holding my hand Lele walk on the beach

[tingc1kewu]

Luoguxuantian firecrackers out the window again and again today, I walk slowly looking at a row of wedding car, an influx of nondescript desolate heart, my eyes moist ... ... I can not help but think of my wife is happy about that only one day of my bride's girl. Just five years ago today, my Lele forever gone, left alone, no one family's blessing, only my endless tears, the endless heartache ... ...
friends, you do not know the taste of pain ! four years, no day I do not miss Lele. I have been trying to make himself forget, but always in a casual moment, a particular touch of casual, pull open my bloody wounds. I am afraid of the pain, I do not want to remember, but I always think of Lele gave me joy, every time I have burned Chu flutter like that pain, such as knife-like piercing. Hey, even if we have thousands of Acacia, but with what people say! ... ... To pay homage to this article to my heaven Lele, comfort my soul porous. Lele, you know, I love you, love you forever, no matter where you are, I am your eternal harbor.
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★ University Experience: How to live to be a problem!
I was born in the Taihang Mountains in the hills of a village called chicken depression, it is War and War of Liberation when the base areas. ** Fifty years later, there is still poor and backward people still good and simple. I finished ** grandfather story, always told me: go to school, to live a In fact, I would not want to live floor, but in Beijing I would be interested.
special to me in high school, university entrance exam, I asked a university in Beijing reported a computer system. Perhaps, there is a will there is a sub-sub-fighting harvesting, July 28, 1991, I actually got his wish that the Beijing University received the admission notice.
I was admitted to the University of the village are boiling, I was chicken Wacun the first baby to go to Beijing to college. But my family was immersed in sorrow, 326 yuan fee, we Nabu Qi. Folks who know, by the ten-dollar club, the West family picked up by two, and finally the mother the little pigs are sold, and finally scrape together 500 dollars. I have the blessing of the home crowd and the sound of the parents exhort the road alone.
my life is a failure in this life, in elementary school to buy a pencil to worry about, worry about dinner when in high school, college hours or for a meal to worry about.
report, my pocket only 98 yuan, then the school a monthly 36 yuan for food tickets. But a month down, no matter how I save my, have labeled more than 50 yuan. Looked at my hands, diminishing the yuan, to tears my heart out, the family has long been penniless, I would like to teach on, but my rags, and no one will ask, had to go to work. I take the students 40 dollars to go to a professional intermediary called Kai Shun quoted the name, they referred me to do, Chongwen District, a warehouse loading and unloading work. I went there, found it to be an abandoned factory, but have no goods to loading and unloading. A man claiming to be manager there, looked at me and say I do not qualified for handling work, put me out of the. No way, I went back to intermediaries, requiring re-introduced me to one. People there said, introduced me to, I can not do, they have no alternative. If the re-introduction, it will then be submitted fee. I know I met a liar, I cried gas, I reason with them, but was driven out of office.
This is the first time I've ever been deceived, do at home parents teachings of the not forty yuan and sold, I'm the loud noise also ah. No way, I can only find a job to fill his stomach in order to live, I broke in again, and their theory to play out this time I was hit.
I was desperate, my first out of the mountains, with immense respect the feelings of the capital to the country, I just want to go to school by his own labor to earn money, even cheated. I'm really desperate, I think about death, I want them to fight the. I picked up a brick to the side of the road, rushing ... ...
At this time, I was a poorly dressed old man pulled. He told me Then, he pulled me to tell me a quiet place, that place is designed to deceive countryman, and I know they saw my clothes with patches. Later I learned that the old man surnamed Du, Shanxi, in the capital for the industry to trash scavenger. When I told him my life experience, he happened to feel sympathy for me, advised me to pick up some junk, then buy it for him, that does not bear wrong school, but also to ensure that income.
so, I quietly Rags, I was not in their own school, I'm afraid the students see the joke. But anyway, I can by his own labor to feed himself.
Some people say that in the spirit of the poor can reduce a person's taste. But we do not know the substance of the poor even more terrible, he can destroy a person's will.
★ scavenging roots
experience of university life, in my lecture, write Xiegao Zi, picking up scavenging in the lead. The day flat light, lonely, poor, helpless, what have come, just not love. In fact, I do not luxury, but also not afford to dream, because I was not even alive is a tough one.
92 years of summer, I did not go home, I want to take advantage of holidays, pick up some more junk in preparation for the next semester's tuition. Day morning, I was in a cell when the trash scavenging, a girl with a bag Morning came up to me and saying, from her eyes actually do not see the disgust and contempt, it was the first time I saw the eyes of discrimination. I moved to the easy to read that one sentence The girl looked at me for about half a minute, and then simply said, Pair of bright eyes forever branded in my mind was. This is my first time to see Lele, when we have not met.
first semester sophomore year, I was selected as the school's vice president of the Literary Society. One day, I was busy in the Literary Club, where the school is issued, President Wei Sun over, tell me about a new member. Looked up, I panic, the girl was actually encountered a girl that scavenging. When we shook hands, Lele face puzzled. I know she recognized me. I am helpless smile.
Fortunately Reconfirmation introduction to Zhang Le left. Reconfirmation left, Lele said: . Lele asked: Why, a wealthy lady, do not know a baby mountain living difficult. I'm afraid of what she said to me out of scavenging, as we face more important than the mountain people to life is also important. Lele promised not to tell anyone in, I told Lele, it was not my experience of life, that was my only source of livelihood. Lele face surprised. So I met the Lele. Le Le is the fate of my acquaintance and I opened one of the biggest joke: the fate of the garbage that make Le dirty when I met me, perhaps as Lele Literary Society in college and I met elegant place.
Later, Lele often find me borrow, let me help her to change to change the manuscript. In such a one to two to become free, we would not say friends.
Lele know I'm the baby in the Taihang Mountains, where poverty is our greatest feature. I also know that Le Le is a Major General's daughter, mother is a Surgeon.
★ because her life has become colorful
sophomore country Eve, the school has organized the , warm grand awards show. Finally, the winners of each song at one stage. When is the last my turn, I can not sing, the teacher in the break, I often sing to sing a home, I can not believe, Lele actually holding a bouquet of flowers on stage, he gave me flowers.
moved me a bit dizzy. Everyone knows that Lele is a talented woman I recognized additional school beauty school. At that time my little vanity to get the most satisfaction.
next day, the school passed the word crazy, In the dorm, and I faced man explained, but only in exchange for crooked smile buddy. I told this Lele, Lele said that they are not afraid of tired, let them say whatever. Lele actually ten thousand did not. I was glad of it, will not bother to handled.
my life has not changed, but Lele happy happy sad silence has allowed my heart alive, has also been a smile on my face. All along, I always stubborn to deal with the cold eyes of the world, but also into account, I am a low self-esteem of the people, so I have no passion for anything, but now, everything changed. I like Le Le with me, looked at her smiling eyes, or hear her voice the clearest. Have her by my side really is a beautiful feeling, I feel at ease. See Lele day, I was on empty. I think the feeling the taste of happiness.
I and Le Le have one common interest, is to read books reading room, Lele always with his own double to give me occupying a seat cushion. No matter how late I go to always have a place to sit. Lele get tired, will write an article Zhang me says That day, I received my note Lele, easily caught in the book. Out of the reading room, the Lele asked me, how do you come out, I said it was not you I've been out about it? Lele laughed, I find that paper look, huh, huh, not here with the word, the White Yeah. Our day was Moqie sweet. Lele will accompany me scavenging
sometimes, when she did not show Jiaotai point we leap. Lele self-proclaimed side of the trash, she picked up broken, more like a basket full of that hill, Sai Lo Sai Lo miles ... ...
the second half of junior year, I can stand-alone program, and by a friend, I undertake to a process of a commodity trading company editing software tasks. Every day I soak in the library, reading room, computer room, and sometimes a bubble is the day to help me when Lele Da Fan, to the library to find information, and sometimes I wash clothes. Haste the day off and sweet, and sometimes really want this fixed in time here, no loss. Will you be?
After three months the efforts of sleepless nights, I finally finished programming tasks, trading companies are very satisfied with the pay me 2,600 yuan for services rendered. Though not much, but I had seen most of the money. I do not know how to spend, give Jiali Ji 1000 yuan. Lele to thank the past three months taking care of me, I decided to take Le to Qinhuangdao see the sea. Lele know, the happy jumping around my neck up, the excitement, actually kissed my forehead. I was ignorant, and so big, she was the first girl I kissed, I just think the face, fever, dizzy.
we take the train to the Qinhuangdao, came to the Then, we went to Beidaihe, Lele bath water to wash the first time. Lele wearing a red bathing suit in the sea jumping, jumping, screaming, and that pleasure is naturally and loneliness. Suddenly a sea surge before, will be submerged Lele, Lele stand up and opens his mouth to shout at me, came a wave overwhelmed her, and I hurried him to pull up. Lele actually told me, good sea salt Yeah. Oh, this girl must drink water out. Another surge came, Lele to hold my hand tightly, like a child. After the sun goes down, holding my hand Lele walk on the beach, tired, and I play on the sand dunes, bury me in the sand create all kinds of strange graphics, and exaggerated smile.
heard Beidaihe seaside is one of the Divine Office at nine Grand. We are similar to bed early, the night was deep, and we go to bed similar. Accommodation, Le said she was afraid, have to live with me. I protested, Lele actually cried. That night we checked into a double room. Perhaps tired during the day, I quickly stumbled to sleep. Middle of the night, I think the room has a sound to slightly opened his eyes, was found lying in my bed Lele. I did not know how to do, pretend to be asleep. Lele hand gently stroked my face, muttering, Last Lele actually gently kissed my lips. Lele my face wet with tears. I'm silly, I'm just a farmer's son, I am not only your life.
this evening, I Yiyewumian.
next day, four more than we got up to see the sunrise. We choose the best view of Venue eagle corner booth. Sunrise, Tianshui connected, color changes, water underwater red phase, and instantly out of the water in the sunset, the sun on sand hills, as if covered with a layer of golden veil. Lele was nestled in my side, whispered in my ear and said,
watching the sunrise, we take a cable car visit the fairy Lo Island. Sin Lo Island, a beautiful legend. According to legend, long ago, the Dragon King Conch fairy betrothed defiance of life, down to earth human, and Nandaihe sea fishermen baby dear boy fell in love, married. Lele, after listening to the tour guide this story, actually half-joked that she is conch fairy, baby I'm the sea. I smile to say.
★ young love is so stupid when
back from Beidaihe, I have been thinking about the relationship between me and Le Le. Lao She would have been in my mind swing of I know we are two worlds, the door does not properly account, one is struggling to live a poor student, a general who is the pampered daughter. Lele I know I can love for life, but Lele Can you? Lele parents would agree with that?
Love someone should give him happiness. Now that our love will not be happy, then I can only choose to leave. I was beginning to alienate
Lele, Lele also aware, from her eyes hesitantly, I see is sad. Lele, you know, you are my life, the long-awaited round of the rainbow that never occurred. I'm really hard to let go. You by my side, I have a warm touch, people are not vegetation, ruthless Practice makes perfect, I leave you, I know you hurt, or even call me heartless. I hope you forgive, you know, I make such a decision, I have pain, I really need you. All along, I'm happy to be with you as the happiness of my life, I do not ever want to cry, can be life there are always too many helpless, this is the life ah.
all has not yet started, everything was over ...
time off fast, and shortly had graduated four years. Lele went with his parents after graduating from Hubei, and I went to Shenzhen, I never met and Le Le. But I miss it more and more intense Lele. Lele, as always, sent a letter to my mailbox. I also used the Internet every day to open the mailbox and see Lele sent me E-mail. But every time I do not back, not want, they feared the letter would evoke more sadness Lele. Lele wrote to me, but that really got me extremely guilty:
If there are 100 people in this world love you,
a man I;
If you have 10 people love you,
there is a That was me;
If a person loves you,
That one is me;
if no one loves you,
then I have not in this world has.
Lele, I can read your heart. But my heart has ever not so ah!
2000 in the spring, I went to Beijing on business, a few students to eat at night, and Beijing. During the meeting, they spoke of the Lele. Lele Bitter said, parents in the floods in 98 years with the sacrifice, now confined to bed. I was shocked, my hands fall to the ground glass. I do not believe this is true, I have the sky falls down feeling. I think Lele wrote me E-mail:
br> At that moment, I broke down, I forget what is reserved, and all the tears blurring my eyes. At this point, I know Lele has been deeply immersed in my bone marrow.
★ did not expect to meet again the next day I mean goodbye
Lele where the plane went to a small town in Hubei, when I appeared in front of Lele, Lele spent, flew at me, crazy beat me, that I knew you'd come, I know you will come. I held to Le in my arms. Lele cry, cry is so helpless. I saw Le
close to my house full of pictures of me lying on the bed in the junior year to send her little bear. Ai, Lele has been living in the memory.
tears blurring my eyes, I know, this life I will not forgive myself ...
Le Le to the hospital the next day I'll check the disease. Heaven is really unfair, Lele was actually obtained bone cancer, bone marrow transplant to be more than 20 million. But now there are no marrow donor bone marrow match her blood type, you need to find a bone marrow were able to offer parents the best.
I tried to ask Le Le. Lele cry, Le said she had no relatives. The 1998 flood, the Lele unit where the parents charged with the task in Jiujiang, Jiangxi flood. Jiujiang burst, the Lele's father led his troops jump into the shoulder of the flood in, hand in hand Gong played a flyover wall. Fighting a few days and nights with him and his men away by the flood. Flood in the mother also gave a little girl to save his life.
Speaking of which, Lele hair with both hands, ripping at clothes, burst into tears, she kept telling me, winding of a child, she murmured, flow. Lele, I hardy Lele, you are the little footer, how can I withstand such a blow ah!
In this world I am only one person said, I told Lele, and other disease is cured, we'll get married, let her do my life the most beautiful bride.
Lele with a wry smile, but shook his head.
I am determined to take on the responsibility of a man, I will go to Shanghai Lele, a hospital, decided to give her bone marrow transplant.
I quickly sell off of 56 million computer company in Shenzhen. I do not want to sell, it is my effort Yes, but I still sell.
waiting for bone marrow, when the body more and more by Lele, often To lose the past. If the doctor is always lingering in my ear,
I know that every girl dreams of the bride to do, including the Lele. I am determined to get married and Le Le. ** And then go to the studio to take wedding photos Lele, Lele and makes a turn watching someone else's wedding album, his face fascinated ... ... Finally, the Lele and I did not take wedding photos, nor to the Marriage Registry. Her only hope at the church for a wedding. I understand Lele care and thought.
2000 years, China has yet to be held in a church wedding in the precedent. I came to St. John's church, explained what he wanted, was rejected. Then I tell of the tragedy of the Lele, they readily agreed.
★ I lost her at the wedding
9 6, I will never forget that day and that was my wedding day and Lele wedding. Today, Lele surprisingly good, full of energy, perhaps the doctor hit the arm of the exigencies. 6:00, I went with Lele, The most beautiful woman in the wedding, when a face peach Lele, Maoruo angel.
8 点 28 points if we come to the church about.
sounded for our church I reluctantly walked leaning Le priest and the priest holding When the pastor asked
Lele: You would like to sincerely and Qin Hui married ... both happiness hardship, poverty and wealth, a healthy love him ... ... disease; life and his loyalty to build a better family! you? The answer sounded shy
Lele Lele
may feel so happy, I wear the ring, actually blushing asked, I think certainly immersed in Sin Lo Lele Island, a beautiful legend ... At that time, Lele Manmianhongguang, smiling face (I later learned, this is when people go to heaven Huiguangfanzhao).
when the I know Lele really gone, forever gone. I did not panic, I knew this day would come, but I did not think, I hardy Lele, actually walked in our wedding, and with a smile, do not ask me if I'd left, leaving only A lonely me.
can not stop my tears no longer ... ...
☆ Postscript:
Lele away, take away all her joy and misery, but also take away the stars I miss her heart.
Lele has a lifetime desire to live in the mountains and the sea areas. I have been looking for land Lele sleep satisfaction. Maybe somewhere Lele in guiding me. I actually found a piece of this land - the state in the Qilu Shandong Province, Rizhao City Shanhaitian a tourist resort, where there are beautiful mountains, there is blue sky, blue sea, Sands difficult. I Shanhaitian chose a relatively flat topography of the slopes will be buried Lele. There, Lele can listen to the birds singing, watching Yunjuanyunshu and enjoy the waves of emotion, listen to Greenfield bursts, it can view thousands of miles across China.
we say that time heals the pain the best teacher, but why hurt my total will not be better? the dead of night, I like to wine drinking alone, every time I have drunk, every time I would see the music Music that sad look.
wishing to phase Sidu Kang, love to go, Jiuhan who reward?
gradually, I tear a little, because life goes. Lele leave me, I have nothing different, just not happy, not happy, I'm really afraid afraid of death, because I know that in the end of life, the other end of the world, my wife Lele waiting for me.
◎ Editor: Love is not waiting to open the flower, love is the fruit of effort. Please cherish your own fate right now, do not know when the lost treasure. Is not too late to take advantage of, please treat the love of your life! Since knowing each other, where pro-secular, why fear gossip? ... ...