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Old 05-30-2011, 06:38 AM   #1
fdoge516
 
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Default Microsoft Office 2007 Key Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Earlier this month I posted parodies of famous authors, Tom Clancy and then Raymond Chandler, writing Help for Publisher and asked what other authors you'd like to see writing Help. KarinH suggested Hemingway, Marquez, and Sedaris. Here's my version of Gabriel Garcia Marquez writing Help.



The Colonel cursed at the printer, sweat running under his shirt and down the furrow of his spine. It was his granddaughter's birthday and all of Macando would be coming to his hacienda under the cool summer trees along the river outside of town for the celebration. La Matareria,Microsoft Office Professional 2010, his formidable housekeeper of four decades, told him to have the posters and banner printed by the time she returned with the caterers on the steamboat from town, but the Colonel had never been good with machines that did not inflict pain and so he cursed the printer.

It was spring when the Colonel first saw the banners. His father took him to see the parade; mustachioed men in white uniforms rode white horses shining in the bright new sun under signs proclaiming the counter-revolution as the priest blessed them with holy water and incense. A storm of butterflies startled the gleaming horses, toppling the uniformed men slowly into the mud of the street.

He shook himself from his reverie and shouted for Ruiz.

"Ruiz! The printer is broken! It printed the banner, and it prints the poster, but does not fill the poster board, it looks ridiculous!" He could hear his youngest son's quick footsteps through the dining room. Ruiz stopped at the door of the Colonel's study, waiting. "Well come in and make yourself of use!"

"Si, Papa. You are making the posters?"

"Of course I'm making the posters! Now make the machine print."

Ruiz quickly took in the scene while the Colonel took in his son. He could still clearly see his wife in Ruiz's intelligent eyes and sharp cheeks. It was in the autumn of La Violencia when she was killed, the Colonel too late to save her, ash and leaves falling slowly in the fading light as he and his men ran through the town with torches, burning the towns of Matoro for the counter-revolution and for his wife.

"Ah, Papa, you forgot about creating the bleed."

He wondered what Ruiz knew of blood and bleeding.

"Here, in the Page Setup dialog box, under Page, we make the page bigger than the sheet of paper. The poster paper is 17 inches by 22 inches, so we set the page to 17.5 by 22.5, instead of the 15 by 18 inches you have now. Now I click Print and let the printer do its work,Office 2010 Download!"

The printer hummed,Microsoft Office 2007, the pens moved fluidly across the paper,Windows 7 Activation, and the paper flew out,Microsoft Office 2007 Key, turning to butterflies that landed on the walls, their wings winking in the dappled light as the Colonel heard the first faint chuffing of the steamboat's engine.



Log in to the comments and post your thoughts, suggestions, and your own parodies in the comments.

-- Bob deLaubenfels
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:42 AM   #2
l4ik2jhhy
 
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Default

In recent days I was a grievance, injustice, despair, resentment haunted, depressed. I know this is not good to myself. My bad liver, liver disease are most afraid of sulking.
cause of the little things from her and her husband in a bad communication caused. He thinks that I am many things, I blame him stubborn.
afterwards I feel very worth, there have been several initiatives to give him a chance, to reconciliation with him, but his reaction is more to add to my resentment. I would like to ask for help, but I know that middle-aged people to not wash your dirty linen in public, clean government the truth become a dead letter. Also know that, even if he wanted to help others and help you, the role is very limited, can not completely solve your problem. It's like itching, how the show's not as exciting solution to start their own itch. So much deliberation that the ultimate solution to their problems, it is best to rely on their own.
It's like the sick doctor. Where does it hurt, where the itch, why the cause, he is most clear. But according to your symptoms doctors prescription only. But even the good doctor, and for your illness has made a science of diagnosis and a prescription issued to you, but if patients do not take prescribed medicine is not enough.
stubborn, patients sometimes do not believe the doctors, just believe in yourself, to prescribe for ourselves. This is sometimes regarded as a treatment method,tory burch shoes, because it is more quick and easy on the one hand, and secondly, to accept their own initiative, the medication will be more conscious, the effect may be better.
a bad mood, depression is actually a disease, known as heart disease. To treat heart disease, to find a psychiatrist. In my opinion, the best psychologist their own, anytime, anywhere to turn to, and do not spend money.

my husband and I married fifteen years, and have been relatively harmonious, loving husband and wife are basically considered. Prior to this, we often walk hand in hand with his arms around me playing, I'm one with you a taste of a fruit, or even over the age of fifty I also often in front of him like a baby. But the saying goes, live a long time, teeth are bound to bite your tongue, conflicts between husband and wife quarrel is normal. Flow in the rain of heaven saying, the couple quarrel is not vengeful. But this is not normal in my home, often for several trivial incident in the Cold War days.
In fact, I used to be a very simple, where a person where that will not hold a grudge, and most are not used to the cold war with others. But her husband paranoid cold stubborn, irrational sophistry third approach also makes me look angry. Gradually, the air grew larger, under the control of the self-esteem do not want to take the initiative to ease him easily, though I know that in this process is the biggest hurt myself. His temper cool, cold for longer does not matter, according to according to eat drink, according to play according to sleep. And for I can not.

often conflict with the marriage, so I am unfair because I think they, I told him to pay more than he paid me more, he should be good to me, not bad for me, for I'm not good is that he has no conscience, that is, he does not know how to cherish the feelings and happiness.
now want to come I was wrong. I forgot I treat him in the days he gave me a lot of love and happiness. He treated me in the days of evil I have given him a lot of evil to be.
I scolded him and called him, and said hard words, and even curse words hurt him. In the event of a dispute when I lost the compassion, tolerance, forget the happy marriage and lasting love by patience to run; do not know, as a people, as a wife, as their loved ones, treat the same kind, be kind to their loved ones is my duty, and duty.
saying what goes around, comes around. In the past I kind of similar and relatives, in fact, life has been good in the newspaper: I survived it; to meet my daughter a good marriage; to make my father quit smoking; let my sister back home; let my sister business booming; let my brother growing business; let me ninety-year-old grandmother health and longevity ... ...
and I know that evil will be similar and face evil for the family. I should remember it.

Now, some soul, I know that I unknowingly married life into a misunderstanding,tory burch reva, loving husband and wife before I got used to loving and harmonious family life, to think that couples should not quarrel, and so U.S. U.S. life should last forever.
fact, this is an extremely unrealistic. The universe and nature is a human teacher. There rose a day off, on a lack of a round, sunny days are overcast, flowers have opened a welcome, human feelings can always sweetly how, or even worse,tory burch on sale, when not flat? Saying: it?
fear most is that every person alive should always striving for perfection,tory burch flats, which will own and other people feel bitter and tired. Six Primary Afflictions Buddhism has been emphasizing the dangers slow, careful in life that I wanted to commit this wrong. Too true in marriage soul to cut too deep too, strive for perfection. But a little less prone to unhappy, others arrogant, respectful submissive to her husband, the lack of heart. On the forest for the trees in the pursuit of life, lost its way, the most cherished in life do not know what it is.
the pain out of trouble to the quagmire, I have to learn to put aside, put aside all the wishful thinking and dedication. Buddhist teachings in the future I want to revisions in the meditation, learn to comprehend the flat light into the true meaning of life, enjoy life's pleasures.
Buddhist precepts can students be said, will be able of wisdom. With the wisdom of life, will be able to calmly deal with the annoyance of all life,tory burch 2011, to find longevity of the party. Distress Zen can not be shaken by external events; set, can not interfere with the inner emotions generated. I know that is difficult to reach such a state, but to really get music from suffering, I must strive to be, to remember: br> always wipe ground,tory burch outlet,
this thought, the more my heart feel better, too slowly for all relieved. Bamboo stud looked up and saw out the window and straight, but a closer look at each on both bamboo. That is probably the bamboo bamboo self-healing, self-growth results, right?
life, do your own psychiatrist, how good!
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:52 AM   #3
leeiynoa
 
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Default найти любовника в бердске

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Old 05-30-2011, 06:57 AM   #4
jheletri
 
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Default Acheter Brand Cialis

Brand Cialis





Usage general
Brand Cialis a ete developpe par la companie pharmaceutique de Lilly et contient la principale composante de Tadalafil.
Ce medicament est utilise pour traiter le dysfonction erectile (l'impuissance) chez les hommes et pour le traitement d'hypertension arterielle pulmonaire.
Tadalafil affecte la reponse a la stimulation ######uelle et ameliore l'erection. Le medicament agit pendant 36 heures. L'effet apparait meme apres 20 minutes apres que la medication a ete prise.
Pris le matin ce medicament agit quand le bon moment viendra durant la journee, le soir, ou meme durant la journee suivante.
...
Dosage et administration
La dose recommandee de Cialis est 20 mgs. Il devrait etre pris 15 minutes avant l'activite ######uelle. L'effet se conserve pendant 36 heures. Ne prenez pas Cialis plus qu'une fois par 2 jours.
Evitez de manger le pamplemousse ou boire du jus de pamplemousse pendant que l'on vous traite avec cette medication.




































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Old 05-30-2011, 06:47 AM   #5
demetri505
 
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