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Reprinted from 461435521 at 13:13 on December 13th, 2010 Read (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Used pastime
1 and a boy, the lover there is the phone number, name written as 10086. Whenever my wife should see a message each time a look said: 10086 is too nauseating, and do send the whole people ...
2 Pharaoh and his wife are the operator. One day they quarreled, Pharaoh slams. In the evening, his wife called the Pharaoh's cell phone. Pharaoh snappily said: \hung up the phone. Night, Pharaoh came home to find the door was locked, and can only call his wife's cell phone, just listen to his wife with a falsetto, said: \washboard; want a divorce, please kneel down with his knee nail plate; if you have not, the help desk for you to transfer 120. \\The results sent e-mail it to me, I looked dumbfounded: \I will marry her monster father, then on, his son called you brother, you have to call my mom! My husband fainted, from orderly.
6 patients fled the hospital in order to prevent the peripheral wall 100. Two escaped mental patients still wish to hospital. Effort over the wall in the beating in the darkness. Turned to 30 under the wall. \Go to the next wall 60. \\He lowered his head, deep answer: not a unified country, and I feel very depressed!
8 day, the platoon leader to the second class checks the House of Health, entered, a smell of foot odor. Platoon leader asked: \! \needle, the nurse is very deft needles planted to hang gentleman salt, more than 1 hour later, bottles of salt water was over, the nurse comes up immediately and put on the bottle. Mr. understand this, and asked the nurse, said: \\, and did not see me, you have goose bumps?
2, oriole see Xunsi the weasel said: \\\br> 4, an ant and tree crow fight!
ants: You kind of give me down! Raven: Then you kind of give me up! ant: good! you waiting for me, have you nice! Crow: What do you want? ant: I'll go get all my brothers shake you down and killed along with you!
5, both the welfare lottery feces shell mantis, a dragonfly feces shell: I want to in the Awards put a radius of 50 miles to buy down the toilet, eat your fill!
feces shell dragonfly B: Ah Tai Su you! I hit the jackpot on the package if the one living, eat fresh!
6, male butterflies of the female butterfly sings: \\\, we say nothing in this life Do not try!
1. Ghost: God, I want the next reincarnation, like an angel white body, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood. God: What do you Whisper reincarnated it.
2. have a friend for the first time work-study program in the park Maibing Gun, I am sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: \one, but was happy to follow the call: \while crying: \\\Wukong. you do not chase.
6. One day test organisms, of which one question is to look at the legs of birds to guess the names of birds. really do not know of a raw, angry on the paper to leave the examination room of a tear. invigilator very angry and asked him: \\\Malegebi. loose the first \A: Gas exchange - the parrot: Who. - A: for gas - ... ... - master came home the door lay person, the owner wondering, this is Who - gate: for gas.
9. one in the road to see a bunch of things, squat sniffed that may be going to the toilet, put his hand touched his mouth to lick the next point, and said, really is going to the toilet, but fortunately did not step on!
10. doctor asked the patient how the fracture, A: I think the shoes of sand to hold the pole shoes shaking, I shake ah shake ...... someone thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks.
11. A professor teaching in the field: \. . \. . \. . \\Moujun panic, shouting: \aim is not! \it? \\\Wo Niu said the reasons: how the turtle hit you? are hanging plaster nest to undecided cow panic recalls: I do not remember, when he too quickly!
16. A polar bear to stay alone on ice in a daze, really boring pull their hair began to play a ... ... ... ... three ... two ... the last one is not pulling left, he suddenly cried out cold ... ah!
17. colleagues daughter is a small Meirenpeizai, her mother came back from kindergarten often ask her: \\\speak out: \. .
19. The two men went to the mountains to play, a man fell off a cliff accidentally stumble, peer anxiously shouted: \\, comrades!
21. monkey asked the fox, how to put an elephant with a song that described the ass? fox said: Leo's ant heard saying: \I thought it was power train the.
22. two brothers were the tiger chase, and his brother Dist, said: \can beat you on the line. \.
24. a stylish woman onto the bus, saw a fierce air potty paper towel wipe out a while, just to put a fart sitting Unfortunately, next to a man laughed: \would also like to play on \and went for many years, shut the gas, but also starting, and walked away, and went for many years - finally came to the polar bear's door, knock on the door: --- polar bear! Come out to play! - Polar Bear: --- not play.
26. junior high school, a math teacher speaking equation change, a rolled sleeves on the podium loudly: students pay attention! I want to deformed!
27. a judge strabismus, B, C three day trial, the suspect - A judge said: \did not ask you. \Lord also came to the glass of water! \
29. a rabbit into a shop to ask the boss: Do you have any carrots to sell here? His wife said: no. After a child rabbit again Q: Do you have any carrots to sell here? Impatient boss says no! After a child again asked the rabbit, the boss had had enough: if you come back trouble and I took the scissors to cut your ears! - After a child rabbit again: Do you have any scissors to sell here? The boss said: no. Rabbit asked: Do you have any carrots to sell here.
30. devil seize the princess - the devil said: You break the throat even though it is called, no one will save you! - Princess: broken throat, breaking the throat! - No one: Princess, I'm coming to you! - Devil: speak of the devil she is! - Cao Cao: devil, why do you call me? - Devil: Wow, saw a ghost! - Ghost: ########! Been found. - By: nonsense, who found me? - Who: Pishi with me! - Devil: oh, my god! - God: Who told me? ! - Who: No one told you, ah! - No one: how can I! ! ! - It is said that the devil got from schizophrenia.
31. a marriage the king was asked the princess, the princess an apple on his head, who should have the opportunity to marry its princess shot. - The first man shot in the apple, he said: \Princess shot, he said: I'm sorry ...
32. a person in a mental hospital practice, suddenly a neurotic holding a knife to chase him, this man turned around and ran, ran until a dead end, thinking that this is over, the patient said: you knife, which you chase me.
33. flight attendant advised passengers to wear seat belts - \sit properly, as with the living. \School leaders to publicly call the name of their students. A time to respond to an endless stream, one of the loudest voices: Reading top bird-use!
35. the sun to the grass on the phone - the sun: Hey, the grass you? I day. - Grass: I grass, Who are you? - Sun: I'm on ah - Grass: I am the grass, you in the end Who - The Sun: I'm at, ah, you are right grass - grass: TMD, Who are you in the end, I am the grass - the sun: I'm at, I shall ah - Grass : I am the grass. - Sun's mother grabbed the phone: grass, I at his mother, the grass your mother right?
36. male and female friends to go shopping - a girlfriend: Oh, good acid, oh feet. - Boyfriend was nervous: how? Step on a lemon?
37. Bear asked the little white rabbit: \said: \
38. a small rabbit to the bakery: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: no. The next day the rabbit came again: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Sorry, no. - On the third day of a door rabbits: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: I'm too embarrassed, or not. - The fourth day the rabbit came hopping: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Great! Today, a hundred small bread ~! - Rabbit: Great! Give me two!
39. father and son take the bus. - Son: Dad, what time ah? - Father: stopped to go. - Son: when to stop ah? - Father: to stopped.
40. There was a man and a tiger tied to two trees, respectively, the Tigers tied the rope below a candle to Get out the rope burns out, and if the rope is blown, the tiger will eat into out, the results say a word, no eat by Tiger - he said \
41. Wolf just wanted to take food when passing a house, heard a man learned their children: \night, morning, choking the wolf have to say: man, men are liars!
42. the girl asked her boyfriend, \stay away from \did not catch, go home. - On the third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: - If you dare ######## with Wu Lo Bu as bait, I'll die you flat!
44. Moujun first plane, fear, afraid to open eyes, eyes open after 15 minutes, look out the window and yelled: \, people are like ants.! \\! \points good pull. But another hair stylist accidentally knocked off the root. Sanmao fire a look: you want me to Ah disheveled?
47. Once there was a candy, long walk in the street, suddenly said, : Oh, my feet a good soft.
48. M: Do you like me? - Women: do you think .- Male: Yes! - Female: You guess again.
49. a mental patient in writing, and The doctor asked: \to how do you know!
50. a male teacher angrily to sleep on a school girl said: I am tired to death in the above, you are motionless in the following! do not match it when even the point of no response in the future if the stomach not things, can not blame the teacher! results of the class fainted.
51. One night, a ########## man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, ########## furious and shouted: You not seen his mother ########## man it! driver also furious: I see where you money from his mother.
52. male and female friends to sleep a room, the woman drew the line: Over the line is brutal. found that men really do not wake up over the line, the woman the man severely beat a slap in the face: you do not even like animals!
53. Hongtao meet foreign guests one day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu , foreign guests, said: I am his mother was seven of diamonds it!
54. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: \\\? There almost every day of rain.
56. cliff waving a mouse, a short front paws, jump again and again, to learn to fly,
mens timberland roll top boots, watched it fall next to the mother bat's badly beaten, worried that: it father, to do not tell it, it is not we own the.
57. and friends to see the sunrise the top of Mount Tai, a friend pointed to the sky, said: \Bai! what you cried ah! \Student A: Everyone must feces, stool who is not paper. The teacher was very angry and told the students left standing. The following year, the teacher asked the same question back to students. Then the students smarter. He replied: Everyone must feces, stool who is not paper. If the king do not have toilet paper, unless you are with your fingers. Teachers too happy, told the students left standing there! At this time, the teacher saw it was snowing outside the window, regret, and said: God does not rain snow,
timberland shoes online, snow to the ground as rain. When the rain turned into much trouble, why did not rain. Student teacher in again: the teacher does not eat shit food, food that goes into feces. Feces into more trouble when, why did not eat shit. In this way the teacher fainted! Haha ...... 2, geography teacher asked: where the river flows ah? Students stand up and sing a fierce: rivers to the east ah! He added that the teacher ignored: A number of stars in the sky? The student then sings: Ah Compass reference stars! Teacher shortness of breath: You get out! Students: that we left Afghanistan to go! Teacher helpless: you sick, right? Student: You have, I have all have Ah! Teacher: Do you sing a try! Student: Road see injustice life roar Ah! Teacher: Do you believe I played you? Student: The O can act! Teacher angry: I will let you drop! Student: Ah Jiuzhou catch break! Haha. . . Forwarded to your friends to see. More smile, one less to worry less.
59. noon, to save money, a beautiful line in the back when asked me: \do not have to queue up. \
60. afternoon on the bus, take bus card slot in the bang when thrown into a.
61. one day find the phone was gone, a search of homes in every corner of the bag as well, failed. Then fell to the ground sullenly, and took out cell phones, mass text messages to everyone: I lost cell phone.
62. neighbor forgotten his key, turned over the balcony from my house, find the keys in the house after he turned back, and then open their own door. Even more stunning is that I was beginning to end collusion in the balcony, did not feel something wrong. Alas, we were the head must have been his way through the same door.
63. still remember the first time when the confession to the girl, too tight, and thus be \Members asked for a bottle of large Sprite, for everyone down in a circle,
timberland roll top online, when their turn the bottle was empty. The Sprite then the waiter shakes his colleagues, said: \br> 65. and the company of two enthusiastic female colleagues (full model) together with a meal,
timberland boots online, they get together to give me a description object. I want to say: you two really enthusiastic matchmaker results of an open ah: you two fat woman ...
66. Ge Jige Warcraft. Counselor rounds, furious, grabbed the mouse, the desktop shortcut to Warcraft dragged into the recycle bin, clear, saying: let you play with!
67. Once you play mahjong,
timberland roll top boots mens, power, and to point the root Candles continue to fight, then was too hot, yelling, \I'm going to the boss 35 of non-compliance have to, tell a few back and forth does not give way, I think even if,
Kids Timberland Boots, and to the sheets 50, and he was very deft gave me 35.
69. a subject requirements that the following four sentences with related words connection: 1. Zhang Haidi sister paralyzed; 2, Zhang Haidi sister stubborn to learn; 3, Zhang Haidi sister learned several foreign languages; 4, Zhang Haidi sister learned acupuncture. The correct answer should be: \sister, though paralyzed, but tough to learn, not only learned several foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture. The results have a child wrote: Although Zhang Haidi sister doggedly learned acupuncture and several foreign languages, she was paralyzed. also found A more violent child wrote: Zhang Haidi sister learned not only language, but also learned acupuncture, she was so tough to learn, and finally paralyzed!
70. noon cooking, my mother gave me a pot of carrots: \carrots cut into cubes! \72. a leadership led by people drinking, raised his glass and loudly: \How much Shakespeare? bosses on the spot stayed.
74. time to market to buy food, prepare dinner, a Korean friend bought a lettuce, 4 to 2, he gave him all the change vendors, leaving a shortfall of one dime, so he said to the hawkers - \\\...
76. Xiaoqiang speech at the rally, the following people listen! Xiao Qiang, said: \\mouth called \is bought, the boss asked them to not put parsley, the men said no, how do woman said. I think in the next, \, the boss asked me what to eat? I loudly replied without hesitation: \steamed buns, Sunday school my mom did not porridge, I do not know Flanagan smoked ribs, rice, throw bag porting Le.
81. One day, said many people buy a duck, so she say, elderly people without hesitation: \A student credit card, the machine did not respond, painted or not, it is depressing that the machine is broken, and I said let me try, brush a little card, the machine really did not respond! he pulls out one, still the same, very angry ! received the card just about to put the bag and found a bank card in his hand, I am laughing! he pointed me laugh even more, I get the original ID!
83. morning and left a plastic bag inside is full of snacks, his right hand a plastic bag garbage in the morning to open the trash, \a bag of garbage.
84. take the subway into the gate, take the gate on the phone mad brush, has also been behind the other, and how I say it does not come out the brush, the machine is broken now... sweat.
85 . Twenty years ago I proudly rode twenty-eight inches mom of the Phoenix men's bike gave me a year old sister to kindergarten, to kindergarten she was extremely chic leg swing to make the move after the praying mantis and feel knock Le Han . She did not go forward as a means to Tuizhao Che, walking a few steps behind someone without shouting, \delicate cross fell to the ground to stay, bringing twenty years later, I drop my sister refused to take a life and death of mother I drop a bike, this hate hate twenty years ...
86. like to eat seeds all stoned. Guishi guess God, nibbling all the good, put a plate of melon seeds back to the old computer trash, watching the seeds of another shell plate daze.
87. display stand, to shake the mouse, the result stand, straining Akira for a long time, found himself shaking the phone ...
88. cyclists to buy things, to the store did not lock the car went into the shop. After buying something out of the lock, the bike ready to go.
89. a child like biting pen head, a day biting feel right, especially salt, and a mouth that sucked the ink, there are times finished cut apples, the grant is not long off, very proud, shoving the apple thrown into the trash , holding the skin go out into his mouth!
100. scrambled eggs with tomatoes, boiled eggs, when holding a knock at the Wanbian not bad for a long time, but his wife said, bad eggs.
101. on times a cold shot, the nurse to take your pants off in the end result almost.
102. the company has sub-Fan Yun, and to the toilet, and unknowingly walked into the pure water in front of the machine, watching the big half a bucket of water , actually did not react, \Fortunately, no one beside. then think about, it is estimated the work was I was too busy.
103. picnic pulled out his last cigarette packets point directly to the zippo cigarette thrown into the fire back into the heap bag, still barbecue, after the blow out a pile of clothes spark ruined 2 2 bowls of dumplings also destroyed.
104. hold the phone when the cigarette lighter, hold the phone when the TV remote control meal press.
105. cooking when the phone rang. take calls directly to the phone put Caipen inside. Results and vegetables to the pot along with the. and then looked at the pan flute for a long time before the phone out quickly. okay then If the speculation is bean curd lettuce .. ... on the end ..
106. college roommate and go home, change clothes together after the door and suddenly saw a little strong, she went up the pia , and then holding a small strong body to come to frighten me, I am afraid of worms, opened the door and ran out of a tight, she was excited to continue to pursue me... all to the elevator, the only \dressed only in underwear, her pants 。。。。。 wearing a small.... Fortunately, no one in the corridor.
107. One time the bathroom to go wash their hands to eat, a sudden short-circuit the brain to see the mirror, very skilled Take the cup toothbrush, the toothbrush squeeze cleanser, puts the rhythm, brush teeth out, while also wonder how today's toothpaste taste right.
108. The first day at work, someone calls to find manager (woman), the phone to the manager by the way the sound, Mom was looking for you, answer the phone.
109. One time on the computer lessons, while her boyfriend sent me the information, while very brave teacher shouted out loud: \not connected! \a colleague asked her to buy a new number is the number, she said forget to dial the phone with the card replaced their PHS. Dial and colleagues, to continue to chat, PHS rang, she picked up asked: \? ... ... Hello? ... ... you say ah, do not say I hung up! \Zhongguancun cruise, a hawker Couguo ask, \:; What is your nationality; students, said:; Yi \of you! ...
114. a friend teach household appliances, to see a home weight scale arrayed on the ground, the Friends of body fat, to want to try to see the scale. So step right up, \, and in hindsight, that was a cooker.
115. for the first time using public transportation IC card, on the bus I took the initiative to the driver flashed the card to straight to the seat. do not want the driver said: \facing the IC card, carefully read: \... \bowl''bullet''cauliflower soup! \shouted: 'cool Ah ... Ah ... cool.' passersby puzzled. asked: '? what are they cool.' family members cried: 'Shuangsi ... ... Shuangsi!! 119. one said, turtle Dad, Mom and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking, they took a brick-and two cans of chicken submarine, then went off to Yangmingshan. hard to climb ten years, at last! they sat on the floor, remove the equipment ready to eat. results with a can opener but found no! son of a bitch: \Turtle Dad: \blink of an eye passed 20 years, son of a bitch has yet to emerge. Turtle Mom: \, the son of a bitch still can not see tracks. Parents regardless of the turtle! Old couple decided to start. Is preparing to open out to eat cake ... ... Suddenly, son of a bitch stuck his head out from behind a tree ... ... son of a bitch: \years, finally I wait it! I hate most people lie to me!
119. One night drinking with some friends, some people are drunk. one to sleep in the street, we also carry do not move him to talk to him find something to cover, do not catch a cold. A few days later to see him, he said the next day woke up and found him lying three bicycles.
120. small Xin: Dad, Why is my name there are three payment? Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin, like some life in the water to take named Miao, and some life in the absence of wood called Forest. small Xin: Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing and her sister what life in the missing?
121. a pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench in love, women suddenly want to fart. of the man said: I Division of Cuckoo call, you listen to like like. male pleasure than hear. Thus, women in the \too much, I could not!
122. turtle injured. let the snail go to buy medicine. after 2 hours. snail has not come back. turtle anxious cursed: ***'s do not come back I died! this When the door came the sound of a snail: *** You say I'm not going!
123. One day an elephant in the bath. Suddenly there was an ant came to this they said. you stand up. started to stand up. ant! you sit down and go. elephants do not understand Yeah you want to ask the ants. one will stand up and sit down for a while. ant replied! lost my underwear I'll see if you stole to wear.
124. elephant accidentally stepped on ants, ants are out in force, have climbed to the elephants. elephant shook himself, the ants were all fall down. At this time there is an elephant's neck in , falling ants called loudly, \row all dead. \\\\\eat a good amount.
127. Xiao Ming: \\! ! ! . . !
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