EMOTIONAL HIGH MAINTENANCE
If you have a partner who is high maintenance, you need to realize that you, too, are not taking responsibility for your own feelings. Instead, you are enabling your partner to continue to turn to you for his or her sense of worth, security
Christian louboutin pumps, lovability, and so on. As long as you are taking responsibility for your partner, you are not taking responsibility for yourself.
FINANCIAL HIGH MAINTENANCE
Daniel needs things just the way they "should" be. If the kids are too noisy or the house isn't in order, he blows up at his wife
new era hats clearance, Sophia. Daniel takes no responsibility for the inner self-abandonment that creates his need to be in control over everything. He makes his wife and children completely responsible for his feelings of emptiness and aloneness that are the result of his self-abandonment. Daniel is emotionally high maintenance.
Brad had learned when he was young to be harshly judgmental of himself, and he took no responsibility for the pain this caused him. Instead, he was constantly demanding that his wife, Emma, make him feel better by having ###### with him. Brad uses his wife and ###### to take away the pain that he is causing by his own self-abandonment. Brad is ######ually and emotionally high maintenance.
4. Use your talents/gifts to serve the world - the best way for you to serve the world is in doing what you love and/or loving what you do. You have a core genius. You have within you the most wonderful talents and gifts. How do you know what they are - its simple - you feel BRILLIANT when you're pursuing them! So pursue them and keep nourishing them. Then start asking questions like - how can I use my talents and gifts to serve my family, my community, my country, the world? How can I begin to earn an income from what I love and how then can I get it to grow? As you take each step on such a path you leave behind a path which is illuminated with love, with kindness, with joy, with happiness, with passion and it acts as a lighthouse for those who find themselves in stormy seas. Does it take courage? Absolutely! And this is one of the traits you have in abundance - simply take the first step and keep going!
Brenda can never have enough clothes, shoes, and purses. And she never seems to have anything to wear. Her identity is completely tied up in how she looks and her material possessions. She takes no responsibility for her inner sense of safety and security. When her husband, Alex, refused to buy her a bigger house, she became enraged and threatened divorce. She is constantly judging Alex for not making enough money, even though Alex does very well. Brenda is financially high maintenance.
When Anthony married Olivia, he was trying to get his acting career going and Olivia was earning a lot of money in finance. At first she had no problem supporting Anthony in his passion, but within a couple of years, Anthony had stopped looking for acting jobs and was living high off of Olivia's salary. When Olivia consulted me for counseling, she was thinking about divorce. Anthony was constantly demanding more and more money for the things he felt he needed to be happy - and to cover up the deep insecurity that resulted from his inner abandonment. Anthony is financially high maintenance.
Elizabeth wants constant approval, attention, and affection from her husband, William. When he is busy with work or his hobbies, she calls him incessantly, whining about when he is going to have time for her. At least a couple of times a week, she insists they talk about their relationship and proceeds to blame him for her unhappiness. But no matter how much approval or attention William gives her, she is never happy for long. Because she takes no responsibility for her own feelings
Christian louboutin, her happiness is totally dependent on William. Elizabeth is emotionally high maintenance.
Chloe grew up getting a lot of attention for her looks, which she now sees as her value. Emotionally self-abandoning, she looks to her husband, Matthew, to make her feel lovable by having ###### with her. She often comes on to Matthew and then gets angry when he is not turned on to her. While Matthew used to be very attracted to Chloe, now he feels pulled on to make her feel loved and worthy. Chloe is ######ually and emotionally high maintenance.
######UALLY HIGH MAINTENANCE
When a person takes no responsibility for their own feelings of safety, security, worth, lovability, wellbeing, or happiness, they are high maintenance.
I encourage you to stop caretaking your partner, which is not loving to either of you, and start learning how to be loving to yourself - which is the very best thing you can do for yourself and for your partner!
AS THE PARTNER
3. Create a new identity - we are creative beings. Instead of having an identity which is attached to anything outside yourself, which is subject to change and ultimately beyond your control, base it on the infinite wisdom and greatness that is within you. This can never be taken away from you, recession or otherwise. You can begin to affirm to yourself "I am an infinitely creative and resourceful person", "My greatest hour has yet to come", "I am so happy doing what I love and loving what I do and getting richly rewarded for it", "the greatest moment of my life is this one - the more I truly live it, the more fulfilled I am and the more the future blossoms." Its also a good idea to remind yourself of what you really like/love about yourself - make a list and smile with every wonderful trait you posess. And let those you love know how wonderful it is that they are part of your life.
What is a high maintenance relationship? A high maintenance relationship is when someone is making you responsible for him or her in various different areas of life.