff recruitment, job posting with the words I looked good recruiter while children, took me to fill the table taking a closer look, I finally returned to the table. I have some willing, hard to sell myself to the recruitment of staff, and the insolence to say that I had worked as general manager, have some experience. Recruiters is a small young, he hesitated to ask: than this age. I was from now on faint, can I really that old you look? I showed him the ID card would have wanted a look, I am afraid he suspected deceit in the ID card. Oh, forget it. I find time on a trip to the bathroom, look in the mirror the right look left, found himself looks really old. Instead of the old, very haggard, the temples do not know when to grow up surrounded a few white cilia, showing the vicissitudes of the years. However, I was 30 years old ah. It seems that these years, my constant anxiety, which have all been recorded of a face. Talent market, where talent is the meta, I am not person, so I will not go.
first part of the fictitious September 12, 2005 Monday, overcast
Although I was decisive to change the instant situation, but it is only determined only. I like a headless flies, flying savage guesses, impatient to find the opportunity every day, doing nothing but waiting for the arrival of the next day, that a new day a miracle will happen. However, remains the same, there is no marvel.
2005 年 9 Tuesday 1/13/2004 somber to cloudy
today, Zhou Yuan, a distant comparative to the house to play, I wanted Bierbuxian, but can not find causative, they bite the bullet and talk with him. I told him to talk of the town, when he bought a car slag, slag site to help some of the earth. But he look bad business, the business is not too large. I am wondering can go to contract some of the sediment transport operations, and then he contracted transport, in the middle to eat a little difference. This is equivalent to a broker, fictitious. I have this idea that the time to listen to the talk of the town, talk of the town alleged that no problem, but accented that this business is not good to do, I have enough cerebral preparation. If in the past, when I'm sure when I will be a line of thought cautiously, and then hope foolproof operation, the results when I want a thorough, or opportunity lost, or grew speed up afraid, and afterward achieve nothing. This time, just-do, the first dry up again, anyway, my idle is sleepy. I gave my brother called and said I want to go to work to the company. Brother certainly agreed. Thus, after three years of wandering I finally began to Now I really go to work, though almost as before, but I feel very at ease. In other words, if someone meddlesome, asked me exactly where to go to work, I do not have to cover it.
2005 年 9 Thursday May 15 cloudy
these days, I was sitting in the Phone apt play more slowly know, in truth, entire real possession companies are doing the filthy favor me: fictitious. Construction apt ascertain construction companies, seeing because walls elaboration decoration companies, real estate company's role is left to take money from the hands of consumers, then the right hand to disburse the relevant contracting company, dine a lot of money in the navel of this distinction. A tel shriek the doing, or eventually ascertain human, or people have been narrow-minded to transport sediment out.
2005 年 10 Wednesday, 12 May cloudy to sunny
been nearly a month, and complained that today's younger brother, I am very concerned about his brother's counsel, once and for all, this is a man by his support, my brother, four years younger than I am relying on the younger brother of life. But there is no other way I can choose, but also think this is the good way. I decided to go directly to the site that links earth and stone business. In fact, this means I thought the beginning, but to the site to the car, I was often the bag not even must take 10 dollars. Besides, one day it can run several sites? Often find his brother money, I really timid away from prologue. But now, I can only case. Once again, I drew the road to his brother's prospects, and that is what we made money two brothers split, I hope he will support me. Brother may have seen this prospect, collected 200 dollars to me. I spent 10 yuan a box of printed business card on the unit name is taken casually, called certain sediment transport team, I was business contacts. I am determined to use this 200 yuan of funds to contract first business.
2005 年 10 clear Monday, 17 October
Heaven live righteously. Running out of asset in the 200 today, I really received a first sediment transport operations. This is a educate site, and manufacturers say I have given 200 yuan a car, I hear his relatives contracted to Zhou Yuan is 190 dollars per car, the site takes about five vehicles (vehicles systematized by the speak of the town, per car per He smoked 2 times the wage of dollars) per vehicle running ten times a day,Puma First Round, one month can be expected to pull the residue was finished. I budget a bit, I have about this business acquire more than ten thousand dollars. More than ten thousand, and now, the lowest point in my life, I would have been unthinkable. Business day on set, I made an exception and bought a pack of cigarettes 8 dollars catered for congratulations. 8 dollars and two dollars of cigarette smoke likened to pumping up and do a little more cozy. This good news will be the first time I told my brother. Brother is also very merry because I am from the country since his brother was taken to city C, he has never earned so much money. Night, my brother and his rental of two fried dishes, bought a bottle of wine, drinkin planning our future. I want this site to the same educate, go to links to other sites, coiling development. As for transport vehicles, I amuse hear his aid to find, anyway, he can behalf. If successful, we can in a relatively short duration of time the first pledge a house, our parents received the city from the countryside to live. I came out so numerous years, never dared thought about buying a house. I did not have a house, no money, we are relatives to the city to the countryside, we either Bierbuxian, or simply amuse on the outside look. We are relatives in the country, but that we fared very well in the city.
The first part of the money and make money

2005 年 10 Wednesday, 19 Partly cloudy
Today, the site started in season, but encountered two problems: First, the site of the contractors do not want to advance the oil money. Talk of the town before they engaged in transport by the rules, vehicle approach, the site had to first pay a part of the oil money, transportation costs settlement days or half time. Contractors for I do not know, afraid I take the money and play Second, the infighting. Old Lee kas long asI received when a car is $ 200, but only 190 yuan a pouch to his car, every white trips I make 10 dollars, he was reluctant. The first problem is not tough to solve, I have the good with the contractors, and to permit a copy of each vehicle driving left him and let him to ask, will not think I was a liar. The key is the second problem. I had to hear his say Well, I help I contact the business to make money; the same time, he brought the car, he can paint 2 dollars per vehicle trips. But at the last minute, but he refused. He did not want to sit around to see my white earned more than ten thousand dollars. I had to make concessions, make trips every two dollars given to him, he quit. I would give,Pumas, five, he quit. In the talk of the town appears to me nothing out, but earned a lot, he can not diagram out. There is a man of this world, my heart to see others make money is not comfortable, see other people undergo from poverty, like heart is like drinking honey, and replaced with slang is Lao Li is such a person. Finally, the talk of the town I made 3000 dollars, by his straight docking site contractors. I agree, but he had first proposed the 3,000 dollars to me. He also agreed. He and I went to the bank to retreat money to the bank, he said the card had only 2500. I laughed, two thousand five hundred to two thousand five hundred. For me in 2005, one million are large sums of money, two thousand five hundred is the large sums of money. This is the 2002 to the present, the first money I earned. This is 2500 yuan to 1500 yuan my brother kept detach, in addition to his son to buy the remaining milk, the rest as funding for transport operations to contact me. Through this cooperation and talk of the town, I fulfilled he was not a person who can cooperate, but I also have a crop, that is, I know a few like him to run sediment transport owners. Their car, sediment transport is my team's car.
2005 年 10 cloudy Thursday, 20 October
Contact
I started to run a transport business. Who the money is naturally a very comfortable thing. I am no longer worried that I did not fare, and also no longer as careful calculation of the bus lines of the. I am confident that there are many opportunities in this industry. In fact, every industry, there is the opportunity to see you will not find. And to find such opportunities, you only need to find two people: one is to spend money on that person, another person is to make money. You, they are in the middle of the bridge is: from the bridge over, leaving the money from. However, I obviously had some too confident. My understanding of sediment transport operations more in-depth, the more I think this bowl of rice is not tasteful. In fact, the sediment transport business is not as good as imagined contact. General contractors have their own fixed-site transport partners, I want to take the business, unless the lower price than others. And the price is low, the owner is not willing to pull. I talked about several pen business, are consumed because of the price eventually. It seems that I can make that amount before the business, in addition to some luck, but by the 无知者无畏 bravery.
first part of the opponents have resources, I do not have (1)
2005 年 11 月 Sunday, 20 cloudy
month later, I was not proficient to contact a business, and spent all his money, have long been accustomed to the cleaners. This morn, I take the bus to pass by Riverside Road,Puma Australia, I saw a site on the Mid-Levels, there are two excavators excavating, but did not see the transport vehicles. Intuition tells me there are opportunities for sediment transport, and I now got out,Puma Running Shoes, walked toward the Mid-Levels on the site. The site looks very close, in fact, a great to be around a kneel to get to, no vehicle, I walked down the simple road full wade more than an hour before. I excavated taint to a site asking the main machine contractors, excavators main told me so, that afternoon will be the general contractors to the site. I sat on a rock next to the site, watching the excavator main Some lazy autumn sun, I sat listlessly, waiting for the stone. Afternoon, and finally there is a pearly Toyota sedan pulled up along the simple road, got out of two people, they sandwiched briefcase walked toward the bureau next to the site. I immediately trotted to emulate them into the bureau, handed respectfully to the two business cards, memorandum is to contact the transmission business. One male wearing a jacket with 4 pockets, he looked at me vigilant, said impatiently, sediment transport has long been on a good and told me to leave quickly. This is what I constantly encounter the results expected, I casually asked him where the residue field, how much money a car. He said that 180 dollars a car, residue field not implemented. I was dissatisfied to exit the bureau, suddenly thought a move: no implementation of the residue field, how will amounts? Under my heart sharp, this time is experiencing a peer. During this time sediment transport by contacting the business, I found and I do the same work are in fact many. No marvel, empty-handed shift, use someone else's resources, make their own money, not just one person I want. Well I was going to bring ... to an end, but think of this companion look nauseating, especially his waved me out of the air, as if he is a fatigue contractor, as I am resolved to fight a fight with him. I stood on the edge of the site office, mused how to conquer this business. According to this time I ran the site experience, this site should not compact out transport operations, but also the sight of things, which brokers like me, it is a become should go all out. Was preoccupied, I saw a sport utility vehicle to the site office directly open the door, got out a fat middle-aged. Intuition told me that this is the real labor contractor, I quickly followed inside. Which the two men to labor contractor is being handed business cards, four pocket jacket contractors to introduce another person: I am also with them, please I am seated. Four pocket, said: Contractors smiled, so I went outside, and so on, back and talk to me about. I had to back out, and thought: Ye Hao, may not be the first to talk about than to talk about after the advantage. In addition to the voice of excavators, the site is actually relatively calm, three of them in the house of the chat was outside, I overheard a coarse, Yue Ting my heart more than the taste. Learned from their chat that the skipper is in charge of the Chen's Urban Area decree enforcement team captain; and that four pocket, Chen captain friend. Familiar with sediment transport business people should know thaturban construction site of a decree enforcement team what it manner. If the site does not and good narrations with these people, out of a car fine you a car - there is no residue to the dregs of the car? And this surnamed Chen, is a fine which specifically acts to dry. I used to run the site at the time, heard a lot of people privately contact Urban sediment transport, and today I finally saw a real-life examples.
first part of the opponents have resources, I do not have (2)
listen to go has no meaning, but at all times the price points, I can not win this business come. Originally, I want to fight a fight and they did not expect not fight, I defeated. I had a legendary resources. I suddenly remembered a few days ago on another site, earth boss and I have reached a accordance on the price, but the next day he was higher than the price I contracted another person. It appears that this in the hands of those who hold resources in each site there are more or less. I walked back down the easy road, my heart suddenly books to be finished, the body sweating fly. Do I stop here on the sediment transport operations? I thought I found a good road to riches, but just the road, I saw the front of a die end. I felt extreme fear for the future. Looked at the time, had four in the afternoon, and today can only be the case. I simply find a piece of stone in the street, sat down to recess. My unconscious mind in a chaotic state, except fall butme anxiety, but can not say what the want. Phone suddenly rang, I looked at the mathematics, the mother called, I immediately hang up, then back in the past. Mother asked me Zuosha Zi, I thought, that just and customers talking about the thing, all right. Mother on the call some lie, I mean to hear, and she had some money. I said: The original set sold for about piglet back to people, but his family has urgently had to come to you. Linked to his mother's call, I quickly called to his brother, his mother Meeting 1000 dollars back. Brother says he is only there a total of more than three dollars, and this month conservation business is bad, and it gets me to lose all his money into the 1500. I thought, the brother said: Previously, my mother on the call, would ask her if she need the money, his mother always say lack of. Ask much, they know the mother will not come to us for money, she want us to put money in the hands of their careers. So sometimes even now no money, I would masquerade to give generous to his mother to send money, anyway, kas long asshe will refuse. If not encounter difficulties, the mother will not take the initiative to ask me for money. But as sons, the mother needed help when I can not do anything, the crime, people no security. We were five siblings, three sisters have married, not married brother. By the rural point of view, married the daughter out, spilled water, three sisters are Old brother younger than me, was not any book read Han, almost, the eyes of my mother became the mainstay. But she did not know I was so down and out of this pillar, and even promised to give her money filial Minato lacking. In her memories, I comesintoseffect that listed companies after the brother and associate, opened the company. She also believes that the company who is rich, so she always told me those neighbors in his hometown, said: I want to say I fared poorly on the mother, but I really open my mouth. Mother sixties, I did not want her to worry about. In the simple stone on the side of the road, I silently sat down after dark.
first part if I Hunde Hao, home is not now so (1)
2005 年 11 Tuesday, 22 October overcast with light rain
evening, I dragged his tired body back to The cause why the Zhou Yuan is a city, I, a national of rustic people,Puma Future Cat GT, habits, amounts, alter. These can still scamper, but because I did not apartment, the father had lingering home, I became the de facto home-law. If I Hunde Hao, and dad I can be a human laughing, the psychological advantage will work. But I feed well. Zhou Yuan marry me, I did not room in addition to the other still, a dad who does not clutch anything opposition me. I fared well, they will disdain me? I always felt I was being light to see. No communication among us, come back out, like the ventilation out. They are from, but inquire me to do. Do not ask, maybe an opinion. Many a night, sleeping in the Zhou Yuan and his son, when I was in the living room smoking, one out of a cigarette off tell me sleepless. I think my hereafter, I'm sure my hereafter is not a dream, but it's actually about a group of disarray mess. I also want my wedding and Zhou Yuan, even although I fared aggravate, Zhou Yuan also did not mean anything against me, but I think I did not get her enough to understand. For instance, sometimes I absence a mini comfort, I feel I am not alone, and I stand there, but she did not. She could not do that. She is best at, is to make the city a woman's small temper, rapid, and you anger. You do not expect her to come into your heart, understand your difficulties. Therefore, in this house, I did not understand the feeling of the crew, anything, carrying all my own. I was alone. A matron labeled Ginger is a friend of my mom before, now is an assurance company bookkeeper. I truly obnoxious for selling warranty. The salesman feels like MLM training received, the insurance benefits of hype. I think any business by bragging Pilar, not excellent touch. So I'm just a courtesy hi, ready to work inside house. However, the surname Jiang woman stopped me, she told me, Zhou Yuan, and mom call the shots, the first 2 days to purchase my son two mini schooling, insurance, a more than eighteen hundred yuan, two is more than three thousand yuan , had to pay every year, today is to mail an receipt to the. I was startled, instinctively replied: To buy his son and my insurance does not argue why money on me directly to? I am a little sullen, but a woman's face in front of the surname Jiang, I can not mention anything, just that I no money today, variant day to give her. Woman left the surname Jiang, Zhou Yuan called me to the bedroom, asked her son to buy insurance, why not argue with me. Zhou Yuan said: This person is selling insurance son grandmother's friends, but not an outsider, what can not trust it? I can not discredit the mother's friends, right? I said: , and we temporarily do not buy, and other conditions little better to say. Sleepwalk owe $ 3,000 on the account, I was very depressed. But always owe a debt to compensate, I began to fret about this $ 3,000 bonus. Zhou Yuan and I surely could not take so much money, the only way is to borrow someone else. To be frank, although I do not ye fared, but not to borrow money habits, this is my last self-esteem.
first chapter if I Hunde Hao, home is not now so (2)
I am poor, you can look down on me; you rich, but I guarantee you borrow it? No, we are equal. In fact, I have no place to borrow, before talk of a cluster of friends, has been a long time no contact, we can not find the door to borrow it. If so, how would people see? A few loved ones do? I shook my head. Three sisters in rural areas, had borne in the days of Baba. Besides, in their eyes, I should be considered rich, off they did not borrow money to find the truth. Even via, not only by the 3000 dollars, in the eyes of rural people, 3000 dollars have not a large number, can I have 3000 dollars even this difference? Feel a little small looking, looking forward to the mother to help us pay the premium. After all, insurance policies and this matter, my mother played a leading role. If she knew my situation, but urged to buy insurance, then mean that she wanted to help pay? This is a disgraceful idea, but I have to admit, I have such expectations. I used to have money to buy milk for his son when the mother is not also help pay for it? Although the premium so I worry about, but not to the point of constant worry.
2005 年 12 cloudy Thursday 1
surname Jiang woman came to me once the money should I not happened to no money on the body as an excuse to tarry. But I can not always excuse to delay. Several times, I find her mother prepared to permit Yuan Zhou help out, but ultimately did not say it. I think I have enough of a drag Zhou Yuan, and though I've never borrowed money from parents to find Zhou Yuan, but did not have a good time to pay for their living expenses, and they never squeak through sound. So, if they do not take the initiative to help me, they made me embarrassed to need help. I do not know is not my psychological, since I owed the woman's surname Jiang premiums in the next, and Zhou Yuan a person to get along, we had less communication between the air was filled with some of the awkward air . Once, my son asked me: I felt I was losing something, at least, is losing Zhou Yuan one pair of my patience. Two days later, my mother received the phone on the bus, she said a woman and took the surname Jiang premiums come. I think it can not go on the arrears, he attempted to ask my mother to help me advance if the first bit, so I give her money back. No reply, phone has been silent to hang up. I feel my last little face is carried by the wind, do not reproach anyone, Zhiyuan he was too incompetent. I began to consider the relationship between me and Zhou Yuan. Married for five years, five years ago, I did not bring any hope Zhou Yuan. Also fills the first two years, especially in the past three years, life's day as a day. Zhou Yuan mouth and her parents did not say anything, but the heart of the disappointment has been revealed. In fact, they have revealed their attitude. In my time of hardship, they have not expressed dissatisfaction with me, which in itself is an attitude; and buy insurance at his son's things, but also an attitude. I have been marginalized, although I never had the core. I forsook it? Do not know, the initiative is not me. Like me, you even can not fared people, but also to clutch the initiative in marriage? Only son, I worried. I do not want her son to grow up in a single-parent families, whether he is with me or with Zhou Yuan, will stay in his young heart trauma. But what do? A lot of things, the bear had to bear. I think my brother lived there fknow next to nothing ofme time, one can temporarily lest the embarrassment of money to pay the premium; Also, I wanted to stay out of such a empty period of time, take a look at the future direction of me and Zhou Yuan. I sent a text message to Zhou Yuan, told her that I very bad economic situation, temporarily unable to pay the premiums, I will not have time to go home, when I go home I will bring back his son's insurance premium. Zhou Yuan did not return messages.
first part of the body is rich in chief
2005 年 12 月 Wednesday 28 overcast
I still walk the site at all between the earth, day and night bustle. Hope to get the business even though they know very slender, but my heart still has a trace of luxury, look inward to a pie heaven, immediately made a business, the first premium paid to say. No achieve. Some things can not you worked hard to achieve the objective. In these days, in order to save the fare, I basically walk the main street mart hungry to find a small bowl surface. Sometimes ate the money nor the small side, had also assured his brother for help.
2006 年 1 Friday, 20 June thunderstorm
I finally fell ill. Poverty and ill health, has always been the case. The medic said my liver harm due to labor, mandated me to hospital. Admitted to the hospital that night, I was under a critical condition notice. Hospital's money is my brother around to find someone to borrow. He gives the repair a computer, make some friends, in my most critical moments, those of his friends came to the emancipate. In addition to his brother, I can not find people to help me. I lay in a hospital bed, watching the flow drop by drop medicine into the body, the heart actually incomparably easier. We often will get sick as an excuse to stall driven a someone or something that we, that we had originally planned, but the ailment can not be honored, the coerce majeure to fight for every other's understanding, to gain breath opportunities. I loosened in the hospital, on with this attitude. During the day his brother to work at night, he is on my bedside support a piece of wood, leaning against the bed to meet one night. Chinese New Year approaching the coldest climate of the year, although there are air-conditioned room, my brother still shivering. I call him several times not to come at night, but still insisted to stay with my brother, I have a fear of an accident is about it. I am fearful of boring his brother in the hospital, one night he also clients of a laptop to the hospital to educate me to play the game. Brotherhood, like the taste of soda, fraught the room. In the hospital for more than a week, spend more than 6000 dollars, I had to leave the hospital. Hospital gives me the recluse, but we no longer pay no money. May borrow money where his brother are borrowed, he had called to give Zhou Yuan, was I difficult to stop. Zhou Yuan has done a lot for me, and I do not want to drag them. Leave the hospital, I rented room in his brother's resting, taking time every day. Brother busy inside and out, losing weight. According to doctor's orders, I can not off pills, so even though no longer hospitalized, but medicine is still a lot of expenses. A few days, my brother bought me a medicine not a living, he and I drank for two days of porridge. Until his brother to help people mend computers earn 70 dollars before they buy the flesh, to enhance the look of life. Younger brother I was four, which should be by my brother to care for this when he was, but now I have become a drag on him. Brother apparently feeble to continue, but he always put a gallant face in front of me, left alone to face the hardships of life. Of lesson, he sometimes complained in front of me a few, mainly that I did not treasure the opportunity to work in listed companies, it falls like this today. I always laugh. I understand his feelings now, but I can not say more comforting words. I recovered in about the same time, his brother several times hesitantly. I feel he wanted and what I say, but some say exports. Several times I asked him, Is there anything to discuss with me, he always said nothing, so I better say the disease. My body slowly up well, although the body still feels weak, but not affect the play has been. I asked my brother's busy, busy, busy so if I have help. This is a courtesy, I know I can not help what busy, which means my little mind. Brother said no, he was a man enough. I said: , his brother does not always say anything. In fact, I guess my brother want to say anything, just see my body was not his resume, would not say it. In my answering, my brother gave in to his mind: he wanted to split. I surmise this is the same. Separation of the sub-what? My brother and I shared property is a basket case Brother made a plan. He said the company's resources we share, rent from each half, if one is not inside the office, and that the other celebration alone to pay the lease. In addition, they have their own money, hard work. This means that his brother did not help my obligation, but while this is a fair and reasonable solution, I have no reason to disagree. I need not ask his brother to use our old office, if only, he would take a hire. In fact, before that, a younger brother who is in assuming the office of the rent, I do not as a I thought that, however I do not use this benefit office, I take half of the office rent. Maybe I do not pay rent to, but the accounts in my head to remember, by the time I have money, I will still on. Brother coincided. Separation is very simple and not complicated to imagine others. As a result, I share the company's debt of 1,200 yuan, and I was sick to spend $ 6,000 a total of 8,000 yuan debt. Life and necrosis of my brother, do not imagine the company's debt, while I was sick of money to him I take some, in fact, my debt is 5000 yuan. Separation of the end, I feel quite complex. Years ago, my brother graduated high school anyhow, I took him to the city C, the two brothers had every other; now future confusion, we must fly their own.
first part of the money in the direction where?
2006 年 1 dismal Friday, 27 October
Spring Festival is approaching. Today is the twelfth lunar month 28, I went back I have vicinity to an impasse, with nowhere to go. I and Zhou Yuan is no prim dispute of the subsistence of marriage, I have no other alternative but to choose to return I have a very long time, and Zhou Yuan did not encounter, and she saw me, looked very complicated. I had told Zhou Yuan said, when I go home I will take home premium, I eat their words. Zhou Yuan did not say the premium things, mother did not advert. I do not advert. Put what? In the absence of money.
2006 年 1 月 28 日 cloudy on Saturday, New Year's Eve
according to custom, New Year's Day, many relatives will come to Yuemu Jia, including Zhou Yuan brother of two tables, a table brother. My father-in-three siblings, but their descendant is exclusively daughter. Except me, their sister's husband are good. Because the first day to prepare meals, New Year's Eve busy that day, Zhou Yuan, and her parents in the pantry and out. I have several times thought go and help, my own father all to indicate a break. I feel I like a superfluous furniture, no matter where placed are not fitting, then, and his son in the living room watching TV - the same as the visitors. Mother suggested to Zhou Yuan went to buy me a suit of clothes, that all the New Year, my clothes still so old, said New Year weather, plan a good luck. I think of tomorrow to be perceptive to the guests, and my old clothes will be a Sha Fengjing. I admit I am very sensitive, since the decline of my situation, I had become very sensitive, and often other people's good aims as a donkey hepatopulmonary. This is about sorehead a common problem. Zhou Yuan gave me 300 dollars, I buy myself. I Na Zhaoqian, holding son's hands the street, imagine morrow, brisk scene. I can die like a dog who packed, but if someone asked about my career, how can I question? We are all business people, and I, but it is the most obvious piece of the sun shadow. Street festooned with lanterns and lights, festive scene, but I frosty. In a stalls selling fireworks, a son of Lai refused to go, I got from his son's temper, gave him 120 dollars to buy fireworks. Did not buy clothes, holding his son's little hand I returned home. At the door, I held the phone in the ear, pretending to aloud through the phone. I put the rest of the money back to Zhou Yuan, say I have an important friend came from Shanghai, and I want to talk about a partnership doing business things, I have to go immediately. Father-in-law have not said anything, they certainly do not want to know the views of those relatives I was - I am grateful they did not broach the lies. Zhou Yuan to the rest of which more than a hundred dollars into my hands again, I turned out the door. Son's wailing sound coming out from under the door, I gently hush tone.
2006 年 2 月 3 日 first month, sixth day Friday, overcast
Spring
few days I spent in my brother's rented room, the brother went back home. Brother to go, I asked him one thousand Reminder million, let him not put our quandary to tell their parents. Room with rice, a side, as well as oil. The mattress vibrate the desk, and a chipped together without the computer chassis, brother normally use it to see television. During the day, I basically lay in mattress watching television, peckish, and the next someone to eat noodles; night, I will be a person wandering in the street, watching the street gifted fireworks. Occasionally, I would assume that the son look like fireworks. Son shy, mostly Zhou Yuan in place, clapping her hands next to her son just laugh, right? This New Year, how many people and I like it? Mind lingering, I thought for the future. I thought about how rich, how I want to survive. Chinese New Year only a few days, if you want to survive, I finally get out of his brother's rental housing. I think I merged to such an amplitude, it really is fate? No, definitely not good enough of my own. Or, at a critical blunder when I had. I think I read the life of the watershed is that seminary, this so I can not go back. Read before college, I was a typical peasant, sunrise and sunset. Dull and numb, but very real. Even if I fared well, no one said anything, anyway, are rural people, naught getting forward good and wrong. After school, everything changed. As usual, after reading the book ought be Hunde Hao, and is a idiom, called up the stairs. If you do not have stairs, others you must bear the strange eyes: He read so many books, a quick mixture that? Remember, my colleagues and I joked: If I go back to farming after reading, it is certainly huge news, I bear, my family can not stand. So, if some people think that you getting along fine, you must mingle well. In many cases, people do not live for themselves.
first part of the comparison and migrant workers (1)
2006 年 2 月 7 日 first month, tenth day Tuesday cloudy
later New Year day at daytime, I panic an day at a mushroom. Chinese New Year has given me an equal manipulation, namely is, we all stopped moving ahead, are letting their slothful. After the Spring Festival, we ambition be behind aboard the road, my road where? Sediment transport I tin not do it anew, at least immediately can not press on the. As my understanding of sediment transport, I understand it is not palatable bowl of rice. Although I dragged off the affair, but I can not use the accident to portend the success of prerequisite. The maximum momentous object is that I do not have the ability to aid business to the next site to come. I have no money, not location even to lend money, before you can scarcely rely on what his sibling and Zhou Yuan. Now I can not, premier, they had no money; Second, even now they have money, I open my mouth. In adding, the ailment is not very nice after my body, always emotion inadequate. Money, the body is not agreeable, and even the intention of money are not, I despair of life. I feel very dismal, merely I have to live, for themselves and for my family, but also for a man's birthright. How can we live it? To transform emigrant workers. I was shocked by his own mind. If, my agreeable neighbors who know me for migrant workers, what will happen to see me? But I presently ease. Except while the emigrant personnel, it seems that there is no additional solution. Alive is the last word. Previously, I would not feel the way people and migrant workers: I peruse the book people, migrant workers are uneducated, I despise, can not be associating with them. However, migrant workers have edible to eat, dress to dress, a smile on his face, and my heart there is truce, which I have? No, I do not like even the migrant workers. The yet less than the workers, and what fear while the migrant workers? So, I decided to become a migrant. I made this decision very tranquilize, like a balloon, I foretell it will be punctured, and now it eventually broke. Think of a good laugh, three years ago, I was still a listed company to go, people who like to die holding the money for salaries; three years after, I poor, determine to become a migrant worker. This is life, waves Valley, surging, no Yimapingchuan. I had been working in a small town, and later listened that metropolis C is relatively massive, opportunities, and I was single to C city. I clearly memorize while I first came to city C scenarios. I like a country bumpkin, like luggage carrying easy, look nigh dazed in the streets. Eventually spend ten dollars to live in a inn down, then began my journey C City of nightmares. Early C City, I do not know how to acquisition a foothold with the body absences the money, I do not have anybody fussy work, at the peak of there is work on the line, on the third day I found a job in one electronics company to do sales. This is a firm that sells motorcycle accessories electronics company, a aggregate of only a dozen people, including 6 in bargains, chiefly interlocked to the motorcycle aftermarket business, so that the Motorcycle store getting goods to us. Company to several of our sales staff provides sales missions, if completed, will have a commission. I fair felt the company into the company's conflict, mostly a few old people had strong views on the employer. They said the employer flip-flop, a intention anyhow, so you obtain some money. I arrived in the company, this industry is not versed with the morale of good work I enjoyed the goal, condense on my own work, even holidays, I too consider the work to do. This is not my particular devotion, but I am not familiar with the C mart, in addition to work, I can not find more ways to pass the time. As for the commission and additional proceeds narrated to things that I do not concern, but I think that since the initiative rests in the hands of others, it can only be fulfilled by somebody else's rules. What's the use complaining approximately it? Can only mushroom the psychological burden. I did three months in this company, notwithstanding the performance is not outstanding, but for the positive and work hard, still with his boss's believe. Soon, my employer took the initiative to addition wages, and designated me as sales director.
first part of the approximation and migrant workers (2)
I am a little flattered, I was just to mix to eat, and I did not expect so soon with his boss appreciated. View, where a person is not the most powerful ability, but that there is no prerequisite. When you're not fussy, there is no required time to show your talent is the most handsome of the time. Sales Manager in pith, is a salesman, but because of the heading, I do work harder, and more reassurance in my boss, effective everyone I was his boast forcible go-getters. Gradually, I have a decisive prestige in the industry, there are several large companies to call me, hope I could join their company. I did not go, although I did not earn any money, but I'm not the boss of the slender, every now and then act as advocates for me, I am very grateful to him. But I still go. Guangzhou City, a company set up an office in the C, unable to find the right person in charge, the boss's recommendation, I became the company's office in C City. My boss suggested this company for causative. Because the company is the boss of the supplier, he wanted me to give him when the office convenience. A total of five offices, the cardinal production of the aisle to do the construction contract has been signed by the shipping company directly. So the features of the Office is still the sales. This is a cherished U.S. poor. I still adhering to the company that I work in the original style: hard, due diligence. In the office, I met a lot of big motorcycle into the depot, but also access a number of big boss. I found that virtually all of the big boss have in common, that is menial, unassuming, good at listening to the views of others. On the contrary, better management, but like to keep up arrivals, everyone thinks they are in a pivotal location, as if the earth can not leave his corner. If you feel that others are good, and that he himself must be getting along fine; if you feel that others will not work, then he certainly fared no. In the process of dealing with these companies, I appear to find this law. During my tenure as Director of the Office for nearly a year later, our company is a listed company with industry procured. Acquisition news just came out, we are very afflicted person office, full of expectations, and fear of being excluded. I, too, but I apply the office staff persist to do work every day. I said, possibly we will be the current company laid off, but it can not be our reason to slack off, work hard, to adopt the selection of the fashionable company is the only way out. It sounds like cliches, but you can not veto this fact. After a while, I began to receive the fashionable company in charge of departments of the telephone, the Ministry of Personnel, but also business, and there seems to fill in endless fashions. I always try to meet, try to show. In the meantime, I went to open a new company will be, reported to the company vice chancellor in charge of office work. I did not accidentally show their abilities in front of these Laojiang Hu, performance capacity is a comic thing, you only need the sake of discussion on the line. There are two new workers to find a good place, resigned away. I also note that some of the jobs, because I feel that our office does not exist for long. I have thought about going back to the original landlord, where he and I's relationship has been preserved very well, if I want to go back, I think he will not nay. But I do not want to go back, water flows downwards with the flow, no one wants the more miscellaneous the better, rather than back to square one. A month later, I received a placard to our office and listed companies the city branch mingled in C, surprisingly, the company even announced that I led as general manager. I like that diploma is not high, people can became a listed company's mid-level, it is a great credit. I began some smug and confident that their ability is not bad. Became general manager, I feel more power, my role gradually exposed side easily. Should not stand by me many things, I ground the self-righteous attitude. This position more, they gradually feeble. Once I find a dealer advertising claims, a total of $ 30,000. I usually have great reassurance in the dealer, along to his report on the number to be reimbursed. Later, when the head sent to the inspect, have identified this advertising, I immediately into a corner. I do not trust the company has, and devoted staff to inspect all my expenses. I do not guarantee that every value of my expenses are reasonable, but I have a clear conscience. After the inspect, I was told that no major problems, so I was relieved. But I still was discharged on the grounds actually or allegedly false expenses. No wonder, like me, a small secondary school students, the company was not any backdrop, occasionally the opportunity to obtain such a situation, should have been walking on svelte ice, be careful to do everything, and gradually gain the trust of the company, but I am not sure opportunity to live, to become a ape to see that slaying chickens. Dismissed by a listed company for me is a big beat. Aura and glory faded in an immediate, from me into the trough. Three years later, I was back at the scene when the city came to C, no friends, no requirements, just mix to eat. But I can gradually rotate over it? Do not know, first do a good workers say