A year after Deepwater Horizon explosi dr dre beat

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(CNN) -- For some survivors of the Deepwater Horizon disaster, escaping the inferno of the doomed rig made them feel like they'd cheated death.

But living with the scars of what they witnessed that night, and the memory of the 11 men who perished when the rig exploded off the coast of Louisiana a year ago, has in many ways taken their lives away.

"I remember feeling invincible when it first happened. I remember driving in my truck on the way home after the rig exploded and (I) pushed the gas (pedal) to the floor and never let off it," says Daniel Barron.

But the high Barron felt from surviving didn't last long.

"You have that guilty conscience of, 'Okay, I made it, that's great, but then these guys didn't.' Was there something I could have done to save more people?"

Barron says his guilt is compounded by physical and mental issues that are a result of the disaster.

He suffers from memory loss, and has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, according to medical records provided to CNN.

He witnessed one of his good friends, whom he calls a "fallen brother," die right in front of him when a second explosion rocked the rig.

"It literally picked him up . . . like a child would throw a toy . . . and he ended up bouncing off of the pedestal for the crane," he told CNN's Anderson Cooper shortly after the disaster.

"Just to see him get blown up like that, I mean, it was, it's heart-wrenching," Barron said.

Barron says one night, the psychological pain and the guilt of surviving when so many friends did not, became overwhelming.

"I had a 6-shot pistol and I just wanted it to be over," he says.

His wife discovered him playing Russian roulette and persuaded him to hand over the gun before it was too late.

Douglas Brown, one of Barron's fellow survivors, also speaks of the guilt of surviving the disaster.

"I am thankful that I, I made it out alive but a lot of times, I don't -- there's a lot of times where I feel I should, I should have died there too, along with my friends," Brown said.

Like Barron, Brown has been diagnosed with multiple mental issues including PTSD, traumatic brain injury, depression and anxiety, according to medical records.

A third survivor, Matthew Jacobs, says he thinks of the 11 victims of the Deepwater Horizon every day and wakes up screaming from nightmares where he's re-living the explosions.

"It's something that I just can't quit, you know, get out of my head," he says.

Jacobs first told the story of his harrowing escape to Cooper in the weeks after the disaster. He expected to die as his lifeboat, which was being lowered 75 feet down from the rig, was filling with smoke and started to free-fall after another explosion.

"I prayed for my family to let God know that I love my wife and that I love my kids,dr dre beats," he said.

In the year since, Jacobs and his wife have started divorce proceedings because of his mental issues including, post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, he says.

Those mental issues are also corroborated by medical records provided to CNN.

All three survivors say their physical and mental injuries have left them unable to work and they're suing their employer Transocean for lost wages and pain and suffering.

While technically still employees, they have not set foot on a rig since the disaster and their employer stopped paying their salaries last December. They accuse Transocean of valuing profits over safety prior to the accident, and of valuing minimizing monetary losses over the welfare of its employees after it.

In a statement, Transocean responded to their allegations writing: "From the first hours, Transocean has focused on providing support for its employees and the families of those who were lost aboard the Deepwater Horizon, including continued full pay and benefits for eight months following the incident and professional counseling for those in need. Today, more than one third of the Deepwater Horizon crew are back to work at Transocean and the entire company continues to be inspired by their courage and commitment."

Transocean still pays for some of the three survivors' health care costs and gives them a small monthly stipend for room and board as required by law. The survivors were offered an additional six months of pay to drop any claims, but they declined, according to legal records provided to CNN.

On the anniversary of the disaster, the survivors say they hope to one day put the accident behind them but also hope people never forget the 11 men who died that night on the Deepwater Horizon.

"I would ask people just to remember them and pray for their families, because I know those families are still suffering," Brown says.
Watch Anderson Cooper 360° weeknights 10pm ET. For the latest from AC360° click here.
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22126548 2010 年 04 月 03 日 23:59 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (9) Category: cone ㄖ Bom
Xitang Maybe I really do not fit this place
to this place with great expectations only to find the difference and I feel much better
always feel this tranquil environment and I was so out of tune
small dream, and dreaming of the day has finally come where they are excited and thrilled not to say
Lao Gao
I tepid feelings seem to be coordinated with the fishes, but this town is ... ...
I have such a place on the town do not like, I like the bustling metropolitan city of fashion trends
start running account:
2010-4-2 Location: Huzhou bus station - Xitang
; Time: 10:20 -
; Event: Xitang Tour
; specific: full of emotion, 436 bedroom for the first time the collective travel. Got into a car, bumpy three hours, finally came to Xitang. Inn boss to pick us up, very warm, a small inn,tory burch sale, but the environment is very good. Put down our luggage, can not wait to go out to play. First find a place to eat, eat lunch braised eggplant, steamed double foul, there to burn dried fish-flavored pork bones, perhaps because they were hungry, eat particularly fast, eat food bare. Never played have not seen, feel particularly fresh, look east, west touch,,,, afternoon, eat tofu, eat maltose, recalled the next child, bought a lettering of the mobile phone chain, bought a handmade red rope ring, unconscious, has been very late in the first side of the world, four people eating a bowl of family portrait, a bowl of fish noodles burst Shansi, a bowl of beef noodles Shansi. Xitang Bar Street,tory burch shoes, it should be also very famous, sit inside the bar looking for a home, not the past earlier, not many people find Linhe seat. Four people, drink, play a sieve,tory burch flats, also quite feeling. Yes, we put a lotus lamp, very warm, a wish and let it float away with the water. . . Amidst the corridor is very busy, many people have a lot of selling snacks, bought octopus balls and lots, good food Oh, sit a moment, the wife took the menu out, sorry do not eat, to point out a Sauce screws, a lobster dish and a bowl of fermented rice balls, took four of them to get rid of that noise, and Mama Zui Ba went on, continue to eat, one bunch of Duck gizzard, meat eating bar. Nearly ten o'clock, went to Chile Dun barbecue,tory burch boots, my God, I feel we are a special trip to eat, ha ha. .
time :2010-4-3
Location: Xitang
event: play
specific: get up early, went to eat the famous deliberately small ravioli, business, oh well, wait for it, even a small wonton to 5 dollars a bowl, dough sticks to 2 dollars a really high price, 2 yuan, at home, can buy a basket of fried fritters of it, no way, away from home Well, the cold water also rose half, eat the food, and rare, go back to saving money. Xitang yesterday has basically been put on the street to take a stroll, and today has a little shake a little, approaching noon, went to the famous old Pin-fang, the results of that person, ah, it feels like to eat at Pizza Hut, as ah is scheduled to be the long queue, but also to get numbers. . . To really so good? Well,tory burch outlet, to have come, always taste your friends to wait. Until finally,tory burch reva, the point of a Chan Yi covered round, a cabbage, a salty fried eel and a chicken pot of soil paste, in fact, taste is not loud noise. . . Yesterday, it was said, Xitang, when the most popular are: children see ass, adults read back of the head, these words very interesting, of course, realistic thing. Gorgon bought cake, ask the boss how to get way, the boss said: see road to walk, see the bridge cross the bridge,,, fun, two days down, one by one and the squad leader has been so happy, so excited, I told Lao Gao, ha ha, a little less interested. Rarely come out to play, we can not disappointing thing ~ 13:45, rushed to the bus station in Jiaxing, the thinking about 2:05 to buy tickets Huzhou, the results did not, and can only buy tickets for 2:50, the bus station dry sat for an hour. . Better to go back soon. .
Wuzhen fun than Xitang
say, I really do not feel, I feel the same, no difference, for me, feeling all kind of boring, I always think I like that very fit. .
I feel the spirit of good
, ha ha, but no matter how good spirit to go to bed it still get up early tomorrow morning to go practice ~ cars do, sleep slightly, good night, although this rotten log points, but in the end and wrote a timely Ha ~