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Reprinted from 77004340 at 23:03 on February 5, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Funny to
1, one time I rented it to diffuse the Kindaichi, just saw the second page to tears, I do not know which days to kill a certain person with a blue ballpoint pen and drew a circle, write This was the murderer ... ...
2, the day at a friend's house, where did not find the phone does not know to take friends about his girlfriend's phone call and listen to where it is. I enter my number, according to a set aside key, the screen showed her my name saved: SB3 (and then was pleased, but fortunately, a third ...)
3, group meetings in the school today and suddenly sneezed accident, raised his head, it was found in front of the girls nose Biao to the back, and the woman is not aware of, so secretly want to help She erased, just his hand up, next to the girl discovered, shouting \
5, college students that will be dinner, drinking 一杯接一杯 dry, one would have reflected the stomach. . .
rushed to the toilet, not stand on the spewing out of a place full of ah. . . . Susu mouth back down, nothing like people. After a while, friends got up and said to the toilet, I kindly advice: \
6, the afternoon bus,
red wing shoes online, take bus card slot in the bang when thrown into a
7, high school, a job well done, the job, the teacher gave me this batch of 2 words, redo,
2 Mai Zaodian morning I went to, and then put Assignments to help me pay him the same table,
parts of the most classic, and he wrote back in the redo of the old one, will not do. pay,
next to a tragedy,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, even more tragic is about to graduate, and he told me ,,,,,,
8, walking in the crowded streets behind the high-handed whistle suddenly sounded hurried sound, not react, a Buick commercial vehicles to hit my shoulders; I'm not angry, just light out the key light in the course of its progress from start to finish the plan of the Road, a beautiful arc
9, in a stall to buy socks, a pair of cheap, would have to buy thirty pairs, the results of only one black style, and selling socks 忽悠 I said, a color is good, lost a Take the top of the other one can not see ... a thought also, he bought a thirty pairs ....
So a couple of days off for the ...
result of nearly two months, it could not stand at my table and said: you lazy dead, how say two months, you do not even exchange a pair of socks
I :....
10, the recent cooling, and on the highway to see a strong man, open-top driving that a sports car, wearing a motorcycle helmet.
11, on a whim, take your own photos as your desktop ... and then my computer to a virus ...
12, high school with theory nonsense
\reconciled na, na I can not be reconciled \
13, to say the right things
my wife the day before to find a wife online financial software, I'll give her computer, I sit and watch, the wife of skilled open
www.google.com, in the search field type \
14, to say the students parents.
his parents first love. One day to go shopping, his mother spotted a down jacket, but a look at the price to pull his father away.
his father said: we can not afford can not try? For his father to his mother forcibly into the locker room.
out for his mother, his father take a look at the East West Chou Chou, took his mother and ran, said: Run! While the salesperson is not!
his mother wearing a leather coat, the label floating outside, dragged by his dad flew out, just passing through a pillar, holding a post his mother cry. His father turned serious and said: Run! You are not waiting to be caught ah?
his mother cried even more fiercely. Then his father burst out laughing: Ha ha ha ha ... ... clothes when you go in the money I paid before.
15, batch job, see the students do not draw geometric problems, readily Comments: No Image No Truth ~
16, his girlfriend want to check calls, send text messages to 10086: How much is left of my calls
17, student A a car accident, leg fracture, hospital
few of us went to see him play good students into the hospital for a department to
met his parents I hastened on
A condition to go ask the results of an open
became
\.
18, on the high school, the most funny thing
that would be no money, we often pool to buy cigarettes, the day both me and my buddy just bought a ready Heyan
go to the toilet pumping, the results for class, the class teacher of the class, forget it
first class when the class to see the guy sneaking wrote a note, and then rub a big group, I throw over
by the class teacher can see, the class teacher directly down off the table, standing on the podium and began to read
sweat ing, if I know the above is written in what, I would rather swallow does not give her a mouth
class: \In addition ZJ
\belly laugh hurt ... ...
appeared most classic
\... RZ
19, my roommate make fun of me, and I hide the purse in a little box, MD The problem is that little box that I want to mail a Nvwang Guangzhou gift, I mailed two days of too much bad only to find their wallet was gone. I am in Wuhan, my ID card, bank card, his girlfriend's photographs in Guangzhou Nvwang hands.
20,
red wing store, yesterday in Wal-Mart, suddenly hurt my stomach, suppressing burst into the bathroom, just an earth-shattering eruption began to squat, the results of the children next door burst into tears, her mother asked her how she said, smelly ~ ~
21, arrived in the coastal, uninstall completed. Task is a fielding drill attachment for anti-landing exercise division, and everyone flew the vehicle to prepare. I'm using grease gun to the road wheel lubrication, fat political commissar standing behind me for a moment, concerned said: small comrades hard it! There are 12 tanks did not expect the wheels to boost the morale of soldiers, tanks, not easy ah!
I was moved almost to tears.
22, is always on the high school class that we gather to smoke
day I just have a more proud to tell you what, I smoked the results of other people are pumping slow
finished, I left half-root, look fast for a class, the big mouth and suck two
teacher suddenly came in, I asked myself a thrown on the ground, and stamped a foot
sucked, but just had two cigarette Hold your breath
have seen the class teacher, came over and asked me, you do not smoke
I shook my head teacher: teacher talk
anger continued shaking his head: you gave to me
Me: I ... do not ... pumping ... smoke ... (along with the smoke spewing from the nose and mouth continued)
teacher has not choked laugh ... ...
23, today, to have dinner with work colleagues, both of us ordered a plate of fried eggs, pepper, and found a hair, and my colleagues to pick up the hair with chopsticks, shouting, you see the boss ~ ~ Look What's this? Owner of a look, oh, sigh ~ called, to, come! To the lady for a pair of chopsticks
24, spent 50 dollars on the Internet bought a piece of hand-made face soap, no two days spent at night thinking about the time that has been thin with a half, and above these are soap bubbles, so angry I vomit blood.
My dad said, you're that good with soap, bath covered with slippery.
25, Pisa, Italy, the first time to eat, do not know Chisha to 38 per cent point is 8 yuan to send a cheese course.
meal complete, found that something was lacking, I thought, had fewer copies of cheese,
then shouted: Waiter, my share of cheese not on how ah? I have finished, but also to not make people eat?
Waiter: Sir, that you have poured your cheese pizza ...
me: okay, you get busy it ...
26, at noon back to the dormitory, I saw a Coke cup, direct a full drink. My face was green finish. Quarters that the original man bought a bag of dumplings vinegar, no place to fall, with my glass installed. . .
27, topics like the teacher to join them, one day the teacher Topic: \p>
28, I'm kind of forgetful, bath last night and forgot to turn off the gas ...
then my mom helped me clean up the mess on the side of the side said: So you must not sin,
red wing heritage, because will certainly leave evidence of a crime ...
29, 一日 to complete a physical, not hungry, went to restaurant for dinner, many people, too crowded, too chaotic, I call on the ladies Dafan: \!, \
30, when I dig pocket, a key out, and did not find, then go back and find!
of young lovers in the roadside, where the men suddenly moved to say: Who is it? In the end is this?
I thought is the key to quickly say: My, my! My
later learned, turned out that the woman was pregnant. . . . Poor my face ah. . . Pain for a few days
31, true story I like High School next door ..
person A was the teacher in the class to sleep ... well done .. he found
called a solution to the blackboard questions .. ...
not write the words to a public humiliation for a fact did not come to the blackboard
teachers began to sour him ..
school grades are so bad they dare to sleep is the head ought to be ashamed
not at home ... only to sleep all day ...
did not think he can even write ... .. solutions also pretty ...
teachers had to let a little embarrassment ... he returned to his seat not a good pipe ....
He actually did not think the teacher was kind enough to choke one ....
I'll sleep for about
you still will not ask to be my
32, my brother went to play basketball in a primary school, a low-grade girls asked to hear a low-grade boys: \3 yuan, of which five have so you take two snacks, and you say I love your ..
33, saying that my girlfriend to play summer jobs, in a square to sell mobile phone handsets
One day at noon, lunch time, almost no stores, my girlfriend came the counter next to an uncle-class people will look at mobile phones, just not that section of the counter eating MM, weakly, and looked at Uncle also not buy a mobile phone Zhu Er, no it on the counter with his arm supported her head, because the MM chest (crab) of relatively large, the uncle suddenly found watching it to see MM's milk (crab ) channel, all eyes look straight, my wife found out, would like to remind the MM, the results of MM no response, a few minutes later, MM openings: Big Brother, watching enough? Enough to buy a cell phone to see it ... ...
result uncle said nothing, bought a cell phone running for the door and fled to the ... ...
34, heard friends say, a colleague of his relatives to Xiamen, Xiamen, e relative to the one cartoon, on the bus, the driver looked at this person e cartoons, wanted to find the location, the driver called live in him, said: \, tried my best to read: \
35, one day I'm in the toilet (school dormitory toilets, squatting) toilet, squatting for too long legs a little buzz, so he propped the door handle to maintain balance, and then feel they have to come out of a toilet , and then began to force, unwittingly used the power of their hands, the results. . . . . I X, locks broken, and I rolled out.
you think you were the friend of a friend out to see the scene? ! A light (crab) Ding students suddenly rolled out from the toilet, but also accompanied by a toilet in his jet out of PP, absolutely shocking! ! ! And all of a floor, basically all know, I X! ! This group of students in front of this life suppressed the ...
36, the morning her husband took me to the unit left, and then I suddenly received his text message: \. \
37, sat beside the bus one morning with a mask of MM and is the location of the window, and now you are not influenza ferocious trouble, so it no feel anything. We all know that many people now winter bus windows were shut,
red wing mens boots, the car smell bad some people are naturally frowned. MM's demeanor to be that it is natural I saw her out of his pocket and a straw on the side of the mouth to open the window a crack, greedy sucking the outside air. . . . . This is not the general ah =. =
38, we always like pretending to maths teacher told me a humorous jokes no one laughs
our class to discuss a spoof of him, and so the first thing he said when the school, we
all day he came in laughing unison, silent a moment that he dad died
I immediately burst out laughing, others silent.
39, water and soil it
see a few in a very serious cashier
a child ran across a pile of coins, ran to sing: a group of ducks in front of the bridge over the downstream, fast Come to count, twenty-four thousand six hundred seventy-eight. . . .
cashier is depressed and then the number of coins in half the number of go back and re ....
40, high school boarding school, some students go home to let him help me picking up some things, they send text messages: to the point of my clothes and money to burn.
41, and girlfriend, dating, and I see there in front of a girlfriend like to go up the next shot her ass.
she turned around and gave me a slap.
then someone beat me on the shoulder ...
I turned around and gave me a slap his girlfriend.
42, the day suddenly take a phone call: \Then I am angry and asked, \a
43, yesterday morning, a twenty years had never met fellow suddenly called to my office and said: \He is the Anhui Shexian people to work at a local foreign-funded enterprises. Recently, we have here is a vegetable dehydration companies and their co-develop a new product, his presence as a foreign technical staff to our Xinghua this enterprise.
the news was really very sudden, when we were in the army, then do not say no, feeling particularly good. Lost contact a few years ago, never thought he suddenly came to our Xinghua. I told him on the phone, I immediately went to their cooperative unit was picked up at noon get together.
I went to their cooperative units, boy! Companies really have style, management style is all foreign model, the company first entered the door to cross-examine the defense together, register, sign particularly strict about my comrades who are deployed units who agreed to guard me into the company.
I went to an old ally of the workshop said, the old comrades see me, nodded at me, and made a face. That means I can understand, not to rush, do not allow parlor, let me at the edge of a minute.
I'm bored, turn in the workshop for a while, from the bag and pulled out a newspaper point of view in the shop door again. Suddenly there is a boss who went to look behind me, stood beside a security guard, he looked at me, patted my shoulder and said: \smiled and said: \wages, you are fired, you immediately disappear from here. \
security very roughly that launched the company my door, I struggled to ask: \What mix 。\
44, I am a nurse, one night shift, midnight, when suddenly thought of the food species confiscated, fear of being stolen, to call my sister to let her help I received, by the way and then steal someone else's, send phone calls to go to the patients oral medication, I gently into the room and gently wake up the patient shot and simply say: Grandpa, up and steal food right!
45, last night, crab boil, the water boiled, I put the crab into the pot one by one. Crab is very fresh, in the pan move.
wife accidentally hit the good, not to see this, then hid behind me did not look over his eyes.
I am relieved and said: Allison, we are not too cruel?
wife: ah ... ... ... ... salt in it?
46, this bus, there is a one-stop driver asked: \This is the carriage to send a girl with weak cry: \I do not know how it was.
car when the woman on TV and uttered: \
47, I put a fart on the bus,
see around us have waved, face pain,
I waved.
next to the President turned round to me: you do not installed
48, Dragon Boat Festival is coming, the unit sent a box of milk and a bag of Shang Hao Thai rice, the unit of a female colleague after work to help me help him move back home, to the downstairs, the colleague said to me: \Friends, I nodded my head did not say anything.
After a child, female colleague standing on the balcony of her house down and cried out: \I heard my female colleagues, say it loud: \people, we all went to the balcony view. Made me not in full view on, the next is not, nor walk, NND,
red wing shoe store, then the district where there are a lot of people know me. He wanted to remind her not to cry out: \Who would have thought my female colleagues, not only did not react, I thought I did not catch, his hands had a horn on word of mouth edge of more loudly exclaimed: \up, and so anxious now! \
49, Wuhan University, frequent scandals, do not know this counted - a Book of great military lesson, the teacher holding a compass in, God of God, Tao Tao around the classroom to turn in a circle, and then spit it out words: students, not school today, school
50, middle of the night four points more than a friend called to say the words: \\
51, primary school, I am a male student, picked up when walking on a piece of paper, opened it incredible, is not a curse, then read the paper, it says that tomorrow, if you do not copy the contents of the paper 50 times to other people, they would die is difficult to see so much more. To me that the students scared to go home for the night quickly copied 50. The next day to other people, at first sent out a few, but then we know what it is, do not say he was fed to the paper, so the morning passed, and his hands were also positive for several decades.
afternoon music class the first lesson, the teacher happened to point to let him sing his name, saw his tearful boy stood up and said sadly: \....\
52, after graduating from high school I went to high-speed intersection when the toll. One day a Japanese to his window to ask for directions. Japanese, fluent in English so that he did not understand a word, but a strong sense of patriotism told he could not lose face in front of the Japanese, and he smiled and nodded blindly: \person riding a bicycle on the high-speed!
53, my wife and I play to the Reclining Buddha, his wife walk the road, so I carry her.
saw an old woman, said seriously: read the book to see who you are. His wife was sick to the hospital earlier, Buddha is useless
54, the students travel, reached the top, a special girl shouted at the peak of excitement: the motherland, ah, my mother! Then a crush on this woman special boy shouted encouraging: the motherland ah, my wife's mother!
55, my house has been rented to a Japanese guest, one day, the guests hit me a call, with a not very fluent in Chinese, said: \help me add it! \no? \breathe in! \
56, primary school, when only a few cents of pocket money every day, save for a few days once, finally bought a bag of basil seeds, the whole class when the knock of the secret, was placed on desk drawer shell seeds a,
afternoon to class when looking at melon shell and greedy, so the seeds are including shell and into his mouth again, feeling tastes Good. .
class when a classmate asked me what to eat, I can only say Chi Guazi shell, specially spiced buy seeds shell, only the shell is not meat, is to eat taste. . The results of a bunch of students for an afternoon around the edge of my seat, I licked twice to eat the seeds shell. . . .
57, go to school when school is built, opening in September to a lot of new life. A new day is like holding a pile of work on behalf of class, asked me: \
man who went to the male toilets on the right to the door shouting \
59, high school military training, the first day of class, is the language class.
did not rest over the same table, sleeping in class.
teacher to see, \Do not sleep the,
sit down! then from 53 students to answer the question. \sit down, then the × × × students to answer! \
at the same table then stood up and said: \class representative ... .... \
60, pick up the car under the carport, see no one around, put a very bold P, The result was a loud noise next door, electric motorcycle alarm
61, take the bus, I sat in the front window position.
half an hour later, I head out the window.
buddies back there is also a head extended out the window.
I shouted to him: \also retracted, I turned around and said to him very politely: \
estimated that specific self-esteem buddies, he felt, you can stretch, I stretch to once again head out the window. I can not wait any longer
, vomit, and dirt paste that boys face.
that brothers yelled out, my next friend, Bangtaiyaoyuan, and that brothers, said: \
62, high school love to play, GF see me play often, there are times I shot column in the practice, she ran, said: \or so) I say try it!
I do not know what roots are able to get results, and a great volley,
red wing boots, a direct headshot! !
cry on the spot, this thing does not talk to me a week!
63, my bike with my friends that I lost, bought less than a week, sad.
friends say you that Suansha, I bought a bike, just one look and lost:
friend asked someone to buy a bike, multi-noon, he was in the kitchen cooking, just listen to someone downstairs shouting: \looked at, said: \
off the heat, wipe the hands, down the stairs.
NND, car gone ... ...
64, bought a ipod touch, my friends and I say the screen is very hard, not film, the key planning are all right. . I then scratched with a key. Grass
65, once the bell rang after a catch on the boys burst into the room, rushed to the last row, the teacher spoke up: some students were late to come in from the back door, do not affect others! Boys sit down, that out of buns, a bite. He found next to a beautiful MM, has been staring at her. He also thinks that MM did not have breakfast, so attentive to buns to her. The teacher has spoken, the ugly face: some students even late, and still the classroom breakfast, they eat also forget, do not send buns to the lectures the teacher it!
66, my father and mother said, when I was with them stay in the guesthouse, the morning they found that I was clever to take the toothbrush, the problem is the hotel sink is higher than my people, they ask me how to load into the water, I took them into the bathroom, pointing to the toilet ... ...
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