The best earthquake tweets

As you&rsquo;re probably aware, D.C. was rocked by a 5.9 earthquake: just serious enough that many evacuated buildings, but not serious enough to keep people from cracking jokes about it on Twitter. Here are some of the better ones: @pareene: &ldquo;I think Chris Christie just jumped into the race.&rdquo; @robdelaney: &ldquo;Did anyone I have a crush on&rsquo;s husband or boyfriend die in the earthquake? DM me.&rdquo; @ModeledBehavior: &ldquo;More and more <a href="http://newerahatstock.com/nfl-hats-c-18.html"><strong>nfl hats</strong></a> scientists are questioning whether that was a real quake. It is a theory that&rsquo;s out there.&rdquo; @snowed_in: &ldquo;Breaking: Carole King feels the earth move under her feet.&rdquo; @chashomans: &ldquo;I guess I better get an intern working on a &lsquo;Five Things You Didn&rsquo;t Know About the Mayan Serpent God&rsquo; listicle.&rdquo; @MichaelSLinden: &ldquo;US Geological Survey&rsquo;s budget was cut by some <a href="http://newerahatstock.com/bape-hat-c-10.html"><strong>bape hat</strong></a> 20 million this year. #justsaying&rdquo; @daveweigel: &ldquo;DEVELOPING: Earthquake turns Gallup offices upside down. Obama now at 62% approval&rdquo; @jdickerson: &ldquo;Everyone calm down. If this is an earthquake on the east coast we&rsquo;re supposed to react ironically.&rdquo; @balycooley: &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to die at a freelance job, for god&rsquo;s sake.&rdquo; @pattonoswalt: &ldquo;Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door.&rdquo; @samfbiddle: &ldquo;WAS IT PREMATURE TO DO ALL THAT LOOTING&rdquo; @politicoroger: &ldquo;We wouldn&rsquo;t be having earthquakes like this if Hillary were president.&rdquo; @TomFornelli: <a href="http://newerahatstock.com/monster-energy-hat-c-14.html"><strong>monster energy hat </strong></a> &ldquo;WOLF BLITZER IS ON THE PHONE WITH THE EARTHQUAKE.&rdquo; @davidfrum: &ldquo;DC public schools did not dismiss. The kids are tougher than Politico.&rdquo; And a few from us: @ezraklein: &ldquo;The Ocean&rsquo;s 13 team is presumably stealing something pretty valuable right now.&rdquo; @bradplumer: &ldquo;A nuclear reactor near epicenter of VA earthquake is designed to withstand a 5.9-6.1 quake: bit.ly/nVW1Tq We got 5.8&rdquo; @dylanmatt: &ldquo;In retrospect, I resorted to cannibalism rather fast after the earthquake.&rdquo;