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a number of a long time in the past, i paraphrased an outdated adage for the beginning meditation circle: "enlightenment is a journey, not a destination." i cautioned them about the hazards of taking up permanent residence in any of the little hamlets they would likely encounter on their path. i reminded them that these locations called esp or tarot or psychometry were merely places to visit for knowledge, experience, enjoyment and affirmation. these fascinating areas were like signposts along the path to let them know how far they had traveled. one of those rather large cities along the way was a place called healing. this was an area so large it had many districts and its own suburbs,Office 2007 Pro Plus Key, but it was, after all, only another stop along the way. as i investigated, explored and tasted the varied offerings of this metropolis, i found myself visiting in a 'burb called reiki, a village of oriental architecture with mostly western residents. i drank briefly at its well of information, experienced its effect and moved on. numerous months later, like the lure of a special vacation spot, reiki called me back for another visit. this was not really a delay, i decided, it was just a brief return to see if i had missed anything. this time the well was marked symbology, and i drank deeply. then slowly, like a mind-altering drug, the symbols began to do their work. i became aware that the well had changed into a portal, not unlike alice's rabbit hole. this secret passage to another dimension was not without its dangers. i would need to leap into it without hesitation to find out its depths--and heights. but,Windows 7 X64, i agonized, what about the path? was i not doing the very thing i had so clearly warned against? i prayed about it, i meditated on it, i slept on it, but all my efforts merely took me in a circle that returned repeatedly to that shimmering portal. so i abandoned the path and leaped.

wow, what a trip! like a mysterious tapestry it continues to unfold with constantly surprising experiences. as the varied colors and textures weave their patterns of consciousness, i have become aware of certain repeated themes that have led me to some personal viewpoints about the nature of enlightenment, healing and reiki itself. to convey them with any clarity, i must relate some of the occurrences along my reiki journey.

the surrealistic adventure began with strange awake visions and frequent sleep teaching. a number of times each week, as i surrendered consciousness to that first stage of sleep, the masters would present a lesson. some were simple, some were visual, some were experiential, some were enigmatic. they were like a string of beads, each linked to the next by some thread of insight. i began to anticipate the dreams and knew which nights they would occur --when it was brighter with my eyes closed than open, i knew the "spirits of light" were present and waiting for me to relinquish control of my racing mind.

the awake flashes of intuition were somewhat disconcerting. i became more aware of patterns of energy--radiating, dancing, interacting. i could close my eyes and see the colors and shapes of energies surrounding me. when these flashes were verbal, it was even more mystifying. while discussing some aspect of my new-found passion (for it had become that), i would suddenly find words of explanation tumbling forth that were as much a revelation to me as to others. each time i tested this new knowledge with reason to assure that i could support the statement if challenged. a sudden synergy of unrelated data would offer astounding insights to previous knowledge as well as to the new information.

i was both teacher and student--observer and observed. through it all i came to understand that all knowledge is, after all, subjective. until esoteric concepts are related to personal experience, they are just intellectual fodder. i also accepted that higher knowledge is not discovered from outside sources, but from within. enlightenment is not information but integration!

as this integration of ideas continued, my viewpoint of healing slowly shifted. all the books and seminars repeated the same trite themes: "healing means to become whole," and "all healing is self-healing." both concepts seemed to be pretty self-evident on the surface, but soon ripples of awareness disturbed that calm surface. what did wholeness really mean? i felt fairly complete,Office 2010 Pro Plus, in balance, whole, but this recent experience of new concepts emerging from the synthesis of previously unrelated ideas made me question if there were degrees of wholeness. whole is a word that does not lend itself to comparatives--whole, wholer, wholest sounds ridiculous. and yet, i was beginning to understand that wholeness was, again, a subjective term. if i was whole yesterday, then what shall i call this more integrated, aware state i experience today? is this not also wholeness? and will my expanded self-awareness tomorrow be even more profoundly whole? the realization slowly grew that as long as i tried to apply the term whole to myself as a separate entity, i was using an incomplete definition.

as i became open to this idea,Windows 7 Professional Key, the lucid-dreaming experiences changed. occasionally i would sense the separation of my "self" from my body and could interact with the other bodiless "selfs" swimming in the formless sea of consciousness. these exploits progressed until it seemed that my "self" was infinitely scattered bits of consciousness within that sea and myriad other bits of consciousness were zipping through, around and with me. we were no less ourselves, and yet we were minute patterns within that greater pulsating, vibrating expanse. the only intellectual concept i could apply to the sensation was that of being electrical energy on a power grid. even though each separate energy was generated from a discrete point of origin, it was an inseparable part of the matrix of energy that formed and undulated across the grid. i had never felt more fragmented, less complete--and yet, totally connected. i sensed that this was just a glimpse of the true meaning of being whole.

there was a peaceful rightness to being "on the grid" that made me feel more alive, aware than when i was awake. how strange that at the moment i was least integrated with my supposed means of sensory input, my body, i was most aware of incredible sensory impressions. the colors, patterns, sounds--even the tactile sensations--were beyond anything i had experienced before. i could "feel" music play across my non-existent skin. i could "hear" and "see" the vibration of colors. my "balance" swayed and swirled as my consciousness flowed through and with the complex energy patterns that swelled, crested, and then dissipated back into the amorphous pool. and through it all was the underlying sense of a network, the intentional force and matrix that kept all of our separate and inseparable energies flowing together. was this, then, what healing was about? if so,Office 2007 Pro Plus Key, i understood that this was a state of being that no one could ever create for another. i could not "heal" someone else any more than i could have been "healed" through another persons efforts. this was not only healing by the self, but of the self - the truest form of self-healing.

so, if enlightenment and healing are each a personal and individual process, what then is the role of the healer? i began to perceive myself as a kevorkianesque midwife. i assisted in suicide of the individual ego and attended the labor and birth of spiritual awakening. i was neither initiator nor culminator of this process, but simply a facilitator or, at best, a catalyst. i was merely dancing with the energy. as a healer i had, like a dancer, studied the basic movements until they were easy to perform, but the energy set the rhythm, tempo and choreography of each dance. as i relinquished the desire to lead and control, i found a transcendental point where i was one with the force and flow of the energy. we were inseparable partners, gliding in great spiral pirouettes where we were needed. how strange to realize that i did my best work when i wasn't working at all.

with each dance, each treatment, i came to know that energy is just a comfortable, impersonal term for consciousness --for the energy had both information and intent. it "knew" where to place my hands. it "told" me what to say. it "showed" me snapshots of events and situations that revealed insights for the client. as i used the symbols to assist the movement of this consciousness through myself and the client, i saw the profound effect it could have in releasing, restructuring and renewing the healthy flow of vital energy. this process was even more apparent when i observed and practiced the attunement rituals. the consciousness darted and swirled in the ancient, ageless patterns, establishing a resonance within the material being of both master and initiate. their roles rewritten in this symbiotic, symbolic pas-de-deux, the master bows in servitude to the omnipotent energy, while the student celebrates mastery over spiritual ignorance. it was truly a wonder to behold and a blessing to experience.

but now, as i count my blessings, i am forced to look back upon the route i have traveled and must ask myself, "how far has this reiki sabbatical taken me from the path?" reflecting on the varied terrain, the high points and the obstacles, i realize that i haven't strayed from the real path at all. the destination is still ahead, my compass remains constant, only my mode of travel has changed. instead of calmly walking the clearly marked road, i now ride a space/time accelerator along the reiki highway. this vehicle has taken me on a quantum leap to the inner recesses of my mind and beyond the outer limits of my imagination. it has also brought me to the decision to file a change-of-address to reiki village. much like a stage-play storefront, my dwelling there is only a facade, a point of reference to the audience of other travelers. i know that when they come knocking at my door along their quest, i can open a magic portal for them and invite them aboard for the voyage of a lifetime.