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Old 04-29-2011, 11:35 AM   #1
conllicdrs
 
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Default Ray Ban Outlet Toxic Soulmates - Are They Loveable

A client came to see me about how difficult it was for her to meet the right man. According to her, she had met a man whom she loved Ray Ban Outlet, but their relationship did not turn into marriage like she had hoped. Confused and discouraged, she told me that she was concerned that she would never find the right man. This woman seemed kind and sincere, and she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever had as a client. She was exotic and sultry, dripping with ###### appeal. But men would not stay with her.
By asking the important questions above and then really listening to your partner's answers and by being understanding and patient and working to fulfill his or her needs, you can help a toxic date or soulmate become a loveable person for you..
Be patient. Try to walk in your soulmate's or date's shoes. How would you like to be treated if you had been abused or taken advantage of in a previous love relationship and then dumped? Not a great feeling, is it? Don't leave the person who might be your soulmate until you have done your part by truly listening to find out what the problem is and then offering extra love and support. If nothing seems to work, consider your own health and well-being, and then leave the person if that is in fact the best option.
When men or women have had a bad experience, they sometimes hold on to the emotional pain and may even bring up their experience during a date or other time when they are with their current love interest. No one wants to go on a date or be in the company of someone when they have to listen to the person rattle on and on about how bad men are or how stuck up women are. However, it is important to realize that the complaining is often a cry for love and attention-human beings are more fragile than we often realize. For others, it is simply a form of venting, and if allowed to vent, the person may get over his or her anger or disillusion and be able to have a lasting, healthy relationship.
Client: Men are jerks. They just want ######. They don't care about women.
Me: Why do you say that?
Client: Because every time I meet a man and we have a relationship, we always end up breaking up. I am worried that I will get old and not have any children.
Me: How so? Are you saying that just because the men you have met so far did not turn out to be what you wanted them to be, that all men are the same?
Client: Yes, they are. I am so sick of men; I don't want to waste my time dating anymore. It's just not worth it.
Me: But if you feel that way and say those kinds of things, what do you think will happen?
Client: I will not find the man I am ultimately looking for?
Me: You got it. You will block any chance you have to meet the type of man you want to be with, who will fulfill your needs-the kind of man you want to be with for forever. What concerns me is, how do you know that the next person you shut out is not your soulmate? What do you think you need to do to actually find that person, Efa?
Efa: Give men a chance?
Me: Bingo. What type of man are you looking for?
Efa: I don't want a guy to take me to a movie or dinner. I want a man who likes to go out somewhere and just sit and talk. I want to be intellectually stimulated.
Me: What kinds of conversation do you have with the men you have dated? Is it anything like this: "Men only want ######."
Efa: Yes, it is true. Men just want ######.
Me: Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps your dates leave because you are too critical of men, and tell them that all they want is ######?
Efa thought for a minute. I could see that she was beginning to understand what I was trying to explain to her. Then I continued our conversation.
Me: So if you met someone who could meet your needs, you would fall in love with him, wouldn't you?
Immediately, Efa looked at me and smiled. Her teeth were pure white, and she had the most beautiful smile.
This data is entered into the Daily Weigh-In Form, which I introduced last posting. Here's the form again:Let's focus on the concept of necessity.In the fourth column Ray Ban Sunglasses Outlet Blackjack - How Much Mon, you assign each purchase a Necessity Score: 0 if the purchase is totally unnecessary, 1/3 if it's not very necessary, 2/3 if it's pretty necessary, and 1 if it's entirely necessary.There is, of course, a certain subjectivity to assigning necessity scores; the decision will depend to some extent on your psychological awareness, even on your existing debt level and your present and future expenses. But here's a rough guide. If you fell and broke your leg during the week, the check to the orthopedist would be entirely necessary; you'd give that a Necessity Score of 1.
When we finally ended the session, I reinforced to her the principle that she must not judge all men as bad just because of a few she had met who had left her, and that she must stop telling her current love interest that all men are jerks, but that she must treat men as if they are wonderful, and then she would find a wonderful man.
I told her, "Have you tried to audition for America Next Top Model" Efa informed me that a number of people had asked her the same question.
We may think our wants equal our needs. In other words, that we just have to have a certain pair of shoes or gadget to be happy, successful, etc. While this can seem simple when we're talking about basic needs like shelter and food, it can get murky when we're looking at other items. Here's an easy way to really get conscious about determining the difference between a need and want.Weighing In is a technique for cutting through the financial fog that envelops so many overshoppers. Weighing In involves the disciplined recording of purchases-and something more. You also categorize each purchase, choosing from a master list that groups expenses into logical bins: Home, Food, Clothing, Entertainment, Education, and so on. And you assign each purchase a Necessity Score, based on your dispassionate evaluation of how much you need it. (Need, not want.)
I began the counseling session by stating a simple request: Tell me how you feel about dating and relationships and about finding your soulmate. She began:
But often the toxic partner can change if you are willing to help him or her do so. If your soulmate is too toxic to love and to be with, if your date is nothing more than poison on two legs, don't despair-there is light at the end of the tunnel. The experience I will share below will show you how you can help heal the person.
Have you met someone you thought was your soulmate just to find out that yes, the person is your soulmate, but he or she is also toxic? Just because you have met someone who fits the profile of a toxic soulmate, it does not mean that the only choice is to leave the person. I will tell you why in a minute.
In this article, I will teach you, using a case study and effective relationship questions, how you can convert a relationship with a toxic soulmate into a healthy, long-lasting one.
I have clients who tell me that they met a great guy or gal but that they had to end the relationship because the new love was too toxic. Has this ever happened to you? Wait! Before you shut the door on someone who could prove to be a perfectly loveable person, listen to this: there is a simple psychology that can convert a toxic companion into a loving soulmate. Toxic soulmates, and toxic dates, are loveable. You just have to know how to help them in a manner that is non-threatening.
In the conversation recounted above, it is obvious what the woman wanted. She did not want a relationship merely built on ######. She was looking to connect with a man on a different level-a higher level. She was looking for a soulmate with whom she could build a lasting relationship.
When you are on a date, if you meet someone who you feel is your soulmate but the person is toxic, get into the date's or soulmate's mind and find out two things:
First, what is really bothering the person? And second, what does the person really need, and how can you meet his or her needs in order to make a lasting love relation between the two of you possible?
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