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Old 03-21-2011, 08:24 AM   #1
phonix6z7j
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Default 4 Keys to a Successful Partnership with the One Yo

However, when we partner "for life", a shift is supposed to happen. When you agree to share your life with someone through your marriage vows, you are theoretically becoming "one". This is what the Bible teaches. This is what Universal Law teaches. If you are one, decisions should be made and actions should be taken,UGG Roxy Tall, from that position as "one". There is no more, "What is best for me?" but rather, "What is best for us?" There is no more "I have to make myself happy," but rather, "What will make us happy?"
Key #4 - Self Last
A Lasting, Fulfilling, Relationship - The "Dynamic of Stay": 4 Keys to a Successful Partnership with the One You Love
Key #1 - God First
Now,UGG Bailey Button, I am not saying any of the above scenarios is always and absolutely "hopeless" either. What I am saying, is that if any of the above apply to your relationship, I strongly encourage you to find a professional you can trust with whom to discuss your particular situation because there are things that need to be addressed and "fixed" before the 4 Keys I am going to discuss below will be applicable for you.
Abuse (mental or physical) directed to the partner and/or children
All a woman wants is to know that you are going to be there no matter what. And no matter what means no matter what.
If you are tempted to doubt this right now,uggs shoes, I will step out on a limb and say that until you believe this to be true, your chances for a lifelong union are going to be slim. If your relationship lasts forever - if it demonstrates the "Dynamic of Stay", you will be the exception.
It is currently my honest belief that more people in the world are mystified regarding how to find - and keep love - than how to find and keep money. There was a time in my life I believed the opposite to be true. There was a day when I believed that "money" and "wealth" was the prevalent concern in the minds of most. I now believe I was wrong.
The reason for this is short and sweet. When partners allow themselves to be torn apart or divided by the wants, whims, and desires of their children, they have lost sight of Key #2 - Focus on the "We". This is not to say that loving and devoted couples will never disagree on the best decisions to make or actions to take regarding their children. It is to say you don't do that in front of the children. And you don't ever let it divide you to the point where you have lost sight of the importance of the "we" of the two of you. Thus, you make decisions about your children in private and then when those decisions are agreed upon, you present them as a united front and support one another in those decisions fully. Furthermore, you don't allow yourselves to get played against the other or to be persuaded to take an opposite stand or action than that which you agreed upon together.
Think about it this way...
The simple fact is: Those who get the "Dynamic of Stay" right very seldom "give up" on their partner or relationship and go on to live long, fulfilling, lives together. Those who get it wrong very often end up leaving and go on to repeat the cycle of finding love and then losing it over and over.
Right now even, many of you are likely thinking, "Yes...what is wrong with that? It's the truth, right?"
Substance dependency that is not actively being addressed by the dependent individual
The crux - or main point - to achieving this dynamic with your partner is understanding who - and what - takes priority in your lives and in what order. Additionally, both partners must be committed to understanding and fulfilling the necessary strategies to create the "Dynamic of Stay" as well. Thus, the ideal time to discuss these keys is before making the decision to partner forever with someone. However, it is never too late. Even in a struggling partnership or marriage, if both partners are really vested in making it work, discussing these keys - and agreeing to practice them and enact them in your lives from this point forward - could just be the glue you need to make it through whatever storm you are facing.
Okay,UGG Short Boots 2009, with that out of the way,UGG Classic Tall, what creates the "Dynamic of Stay" in our love relationships? It's really very simple. Throughout time, the greatest teachers have told us the answers many times over. Maybe we didn't pay attention. Maybe we just didn't want to hear the answers or we weren't ready. Regardless, we have always had these keys at our disposal. We just needed to open our eyes, open our ears, and open - and prepare - our heart to receive the answers and then do what we needed to do to make them work in our lives.
This is simple. Once you have entered into a lifelong union and made that commitment to your partner "forever", "for richer or poorer, sickness and in health", you live it. You do it. Even when it doesn't "feel good" or you don't "feel like it". Even when something better seems to come along or tempts you off your path. You think, "What would God do?" or "What is best for the 'we' that is 'us'?" or "How would this affect my children?" You stop thinking about what you want right now or what feels good at this moment and you think about the promises you have made and the priorities you agreed to when you made those promises. And then you do it. And you keep doing it. And pretty soon, the questions and temptations stop coming because you don't let them in. Or maybe they don't stop coming but you stop noticing. That is when the "Dynamic of Stay" has become a part of your life and the bond that will hold your love relationship together forever.
Before I begin to delve into the answer to this question, first, let us clarify that in order for the "Dynamic of Stay" to even be applicable, we have to be discussing a "good" relationship. In other words, a relationship that is fundamentally sound and where there are not major issues such as:
Whether they are yours, his/hers,UGG Classic Short, or someone else's altogether - children in a "good" relationship (see above for definition) should always come behind God and behind the "we". Unless we are discussing a situation where children are in mental or physical danger, their happiness and well-being should not ever be considered above that of your spouse/partner. Before this upsets some of you,UGG Upside, let me explain...
Key #2 - Your "We" Second
We are taught from the time we are little, often inadvertently and subconsciously, to look out for #1 - ourselves. Over and over we hear expressions like, "If you don't look out for yourself, no one else will." Or "No one else is responsible for your happiness but you."
Studies have shown that the majority of couples who "last" despite what life throws at them - those who "stay" - routinely credit God for being the focal point in their relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean they are in church every time the doors are open. This doesn't even mean that their God is the same as your God or my God. What it does mean is that they have a Supreme Being they feel accountable to and that accountability holds them in check throughout most - and in every area - of their lives. As such, their belief in "God" dictates how they think and behave, not only personally but also in their relationship with others. They also often feel that God has been faithful in his commitment to them and it is their responsibility to be faithful to their commitment to their partner in return. You know the saying "What Would Jesus Do? (WWJD)" I believe this became so popular because people with a strong faith do often ask themselves when faced with a tough decision, "What Would Jesus Do?" or "What Would God Do?" Thus, this usually results in a greater compassion and understanding for their partner. Instead of seeking to stay in anger and blame, they seek to forgive. Instead of seeking an "out", they seek something - anything - to make them stay "in".
I know some of you reading this might not agree with me and that's okay. I realize there are exceptions to this principle but they are just that - "exceptions" - and this has been proven over and over. Just like "winning the lottery" is sometimes the exception to the "equal value; equal exchange" principle. How many people really want to leave their relationships in the hands of "lottery-type" odds? Yeah, not me either.
The answer is "Yes," but also, "No."
Interestingly, little children (and even teens and young adults) see their parents or guardians with whom they live and/or are being raised as "one" anyway. When they are able to tear that apart (and they will try because they are kids - not fully mature yet - and as such, want to try to "get their way), it usually makes them more unhappy than happy. Often, they don't even know why. They just know that something doesn't feel right. Believe it or not, there is little that is more beneficial to the well-being and long-term success of a child than having parents who stand together as one single unit that will not be turned upon itself or split apart. This is also the greatest thing you can do to ensure the future success of their relationships because there is no greater teacher of Key #2 and Key #3 than seeing it in action over and over when you are little yourself.
Stay strong in my commitment to God to stay with you
Did you ever play with colored clay or play dough when you were a kid? Imagine you are red and your partner is purple. Separate, you are these bright,UGG Kensington Boots, brilliant, colors. Now, imagine you are blended together. When this happens to colored clay, you can no longer call what is created "purple" or "red". It is something totally new. Can you ever split this clay back up to be "red" or "purple" alone? No, it will always be this new "color" or "blend of colors".
Repeated, blatant, and unrepentant infidelity
Now, of course, the colored clay had no "choice" in the matter. But if both parties in a relationship imagine their union as this permanent blending of colors - before the union ever takes place - you might go into that union with a more permanent mindset. Then, if you make decisions in your relationship, in your life together,ugg outlet, with the understanding that you can't ever be split apart - or that if you are, you are going to be messy and very much unlike your original self - it will affect every single one of those decisions. Just this one simple mindset change on behalf of both parties - hopefully before, but even after - a lifelong love partnership is ever entered into, will totally change the place from which choices are made throughout that relationship. And if choices are made with the idea of "Will this keep us - or even bring us closer - together?" instead of "Will this tear us apart?", the "Dynamic of Stay" is much more inevitable.
When we are growing up and learning and absorbing and becoming our "adult self", these statements do have merit. When it is "just us",UGG Sundance 2, we need to learn to put ourselves first. We need to learn to accept responsibility for our mental well-being, happiness, and success so that we can become independent, self-driven, productive, human beings.
Key #3 - Your Children Third
Every day, the majority of questions I get - and hear - revolve around what constitutes "true love" and what creates the "Dynamic of Stay" in a relationship. The "Dynamic of Stay" I am referring to here is the study of what makes some couples stay together, no matter what obstacles and issues they might face, versus others who go their separate ways when faced with even minor crisis.
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:10 AM   #2
huang1234
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Late autumn, and on the central mountain city, it has a little cold. Western restaurants are available in this border town is the largest hotel. Since early days, no guests. Then the big door into the two guests, a man and a woman of about forty, dressed decent, men still carrying a designer bag, seems to be rich couple.

send me the menu, smiling. the men took the menu direct delivery woman, said: I said: I think they are not finding fault in. These days, people who come to the hotel to make trouble often, so I did not half sound bite, looked at the disturbed female clients. The woman's own words repeated again and again, this time the man next to the speaker: Road, br>
men do not say anything, holding hands against the chair. next to bare a hint of disdain, I smile, thinking: This woman and cheap and pull the home. the restaurant is not light to eat noodles, said two people as long as the bowl. Pielepiezui woman washed her: the want to say: beckoned, I went complaining: also find it very strange: to see the couple's dress should not eat the meal who can not afford the estimated what additional ideas. After all, business site, not push it the truth.

told me he whispered: began to observe this strange couple from.

a while, I took home a bowl of steaming noodles, to the woman in front of a release, said: br>
see noodles, a woman's eyes were bright, her moving their faces to the bowl on a fine deep breath, then gently stir with chopsticks on a bowl of noodles, green onion, a good like want to eat, half have gone to the mouth.

man who strained to see a woman, but also turned a look around and feel everyone staring at them with strange eyes,And others felt after her husband went to bed wit, he felt a shame, bitterly He said: > Men pick up the table a menu: br>
woman and not be slow, such as point man finished dish. This light said to me: over,Hardware only, a man on the gas reddening: ? woman calmly said: the sentence: ! back ah?

dull man snorted. woman continued: do! shook his head. woman sighed: I did not expect to be cheated his shirt, and even travel money gone. through here, you have to eat a bowl of noodles to me, I know, when your body to rest five cents a ... ... will not forget, then it is a small, broken noodle shop. Let me get you to just empty bowl. tears, muttering: : now, or this sentence! chopsticks noodles to the lips, a swallow, the whole is gargling the stomach. When he get the time from the second chopsticks noodles, tears suddenly woman to see him eat, and smiled,The last death of a 17-year-old girl original song is really touching song supe, and began to pick up the chopsticks to eat. noodles entered the mouth, while tears drip into the bowl. the couple to tears this and points to a bowl of noodles eaten.

put down the chopsticks, the man asked the woman looked softly: shoes, pull out the insole, hand entered, and touch, did not expect to actually work out five dollars. He startled by startled, stared at his hand could not believe the money.

woman smiled and said: ; Twenty years ago, you lied to me that only five cents, and can only buy a bowl of noodles, Actually, you have five cents, she hid in the soles. I know you want to hide that fifty cents money, so when I'm hungry a chance to. then you are forced to eat half of the noodles, that I will not eat, put the money out to buy a bowl! Fortunately, you remember what you have done this five dollars, I'm not white Tibet! , quickly ran away, a short while, holding back a big bowl full of noodles. Man to the woman poured a half bowl: I just want to break up with you again before the hungry once. suffering a back! net. He put down the bowl urged women: a point not to, you and what a good woman, married eight or ten, I will not control you .....burned, still does not work it? After a bowl of noodles, then to me: who never work out the two hundred dollar bills handed in the past: My boss, my boss smiled and said: into the hands of men, and went straight away .....

this time, my boss is also getting divorced. My boss back in the office, goes out from the drawer had drafted a divorce agreement, breathed and looked a long while, muttering to say: >
think about before parting, that person accompany you to stand by the community, along the way .. in fact .. your story is not a short time wore on, who moved but little by little, in fact, Who Loved your archives .. people are not that sweet to coax you happy people., perhaps in the sole possession of 5 dollars .. the last time was the last province to give you a little something to eat, say hungry people.
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