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Old 09-15-2011, 09:51 AM   #1
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:03 AM   #2
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Reprinted from 27480602 at 15:41 on December 17 2009 read (loading. ..) Comments (1) Category: vicky Xinyu
















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Old 09-15-2011, 10:03 AM   #3
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Old 09-15-2011, 11:28 AM   #4
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高考了,高考完后又是中考...考题千奇百怪,答卷也五花八门。真佩服现在的学生啊,思维跳脱,天马行空, 和我们那时候的循规蹈矩,差别太大了,呵呵。看一组语文试卷中的填空题……
  1.__________,为伊消得人憔悴
  同学答:宽衣解带终不悔
  (正解为“衣带渐宽终不悔”,偶承认这个是思想有问题)
  2.问渠哪得清如许,__________
  同学答:心中自有清泉在
  (正解为“唯有源头活水来”,咱还是和水粘了点边~~~)
  3.何当共剪西窗烛,__________
  同学答:夫妻对坐到天明
  (语文老师阅卷时笑晕。后在课堂时说此事,又晕!正解为“却话巴山夜雨时”)
  4.蚍蜉撼大树,__________
  同学答:一动也不动
  (正解为“可笑不自量”。一动也不动,赫赫,很符合事实阿)
  5.君子成人之美,__________
  同学答:小人夺人所爱
  (直接晕死)
  6.穷则独善其身,__________
  同学答:富则妻妾成群
  (正解:达则兼济天下)
  7.__________,shape up shoes,天下谁人不识君
  同学答:只要貌似萨达姆
  (汗|||....)
  8.后宫佳丽三千人,__________
  同学答:铁棒也会磨成针~~~~~~
  (正解为“三千宠爱在一身”)
  9.身有彩凤双飞翼,__________
  同学答:拔毛凤凰不如鸡
  还有个同学答:夫妻双双把家还
  (正解为“心有灵犀一点通”)
  10.东边日出西边雨,__________
  同学答:床头打架床尾合
  还有个同学答:上错花轿嫁对郎
  11.__________,糟糠之妻不下堂
  同学答:结发之夫不上床
  (语文老师暴怒!)
  12.但愿人长久,shape up skechers,__________
  同学答:一颗永流传
  (当时狂笑,现在觉得挺经典的,skechers shape ups。正解为“千里共婵娟”)
  13.西塞山前白鹭飞,__________
  同学答:东村河边爬乌龟
  (对的挺工整的)
  14.我劝天公重抖擞,__________
  同学答:天公对我吼三吼
  (正解为“不拘一格降人才”,龚自珍)
  15.天生我才必有用,__________
  同学答:关键时刻显神通
  又有同学答:老鼠儿子会打洞
  (整办公室的语文老师集体毫无形象的狂笑)
  16.天若有情天亦老,__________
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  (正解为“月若无恨月长圆”李贺《金铜仙人辞汉歌》)
  17.洛阳亲友如相问,__________
  同学答:请你不要告诉他
  (正解为“一片冰心在玉壶”)
  18.期末考试出对联,上联是英雄宝刀未老
  该初三同学对下联为:老娘丰韵尤存
  19.良药苦口利于病,__________
  同学答:不吃才是大傻瓜
  人生自古谁无死,__________
  同学答:只是死的有先后
  (结局:家长会后被老师留下来训话鸟……)
  20.床前明月光,__________
  同学答:李白睡的香
  21.管中窥豹,__________
  同学答:吓我一跳
  (哈哈哈!正解为“可见一斑”)
  22.__________,飞入寻常百姓家
  同学答:康佳彩霸电视机
  23.葡萄美酒夜光杯,__________
  同学答:金钱美人一大堆
  24.__________,路上行人欲断魂
  初一学生的杰作:半夜三更鬼敲门
  25.还有次考陶渊明的“吾不能为五斗米折腰”,
  同学填的是“给我六斗就可以”…
  26.老吾老以及人之老,__________
  同学答:妻吾妻以及人之妻
  (老师后来评卷时说那个同学特别具有奉献精神,哈哈)
  27.想当年,金戈铁马,__________
  同学答:看今朝,shape ups skechers,死缠烂打
  (正解为“气吞万里如虎”)
  28.五年级的一次考试就考到了“三个臭皮匠,__________”
  同学答:臭味都一样
  (把监考和外面的校长笑翻了)
  29.初一的学生对对子,“登城白云间揽山色入怀,__________”
  同学答:我到酒店去抱小姐上床
  (他的语文老师差点当场吐血而亡)
  30.两情若是长久时,__________
  同学答:该是两人成婚时
  31.沉舟侧畔千帆过,__________
  同学答:孔雀开屏花样多
  32.书到用时方恨少,__________
  同学答:钱到月底不够花
  33.天若有情天亦老,__________
  同学答:人若有情死得早
  (正解为“月若无恨月长圆”)
  34.人生自古谁无死,__________
  同学答:有谁大便不带纸
  (没有语言了...)
  35.有次考李清照的如梦令,“知否?知否?___________”
  同学答:SORRYI,DON‘TKNOW...
  (正解为“应是绿肥红瘦”)
  36.有次考鲁迅先生某句:“___________,我以我血溅轩辕”
  同学答:他以他刀插我身
  37.语文考试,填空里有一首革命诗:“为人进出的门紧锁着,_____________ ___
  ,一个声音高喊着:_________________我渴望自由,但人的身躯怎能从狗洞 子里爬出
  …”
  同学答:为狗爬出的洞也锁着/他妈的,都锁着!
  38.千山万水总是情,___________
  同学答:多给一份行不行
  (批卷老师对了一句:情是情,分是分,多给一份都不行)
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  班上有人写:一不小心扭到腰。还有一句,上句:“清水出芙蓉,(正解)天然去雕饰”。有人写,淤泥出莲 藕;还有人更绝,写:乱世出英雄
  40.问君能有几多愁,___________
  同学答:恰似一壶二锅头
  (老师批“你又喝多了……”)
  作文老师在五年级的班上上作文课,skechers women,指定一个作文题《三十年后的我》。
  班上的一位女生小美写道:今天的天气不错,我开着老公结婚周年送我的劳斯莱斯,手指上戴着他刚买给我的 三克拉大钻戒,脖子上也挂着上个月生日才送我的红宝石项链,带着我的小孩到大森林公园去玩。我们倘佯在花团 锦簇的园区里,到处都是人们羡慕的眼光。突然,路上冲出一个浑身恶臭、满脸污秽、无家可归的老太太,我仔细 一瞧,“天啊!她竟然是我小学五年级的作文老师!”
  老师评语:这一个星期你只能站着上课~
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Old 09-15-2011, 12:08 PM   #5
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bye, in the days Ajisen ... ...
our next stop, bye.
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