| Back to logs list
63263 2009 年 02 月 01 日 22:23 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (4) Category: Personal Diary
I is one day when I was in my dark house to sleep, to the evening show my photos to flowers to come out and meet my guests. Ershiyiting I rented a house, a small, dark, confused, there are many, many cosmetics, scattered over the floor. I'm not home, I left my home, my mother cried and told me not to go, my father told me angry: If you go, you will not come back again. I do not have your daughter in this shame! ! I looked back at my mother, I carried the things away.
I know, I can not go back for a lifetime.
So I became a prostitute.
husband and I to people as possible.
So I lost my dignity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so I reduced my work in a nightclub I was here signs, and my boss liked me very much. Of course, my boss and I have a fling. Since the husband is the person as possible, and it does not matter one more one less. Moreover, his immediate boss, but my power is more important than money!
do what we can not be too staunch a line. A man can not be too staunch. Imagine if a person, she did not even clothes to wear, even the stomach will not fill, but also talk about dignity?
I'm nineteen.
time every day to evening, I dragged my exhausted body to get up, and then the loading of very strong, and her hair up, then put on a very glamorous clothes, and bring high heels, I went to work.
our line of high wages, probably four or five thousand dollars a month, but I used to have money to spend to much money or let me make ends meet. Fortunately, I tip a lot, can barely maintain my life.
tire I've played five times, and the doctors told me that he said I could no longer give birth. He told me that when this word, a look of pity and sorrow rolled, I knew he was a good man,
monster pro headphones, and I know I deserve it,
monster beats, but I still can not suppress cried.
I reveal feelings to restrain myself, I know I am a prostitute,
Dre Beats Headphones, no one will really fall in love with me, so I bow to no thought about to be married, I still young, I want to take this time too a, then, I can not do, and then, I can find a honest man to marry him.
fact, I know, this is only one of my fantasy Bale. Because I am a prostitute, so I can not be married, not to mention I do not give birth again. No one will willingly possessor of a chicken will not lay eggs!
I can endure all the pain, but I can not stand my husband for my cynicism.
So, I do not have any intention to be married.
So, I am doomed to loneliness.
So I do not have family and love.
Therefore, I cool ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
every night I will whisper soft words and chat with my guests, and then one by one with the introduction of me, then I slept with him one night, then up the next day, I returned to my house to sleep. Every day, I never too greasy. But I hate myself. Every home, I will fiercely wash myself, but I will not abuse my skin, that is something I have to make money.
I lived a day after a world, no desire, no resentment, I was a zombie like, every day is to accompany guests in addition to sleeping, or is shopping for a big heap of clothes and cosmetics, in addition, I hardly go out.
mother in the end I still feel bad, and often come and help me clean up the house, she did not know what I do is to prostitute the line, if you know, I think I just really do not a loved one has. I do not want to lose them!
Sometimes, I go out shopping with my mother, I do not often sun, skin a sickly white. Go out, can often be met in the elevator with the floor of a man, a very elegant manner, each of us nodded and smiled. He has very good, very beautiful, tall, and wearing the very fashionable, I think, I was a bit of his attention, but whenever some of my thoughts further transgressions, I would remind myself : I am a whore!
I think, a deep sense of inferiority that has been through the Ru Gusui out. Can not escape!
no guests today, the recent crackdown, our business has a lot of light. I have the TV open, busy in the kitchen,
Monster Headphones, long time no cooking, and a meal for themselves, not bad. After all, I still like the dull day. I have decided to do one year, efforts to save enough money, I open their own stores, is the formal rules to do business. Or, go to another city, this city who know me too much.
bell was rang, however, I do not know who, in addition to the monthly charge for water of the old lady, no one will press my bell, and today they are not overcharging days, Moreover, it is already more than eight, my mother was never at night to me. I do not know who.
opened the door, but it is often that the man met in the elevator, he looked a look of embarrassed, said to me: I am sorry I've forgotten my key, from your balcony and climb over it? I live in your opposite.
I nodded and said: Yes. But so late, you do not climb it? Very dangerous. He smiled at me
, strange eyes looked at me, I then noticed that my own clothes. I wore a nightgown, a long covered my bare feet, but my chest but was very low, and is transparent lace, scattered with my hair, my white cover shoulder, but it has more ######y people. Busy hands to pull my nightgown strict, asked him to come out. I go in and changed clothes, he sat in my living room,
Beats Headphones, but fortunately my mother packed here this morning, only then, otherwise I do not know how to see people. I thought to myself some relief. Soak a cup of coffee to him, he apparently did work late, so late from work, he must be busy.
silly to me, he just smiled, I think, he must know that I do miss, but today I do not intend to pay for it, if he really idea, I think,
bose headphones, today, I would not bar one night with him for money. But tomorrow, I should look for a house move.
I said: the sky so dark, you do not climb the balcony, and very dangerous. Not as good as this evening to spend the night at my house now, you can sleep on the sofa. Anyway, neighbors, and tomorrow you find a locksmith to unlock better.
He nodded, very grateful to thank me. So I make dinner, after eating two of us sleep on their own. Yiyewumian, and he did not knock on my door, but I did not sleep well. Over and over again can not sleep, but fortunately not too used to sleep at night, anyway, it wants to sleep the next day to fix.
to sleep early before stumbled a bit, wake up already more than half past seven, I stood up out of bed, went to the living room when it is found that He has gone, the quilt folded on the sofa, very neat. Left a note on the coffee table: Thank you! My tears almost to draw down, so many years, almost no one I say \Miss everyone else to do that very strong, in fact, they are easily moved, and I too.
later days may be used to see him and know his work at the newspaper, knowing that he has a great backing father, knew he had a great influence family, and then I told myself that I do not deserve him! I know, I just sparrows, and he is the bird Phoenix. I can not fly the branches, he could not pay attention to \
I will not greedy, no more silly, I know I'm beautiful, if he is willing, I can *** with him, even as his lover, but do His wife, I know, I can not.
gradually went to my birthday. That day I leave the boss to buy a lot of dishes, cook delicious dishes done a lot, and then bought a cake, clean the house the first time I was so * Net, but also bought a bouquet of Lily, I know, I want to meet my two-year-old's birthday!
birthday no one would help me, except myself. Since all of the people do not remember me, I have no reason then their own abuse yourself?
that moment, I felt the feeling of desolation.
door I sat listening to the voice of the table, took out his keys to open the door upstairs, I opened the door and said to him: You can come with me together dinner?
he froze a moment, then said: happy to the extreme.
I know I am dressed very nice, because I had planned tonight to him myself, since it has been a person of the husband as possible, at least, I can My dedicated his life to his love of people, it will be enough. What is forever to do? People like me are entitled to it? To afford it? Night is forever!
I wore a red evening dress, the same as the wedding. Low-cut, backless, this piece of clothing, even the ordinary woman is wearing a very ######y and moving, not to mention I do not know I do not look pretty.
He was obviously some doubts. Stand for a long time, asked me: What day is it?
I laughed and said: my birthday.
He laughed and said: Sorry, I did not bring anything.
I shook my head: you sit like. So I went into the kitchen. When the table full of dishes served
when I saw his face, praise and stunning. I know that he actually likes me, but I do not know if he loves me. ---- But this has anything to do with it?
I drank a lot of wine, he is. So I naturally went to bed with him, in bed we are doing all cloud, it is a beautiful and touching, two very ########## body tangled as much as possible, who can not who can give up. I applied to do the whole body of the stops haunting him, tease him, and he has been saying in my ear: one small can of my children, I want to marry you. I used to kiss him to say live, I do not want promises, I do not want to promise to haunt him, I think, after that night, I should go. He did not know I was a prostitute, I think, or do not let him know the good. Since he likes me like this now, let him have always thought that I was like this right now. I do not want to spoil my image in his heart good, I want my beautiful forever in his heart fixed.
next day I got up very early. I made him a hearty breakfast, I think I regard myself as his wife. I desire, is not it?
I love him! Although I do not recognize, but I do love him! Perhaps he had no other advantages, only because he regarded me as a person, he never put me as a prostitute in his heart, I am pure and beautiful! I think my love has some form of discrimination, right?
then I moved, in his work one morning, I put all my things are left behind, left the keys to my him, I do not want take away any thing here. That was his best memory of me!
I have not told him that I was a prostitute. I do not know if he knows what the future would be a kind of expression. I have the courage to gamble on them, and no effort to gamble on them. Since he did not know, I will not let him know. We will always remember him that ***, always remember the love between us. I prefer to believe that he also love me.
In fact, I've always wanted to know if you know I was a prostitute, you will marry me?
north face ladies jackets - security alarm major f
Linear Mode
