a
often heard people say that this world exists only in the most pure friendship in childhood. This is a very sad case, actually there are so many people agree, life lonely and difficult, can be imagined. I do not agree with this sentence. Childhood friendship is pleasant Xixi, adults rely on memories of something additional to it is very real. Produce the true meaning of friendship in adulthood, it can not yet arrived when they get the best sense of the state.
fact, many people are feeling a particular mutation in friendship, suddenly found himself growing up. Like a day at noon or evening, a better student difficulties make you feel an inescapable responsibility to slow you down Worries and began to understand the weight of life. At this moment, you suddenly grow up.
I mutation occurred in the old. Secondary school examination from home to Shanghai, in the face of a strange city, the hearts of only a small friendly country, but could not find them. One day, bored to read comics in a small bookstall happened to see this one. Body like a hooded by a strange spell over and over again re-turned over, until dusk, the old man with a finger tube bookstall and knocked my shoulder, said he wanted to go home for dinner, and I only then the book together and respectfully in his hand.
that the comic is entitled:
pure adult stories, difficult to upgrade to simply confused,
dior sunglasses, allow me to completely comprehend. It is clear that, no matter how important you are in the future, there is always excitement in the day from the flight, boat Riding Alone, just with the mountain stream to the meeting. Goes far, and may encounter a person, like Woodman, like a hermit, like the passers-by, in between you and the mountain stream, just a few words to make you pale, cited as intimate life. However, Heaven can not tolerate such perfection, you're going to lose him, but will lose most of your life.
story is from the music to escorts, and then leads to thousands of miles alone, then leads to eternal soul mate, then leads to the broken lyre string fragments. Starting point of a silent, point to a silent ending, this is friendship. People can not use other words to express its lofty and Zhen Han, can only keep
day I do not know of course the story's status in Chinese culture, just friends that have been overshadowed by yesterday's small, no one can be regarded as I have not plucked out of a decent sound, how can the music? If the Concert, how could Sheque vast cloud water between the hard to find, happened to land on their side, their class? These questions, so the first time I seriously looked up the street and people look puzzled.
look almost exactly four years, has reached the age of Leaves everywhere. If someone asked me: Perhaps only say that I have not broken lyre.
I think, far more than I tough. In recent years, several seniors took part in the memorial service, noticed a detail: the middle of the elegiac couplet hanging in the hall often pen involving mountains and streams, but I know that the deceased author's feeling for the elegiac couplet is not the case. However, and what is the use? Ability of the dead just days after losing argue, in his summary of the ceremony where the only life, the friendship discourse bright black, too strong can not fix, so that all people attending the ceremony received bow.
When the lyre is impossible to snapping when Zhong Ziqi come, and more than one. Or noisy Yu Boya were all crying at the grave, that cry has become
not malicious, just misplaced. But the malicious can be subversive, but not dislocation, the dislocation is even more sad. Absurdity of life in many, the first is the friendship of the dislocation.
II
friendship dislocation, from our own confusion.
similar to that from the start at the start of the comic book, mind wander there is always music in the spiral strands, but naturally they could not understand aloof, like go with the flow, nothing sticking to face daily contacts. These two aspects are often difficult to balance, over time, ethereal music has been difficult to capture the excitement and people around bored, look for friendship in which side of the boat can not dock. Loss, the number of rare fate have been fleeting, and the relationship between a bunch of boring still in constant irrigation. You go to irrigation, it will grow, grow Mimicengceng, blotting out the sun, it had grown, such as Qiu Long, root, such as the net, can not blame it, it thought that contrast you, safeguarding you, loved you. The accumulation of decades, and it might have grown into one of their own, like the tropical rain forests in Southeast Asia, building and plant is common. No one would have thought that friendship from the beginning of hope for life, he was his friendship I do not know what congestion Dao people. Yasunari Kawabata suicide last words are We poured a little stubborn than he, as well as the opportunity to face congestion shouted loudly to himself: in the end you want?
to wait for our answer. The irony is, however, we do not answer most of their own. Can casually spit, are the early years of the teacher, the kind of elders, old writings had given voice. Fortunately, the fleeting, but also gives us another set of vague discourse system, we already know the answer to those arguments briefly.
, they say, friendship from the common cause. Elders like to use big words, said the cause is, in fact, professional. Occupational exposure to the same basis is it friendship? Of course not. If you occasionally have it, can not be upside down. How can emotion attached to Utility, friendship and how can we belong to a living, friends, how can we be limited to colleagues.
, they say, at home by their parents, go out to rely on friends. This argument not only shows the importance of friends, but also shows the value of a friend is to be relied on. However, no reliable and practical value can not be friends? All the people who helped you are not able to count as friends?
they said, Adversity friend, the fire of gold. This in turn presents a requirement for friendship, looking forward to it in times of crisis and time again. That there is good, but friendship is not a contingency reserve, friends, we should not be deliberately test. ... ...
Some unknown reason, we thought this lack of business friendship between peoples even less emphasis on the practical principles and the principle of exchange.
true friendship does not depend on anything. Does not depend on the cause of good and bad fortune and status, do not rely on experience, location and situation, it is utilitarian in nature, refusing to refuse ownership, refused to contract, it is echoed among the independent personality and confirmation. It made it alone but not lonely, there is another interpretation of the meaning of their own. So-called friends is just more comfortable with each other to make the other side of those who live.
thousands in the ancient and modern kind words about friendship, I am especially in favor of the English poet Hebard saying: I think that at least half of the world's friendship has been seeking is corrupt, even if the contents of the request is not a bad thing at first glance; friendship to share the grief, friendship to promote the work of ... ..., friendship has become a busy tools, its own what is it? The burden should be removable for the friendship, but also to friends, relaxed. Friends are friends, in addition, nothing.
fact, want nothing friend the most rare, may wish to close their eyes to try to find some friends one by one by deleting the last remaining few?
Li Bai and Du Fu's friendship, probably the history of Chinese culture than Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi outside of the most respected, but their interaction is so short. Acquaintance is too late, unless they are hasty farewell poems of Li Bai: Du sentimental after this has been in Li Bai's thoughts on being, no matter where they are living to write the memorable lines; Bai should also miss it, but he put up walking, making friends extensively, no longer in the name of Du Fu His poems appear. There seems there is a huge imbalance, but the world's most emotion is not to balance for the conditions. Even if no longer miss Bai, Du Fu also made a unilateral commitment to the good. Bai him nothing, he Li Bai also nothing.
want nothing profound friendship because, regardless of each other is balanced or unbalanced. Zhou Tao had a balanced description of the poet's profound: Before the end of my life, you do not arrive. Only for the last look at you I fall in here.
three
true friendship because they do not seek what does not rely on what were always pure and fragile. Lonely all the world also encountered friendship, but I do not know the identification and maintenance, one by one broken.
To prevent fragmentation, predecessors thought about many ways.
a more rigid approach is tied friendship, that is lasting. No matter how grand ceremony, how strong force, to help end the final analysis is still out of distrust of friendship stability, and therefore subject to heavy penalties to prevent a blood oath departure. Lasting friendship alienation as an organization to violence, coinciding with the original meaning of friendship free to diametrically opposed. I think that friendship had begun to degenerate once tied, because they are in between the people who have not distinguish the true number of partners from the heart, the number of rules from help. Not from the heart of the loyal friendship of course a lot of money, even from the heart of that part of the mass action wrapped in the paper what remains of the individual under the elements? And if they lose the personal, much less on the friendship? Swallowed a combination of all individual freedom will inevitably lead to large-scale killing each other, it is not difficult to understand, most of the history of Flag of the gang of high vertical friendship, friendship eventually become barren, and even bloody, neglected cemetery clumps.
a more flexible approach is to dilute the friendship. Similarly out of distrust of friendship stability, can only be used to seek extension of dilution. Do not let it condensed into an entity, it had also broken it? Afraid of all the promises can not be honored, so no promises; afraid of all the Fun Times can not continue, then met with no joy,
sunglasses 2011, only to smile and nod between maintaining the Yingyingchaochao. It was also the mysterious oriental art has borrowed to support this approach: it can be felt, not explained; vain word, Sophisticated; antelope hanging corner, no sign of that either ... ... this way, the friendship will become an ink freehand, Ruoyouruowu. However, things come to this, friendship and acquaintances, what is the difference? This is not so much to maintain, as it is choking, and dying without friendship is not friendship, which we all too well. On the street, an acquaintance led politely brought the mouth to us,
oakley sunglasses 2011, handing me a reserved smile too, why so bored that we would rather turn away a statue whereabouts shouted good morning? At the banquet, the guests put their hands in a friendly gesture, but in the phase of the finger grip Bengzhi occasion to show it lightly, and why it makes us sick, as well wait to the pool side of the hand wash a clean?
Another more popular way is to paste the friendship. Neither a clique, not pretending to be elegant,
dior sunglasses 2011, but a significant reduction in the standard friends, and expand the scope of friendship, sympathetic, and extensive cultivation Bo income. A great need for friendship,
chanel sunglasses 2011, not a large trust friendship, try to accumulate the number of Diju desolate. This is a very tiring thing, what an invitation should be accepted, which should just be a call response, which are afraid to offend a man, the result, which a friend did not regard him as a friend. Such a large network of contacts will inevitably lead to all kinds of trouble, he did not know how to stand, and no capacity for coordination, so often wandering eyes, tone flashes, ambiguous, neither side can not but be suspected, are undervalued. Most of the people is not so bad, do not do anything wrong, friends, the cracks appear to stick paste paste his friends, had a gap on his stick he pasted stickers, and ultimately his heart on this kind of friendship had a bitter confusion, other way, can only paste in their own sticky paste inside. Always smiling, always a hurry, but never find out: What is friendship?
strong strapping friendship, those who play down Ya friendship, friendship paste vulgar person, is to prevent broken friendship, but looks around, not a good way. Perhaps because, as these approaches are too dependent on technical means, technical means to enter the feelings of the field once the total to no good.
I think that in the field to guard against friendship, friendship itself is not broken, but the heterogeneity of the intrusion. Heterogeneity mentioned here, not referring to differences in the general sense, but to confront the fundamental sense, once the invasion would make the whole system to produce the primitive nature of friendship transformation, the consequences far more seriously damaged. Obviously, this is not a technical problem.
heterogeneous invasion, touched the field of an ontology of friendship paradox. Friendly by nature is the lack of defense mechanism, but the problem is precisely that at this point. Jizhongnongcha the sight, half the eve of that trail today, they met earlier, becomes a confidant, and the so-called friend should certainly be behind closed doors, before the words were not words, the inconvenience of daily spit spit, the more Yinhui The more intimate secret. If the upright is all about the great vernacular, how can I count as friends? If only the household chores, as a Private Street, long in short words, then how can I be counted as a man? Thus, it seems to be a natural freak room, and many do not want to touch under normal circumstances, people and events here twisted together. Proved, once twisted, very difficult to get rid of. Why the University of wisdom, who have very few call the visit of old friends finally became a traitor? Why do the entrepreneurs have never miscalculated a friend just to show just a little to be in jail? And more is, a wrong cross covered with fishy mess, a bad company Banshi involved, the one wrong step can lose chess. Have these consequences, many reasons, but there must be a reason for friendship and tolerance to the heterogeneous intrusion. Hearts have anxiety, but was worried off a distant friend, betrayed friendship drifted as a result, leading to friendship became ugly stick.
this more clear, Man can not prevent fragmentation of friendship as a goal. The broken it broken, but unfortunately not enough; Although no breakage was found inside with their quality of life of the noble serious ram Wu, have to do deal with fragmentation. Rodin said that, what is sculpture? That is, on the stone to remove those unwanted things. Our own sculptures, but also cutting out those alien force, but by friends to stick attached to the impurities. Not cutting off, there is no a bigger way of their own.
For me, the truth has long been clear that the lessons have also been subjected to a lot, but when things happen before, where the heterogeneity is still difficult to understand. Now the only way to do that when they hear the call of friendship, whether old or young, enthusiastic voice kind of sounds, If you have also heard vague whispers, breath smelled weird, I will quietly stop, do not forward again.
four
the broken our friendship is often binding, bonding with, rather than the broken friendship but often we crush. Both cases is a tragedy, but no broken friendship is so precious, it is even crush us personally, which is the conscience of humanity is almost fatal blow.
bring this sad topic, will appear before our eyes far and near a series of images of sorrow and grief. Human friendship the two tried to write a great writer, I do not know how many readers to comprehend the world the true meaning of mutual love, while they have the difficult years to each other, who want their friendship last years is completely broken. I have a long talk with one of them a decade ago, then sent word sentences of good literary master the cycle before in friendship only knew Fenran tell, completely losing the analysis. I was like,
sunglasses hut, the most difficult friendship between heaven and earth seems to really clear things. There are also two of the literary world with their predecessors, one is still my hometown, they have a thousand reasons to become friends are actually under the same banner becomes the enemy, have you without me, life and death struggle, affecting the ruling and opposition parties, the H spread far and wide, until the top of a disaster did not come, the two sides each have their enlightenment, but when they meet again, my hometown and the one who has entered the dying, two pairs of relatively dim old eyes may have been reading a Friend problem?
the same case, can cite tens of thousands.
reasons can be attributed to misunderstanding, which comes from the character, or attributed to history, but they are up to reasonable notice, conduct and noble character, why not ask, explain and coordinate it? Some of these barriers, say it like a trivial trivial in general, so why lock some of the magnificent soul? I admired predecessors, how you in the end matter?
tried to claim on these issues solutions might run through my life, because in my opinion, this fact is the solution in the cable life. Now barely able to answer is: friendship exchanges between the noble soul, but also may experience psychological trap.
example, another well-known because of the emotional impact of allergy.
too familiar with each other, taking no further shift the time of each other experience, but follow your own ideas to predict the expected result, produced a small difference on the very sensitive. This difference produced in under one common character, and invasion of distinct heterogeneity mentioned above; but in the sense, but because most of the common differences resulting from the extraordinary sensitivity, just as falling behind in the eyes into the sand. Wan Li Shaqiu he had tolerance, but can not be embedded in his body a little bit of something, he friends as his own. In fact, the world can there be two identical leaves, even if the two leaves affixed to a very tight? There was no difference between the preparation, regarded as a betrayal of difference, exaggerating the words to ask for correction. This is a two grievances, friendship and memories and make this grievance the added weight. The weight of the load can not come forward to correct this myself, both sides hurled the path of no return. Any re-friendship, and healthy people will have this anger, and only a small group of people are not angry, so an honest man who once fell into this psychological trap is often difficult to jump out. Noble soul swallowing not say the reasons for the small struggling in the trap.
Again, mutual trust and because of the psychological black box.
friends, what else can watch it? Based on an idea that many people put a lot of things about dealing with the friendship was crisp and silent. Not made of matter made of, nor explain, without instructions. One said to see, the one that is not the United States, the magic of friendship is like a boundless infrared detector, can all the hidden corners of the picture taken plainly. Unclear it does not matter, understanding is everything, friends always understand, do not understand still friends? However, when the inevitable finally misunderstandings arise, all original became unclear doubt, this is tantamount to a party suspected of injustice plus body; recourse to redress, his performance definitely abnormal, the abnormal only can give rise to greater suspicion, mutual friendship has become difficult to clean up immediately. Up to this point, the inertia of the trust so that they also openly speaks of humiliating tear, still in the dark to pass into the dark, being superimposed with the indignant indignant. This creates a black box psychological terror, friendship and winding the cable in the inside circle, laid one by one knot, forming a short, disastrous consequences are inevitable.
two psychological traps, allergy black box traps and pitfalls, most of them is coincident with the cross, and too clear and too much is not clear these two extremes, reinforce each other, each increasing distress, and change the situation for the enemy, become friends enemies, and all occurred between the good man, is hard to lament.
in several nights, I had repeated discussions with a number of psychological researchers a puzzle: why some people make friends was able to get back together a huge loss, just because some people say just two words while filling Friends never be able to forgive? Why are some experienced enemy was able to become friends after a long struggle, and some friends once, but after it as an enemy of discord?
I think the basic quality do not always find a cause from one of the key is, some of the psychological process disorder caused psychological trap.
I do not know to what extent we can avoid these traps, they always feel that more research is always a good thing. Wealth really belongs to the soul, will not be deprived of external forces, the only way to deprive it of the only mind their own faults, but spiritual problems will eventually be found in the power of the mind, analytical and treatment, not to mention we are talking about are noble mind.
five
said so much, may cause an impression of life in the world should have a true friendship easy at all.
fact, attributed to above, the problem lies precisely in the addition of human friendship too much to other things, the addition of too many obligations, the addition of too many impurities, but also because of the addition of too much intimate with to the shadows. If you can remove the add, everything will become easier.
friendship should expand the space of life, rather than narrowing the space. Unfortunately, the above paradox is that, friendship and practical look forward to our life very easy to narrow space, thus counter-productive.
to extend the life of the space, the final should be a broad power of love, this is the true original meaning of friendship. In this issue, consider seeking too much, but self-defeating.
As philosophers said, people were intelligent manufacturing all kinds of boundaries, because of love break through these boundaries. Barriers to friendship, wisdom is often excessive, and good wishes and love, beyond the barrier.
friendship is jumping the wings, but it itself will bear the heavy obstacles, so it is easily too easily when their human, when human beings are purifying purify themselves. The result should be two-phase perfection: when humans enjoy friendship in the most profound, the friendship itself is also access to the most fully realized.
now, even if we have a lot of friendship, it is still incomplete, due to our own but also incomplete. The world should give us more love, we should give more love the world, which in youth is a cautious look forward to the autumn of life, is still a cautious hope for. However, the fall in autumn, after all, life has to withstand frost, expecting been sprinkled with dew, such as the Maple Leaf Can desire friendship, but also begin to fall.
life passages of the next quarter will be stronger than the love of wisdom, or love is stronger than wisdom? Today is immature mind, the signal will be issued the number of friendship, the friendship will be how much moisture? This is a problem almost fatalistic, completely unable to rush to answer. Autumn we only wish pray. Mind blowing in the wind, a little chill.
reminds me of my distant friend wrote a sketch: two ants meet, just touched each other in the opposite direction Chuxu to climbing. After climbing for a long time suddenly felt sorry, in this vast space, the same size so small bump, But with the new open space, more of our small size, and when, but also met a few touches the tentacles of ants can be?
- and to look forward to the next generation, so that they Le Zizi to climbing.
of About Yu:
Yu, 1946 Health, Zhejiang Yuyao people. Finished primary school in his hometown after the secondary school and university in Shanghai, has stayed on to teach after graduation. History at home and abroad published more than monograph, has been awarded the
Recommended reviews: The reason the article recommended, because many of its ideas could inspire me, Actually, I think true friendship is a very natural feeling, everyone present in the surrounding crowd, our interdependence and mutual respect. Although usually the reason because of personality differences there are some bumps, but the conflicts in the past, we still be friends.
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